1
449

Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

2
37
3
52

Y'all, this administration has proposed some stupid things, but this is breathtakingly stupid. Mullin wants to stop international flights and CBP staffing into Sanctuary Cities as a punishment to them. Except....that means no international flights to Newark, Chicago, LAX, JFK, Seattle, and more.

4
101

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/47433300

If Trump’s name is removed, a ‘vital fundraising connection will be severed,’ the center’s chief executive argued

A Trump-Kennedy Center official warned a federal judge that stripping the president’s name from the renowned arts institution would cause unbearable financial damage, marking the latest twist in a months-long legal battle.

Charles Matthew Floca, the center’s 39-year-old executive director, filed a declaration Tuesday in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia, arguing the institution’s funding is inextricably linked to President Donald Trump.

“President Trump’s fundraising on behalf of the Center is exemplified by the tens of millions of dollars already raised,” Floca wrote. “Further, the President has committed to raise $150 billion on its behalf from private donors over the next two years.”

5
100

6
226
7
38
8
30
9
188

Delaware Superior Court Judge Craig Karsnitz said the beach town of Fenwick Island was not diluting human votes by allowing companies ​and other legal entities that own property to cast votes in municipal elections.

The American Civil Liberties Union ​of Delaware sued the town, arguing it violated the elections clause of the state ⁠constitution. The group sought a court order blocking Fenwick Island from counting votes by "non-human artificial entities" in future elections.

The ​group said entities make up about 12% of registered voters in the town.

A lawyer for the organization did ​not immediately respond to a request for comment.

The town's mayor, Natalie Magdeburger, did not immediately respond to a request for comment but told Reuters in March that the city believes "a property owner who pays taxes and is subject to our ordinances should ​have a say in who represents them on our Town Council."

10
63
submitted 13 hours ago by sundray@lemmus.org to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

More importantly, though, Kevin Hart would like to remind you that none of this is his business (even if, in a strictly financial sense, it absolutely was his business).

11
42
submitted 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) by sundray@lemmus.org to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

Chung Yong-jin, the retail tycoon in charge of Starbucks Korea, apologized yesterday for a marketing campaign that made fun of a 1980 massacre of pro-democracy protestors. It was the executive's second apology in two weeks; he bowed three times during his televized statement.

🫢

12
124

When Rebecca Figueroa gave birth to her fourth child, her right leg was chained to the hospital bed so tightly that the shackle left cut marks on her skin, she said.

13
72
submitted 21 hours ago by beep@piefed.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
14
55
submitted 20 hours ago by beep@piefed.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
15
23
submitted 18 hours ago by beep@piefed.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
16
115

Joi AI is hiring 10 “masturbation consultants” to test its AI-guided masturbation feature and report how it affects stress, sleep, mood, and confidence.

17
24
submitted 23 hours ago by beep@piefed.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
18
144
19
326
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by sundray@lemmus.org to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

The mystery artist dressed in shorts and a white t-shirt moves quickly to write the message with a backwards E on hoardings in Shepherds Bush.

In the video taken from council CCTV, the man checks for local enforcement before cracking on with his major contribution to society.

Schoolkids are seen to stop and laugh as they see what he is spraying on the grey panels.

20
592
21
96
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by FTonsilStones@lemmy.ca to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

US health secretary gets nip from one of two serpents he grabbed at home of fellow Trump official Dr Oz

The post via XCancel

22
242
23
151
24
16
25
327
submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by FTonsilStones@lemmy.ca to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

In an age of AI, Pope looks for “artisans of hope.”

In sounding this call to both disarm and to build, Leo turns to “twentieth-century Catholic author” JRR Tolkien. Though he can’t quite bring himself to say that he’s quoting Gandalf from Lord of the Rings, that’s exactly what’s happening.

(The encyclical says only that the quote comes from “the words of a protagonist in one of [Tolkien’s] novels.” Though Pope Francis previously spoke of Tolkien’s work, this appears to be the first time that Tolkien has ever been quoted in the highest levels of the church’s official doctrinal publications.)

It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till.

view more: next ›

Not The Onion

21585 readers
1624 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS