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Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

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submitted 17 minutes ago by stermy4u@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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submitted 11 hours ago by sundray@lemmus.org to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

Not exactly John Wick, but still...

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She felt uncomfortable telling Nègre that she wanted return to the office to use the toilet, so told him she was cold as an excuse to go back to the building. But she says he walked away, guiding them towards the banks of the River Seine, so she told him she needed to find a toilet urgently.

"He looked me right in the eye and said, 'Oh, do you need a wee?'

"I felt like a child. I thought it was really weird the way he looked at me, almost gleeful."

She says he directed her to the door of a storage cupboard under a bridge on the Seine and said: "You can do it here."

Now, Anaïs is one of nearly 250 women who believe Nègre drugged them in alleged incidents between 2009 and 2018, subjecting them to what is known as chemical submission, where drugs are used to gain control over someone.

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I mean, I guess "impeccable safety record" is in the eye of the beholder?

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Safer for pedestrians, in the nihilistic sense that they at least won't survive the hit I guess?

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submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by RaoulDuke25@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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US president credits himself with lowest drug prices in 60 years, when article says drop is more likely due to Biden

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submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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Imagine jamming and vibing when all of a sudden some goon hops up on stage and displays a golden tidal wave at the front row.

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cross-posted from: https://piefed.ca/c/technology@lemmy.world/p/902391/pet-owners-say-smart-pet-feeder-outage-led-to-furry-ones-going-unfed

This feels like bad design

Smart pet-feeder company Petlibro suffered an outage on Tuesday, giving users a harsh reminder of the risks of relying on smart devices.

Petlibro makes pet feeders that connect to Wi-Fi and, for setup with Petlibro’s mobile companion app, Bluetooth. Users can set the feeders to automatically dispense food at scheduled times, which is handy for pet care when the owner is out of the home.

In a statement to The Verge, Petlibro CEO York Wu said this week’s outage was “related to how the Petlibro app communicates with devices through its online servers.”

Some user reports have also conflicted with Petlibro’s claims about offline functionality. As The Verge pointed out, various users online claimed that during the outage, their devices did not perform any scheduled feedings, performed some feedings but not others, or performed feedings late (examples here, here, here, here, and here).

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/50669045

Well this is beyond absurd.

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Not The Onion

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