HELLO THIS IS THE MEGA SIGN UP POST/LIST POST

if you have a preferred week please tell me

sodium_nitride* (5-11 - 5/17)
peanutbuttercupola* (5/18 - 5/24)
Shaleesh* (5/25 - 5/31)
GayTuckerCarlson* (6/1 - 6/7)
SwitchyandWitchy* (6/8 - 6/14)
Alisu* (6/15 - 6/21)

​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

I finally came out to my family and it went well! My identity is not questioned, they are slowly using my new name and pronouns too 🩷

Happy Victory Day to the queer people in my phone

user with a history of transphobia feigning ignorance to run defense for a known transphobe ultraleftist slop youtuber? just a normal day outside of the trans mega on hexbear. more purges now!

Today I successfully made my desires known through communication with words 🥳

Being closeted is its own special circle of hell. I know my identity but most people don't. Every interaction feels fake and hollow.

Hopefully only another year of this. I can get laser in that time. Have time to voice train but probably won't. Fuck me

You ever have someone that you knew for a short amount of time (a month, a week, a few days, even just a conversation or single comment) but who nevertheless changed you in some big way, and you still think about them years later and wish you could talk to them again and just know what they're doing now and tell them how they changed your life and everything? But like, you were just some person they met once years ago and they don't think about you, probably don't even remember you. I have many of these people.

Got excited because I thought I saw a missing cat, took a photo and ran back to the poster I thought was for but turns out different cat. I thought I cracked the case but guess I'm back to hitting the dirt roads again

Just found out my mom's on E and prog lol. Apparently has been helping her mood and sleep.

Same though

Had a complete asshole patient tonight 😑. Weirdest insult I got from him, he called me malevolent and asked if I knew what that meant. But he was also good about my pronouns and had some gendered slurs to call me too, so ups and downs

Subscribe? I'm more of a domscribe the way I make her 🥺 when she reads my letters 💌

Got catcalled by a (presumably) lesbian today, she called me a dyke, among other things Delightfully gender affirming, like, yes, you’re right! I think she took my surprise for offense because she came back over to apologize (still called me ma’am hehehehe)

I haven’t tried really feminine outfits in public, but I keep being explicitly gendered as a woman when I’m ~~trying less~~ mixing accessories w masc clothing… much to consider

Showed off my jacket to my friend (I wasn't wearing it, I just picked it up and showed). He told me "I don't know if you realise it has some features considered feminine in germany".

My dude you know I'm on E do you genuinely think this was an accident???

Bright side: I trust his fashion sense and he didn't tell me it looked dumb so that's a win.

(He hasn't changed how he treats me so I'm fine with him being kinda dumb about this stuff)

found out my landlord has been giving my info to the government for census without mentioning nor asking and i have no clue what questions she's answering for me (did she use my legal or chosen name, jot me down as cis or trans, man or woman, common law or single, and who fucking knows what else). actually quite stressed and frustrated abt this. i keep my relationship off paper cause i'm worried my social assistance would be cut or reduced. also just in general i would like to decide for myself what info i give the government i'm actually pissed :(

Mustered up the courage to read some of the trans fiction (it can’t all be history and theory ;() and fuck me. Shit is crushing, it’s really brutal to have an author put your exact thoughts on a page. It’s great to be spoken to via literature, but Christ it’s intense sometimes. Will still be reading

Get friends that will make a transphobe regret existing near you

got sir'd at work and i could feel the shadow cross my face. guy didn't mean anything by it (he's a real sweetheart) but still hurt. I'd thought I looked feminine today... my friend did say that no one would be calling me sir if I walked around without my jacket (the top i wore under it is snug, c/d cup booba on full display). And sure, yeah probably not but I wish that wasn't my one and only route to that. like if she wore a loose sweater everyone would still know she's a woman because of her hips and face and voice. shit sucks.

In one of my dreams last night I met a younger version of my mom in the past while I was wearing a dress. She was a restaurant hostess standing at one of their podiums/desks in front of a bunch of kids trying to get their tables settled. When she saw me she said I was beautiful and was only going to get more beautiful. I started crying and told her that her in the future didn't seem to feel that way, but she didn't seem to understand.

I've been getting into Medieval Fairs since transitioning. My outfit has been that of a Norse woman (transitioning the one cool trick that lets you get into Viking history without looking like a chud). But I've been thinking about how I'd like to wear a cool sword, because I'm a lesbian.

I've decided actually my persona is a trans lesbian (at least in modern parlance). She went to Constantinople and served in the Varangian guard. While there she met eunarch/trans women sex workers/courtesans and was like "wait you can just be a woman?", so she got an orchiectomy/castration from the surgeons, drank fermented pregnant mare's piss and sequestered herself for a year.

Now she's a bodyguard for Byzantine noblewomen, ostensibly a eunarch, but actually just a 6'1 trans lesbian.

Big shout out to trans mascs <333333

For anyone wondering, the image is from of the Devil, an interactive visual novel about a homicide defense lawyer in a cyberpunk future where every crime is caught on camera... except for the ones that aren't. It has very stylish graphics, great characterisation, and a 10/10 twist. Episode 0 is free of charge, lasts 3-4 hours, and wraps up its self-contained story with no cliffhangers, so you can get a nice little taster. It's a character-driven story with obvious Ace Attorney influences. I highly recommend it! https://store.steampowered.com/app/2739630/of_the_Devil

Up with trans!

I'm handing out free hugs

Been thinking about getting an extra vial for the girl I'm seeing when I get a new one. She hasn't had E for a little while and I want to help out. Just need to save up some money.

So I kinda knew my sister was a transphobe because she has pretty shit opinions in general but I still sucks to hear her explicitly say she doesn't like trans people

At least none of my family joined her in that

I have decided to pick up learning Spanish again. Used to be able to speak it quite well (around B1 fluency) but became too depressed to keep it up for nearly two years so I’ve forgot a lot of the Spanish I knew. It will probably be fairly easy to relearn it all given how far I got in my learning the first time around.

::: spoiler work

A person at work today said people like me and that they say I'm great, and I just about cried. I was able to stop it but god I just... Idk, I'm performing well in my job, I'm not alienating people(?!?! Is this true??? Part of me is screaming its all a lie, a neurotypical lie to make me feel safe before the do something to hurt me, but at the same time... Idk. I just, I'm trying to accept it, and not freak out or be paranoid that people dont like me, but its hard. Part of me says they're just saying that to be nice, that it isnt true... But I'm trying hard to not believe that). I just, I'm terrified that the world is working out in some kind of way. I can't get past it... I just. My life is supposed to be miserable, I'd resigned myself to basically being in poverty forever, and now there's a possibility I wont be??? Like... Am I going to be in a position where I can feed myself??? I'm not gonna make tons and tons here, but I'm gonna be not-drowning if this keeps up... Idk. I just. Its freaky and scary and I'm just not sure what to do or how to feel but its wonderful and I'm trying really hard to not let the anxiety and internalized stuff pull me into the darkness.

HOW CAN PEOPLE AT MY JOB LIKE ME!?!? I JUST WANT TO SCREAM AT THEM THAT THEYRE WRONG FOR LIKING ME AND SHOULD BE HYPERCRITICAL AND STRICT WITH ME BUT IM NOT IM NOT SCREAMING THAT BUT ITS INSIDE ME AND oh... I think I have some self worth issues I haven't addressed...

Went to go hang out with a friend who was having a rough time. Got distracted by a phone thing and when I turned back to her she was fast asleep in her chair. So cute.

Trans people, particularly trans women, need to be kinder to themselves.

Thoughts about trans representation in the novels I'm reading

When you refresh and the fic finally updated

Clothes shopping update:

1. Finding a good overcoat is hard
2. Why the fuck do 90% of them have false pockets?
3. Somehow, the "M" size of one brand fits me while "XL" on another almost rips
4. I found one! 15 euros! Good price. Makes me concerned for materials and build quality
5. It's brown, rough textured and got that false leather look going on plus internal polyester layer.
6. Casual but unquestionably femme.

It's gonna suck wearing in the summer (if I find something better I'm returning this item)

But for now, do I wear it for my (super late) birthday drink with my friend, or do I wear my falling apart coat that's lost its color? Have never girlmodded in front of someone I know before.

so i'm commissioning an artist to draw me and i just got the preliminary sketch and i am so over the moon with it as it is so far. i can't stop looking at it. i love being a cute lil' kitty thing i am the happiest ever 🥺

~~Up with trans!~~

Oops there's already an up with trans thread. This is what happens when I comment the minute I wake up.

I'm gonna do a bunch of self care today. Gonna make myself all pretty 'n stuff

Hm, I think I like this girl. Let's see how far we'll go.