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Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

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cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/64519913

Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s staff cut off a USA Today interview question about the grossest food he has ever eaten, moments after he admitted eating "stuff I find on the street."

"…I will literally eat anything… I don't have a gag reflex," Robert F. Kennedy Jr. told Chambers. "When I travel, I'll eat, you know, even stuff I find on the street, you know, street vendors, cooking."

"Like, is there stuff that you've eaten that people are like, wow. You ate that," Chambers asked.

"You mean, like, something gross? Or?" Robert F. Kennedy Jr. replied.

"Yes. Maybe gross for others. Yeah. Not for you," Chambers said.

"I'm getting a signal not to answer that question," Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said, shutting down the line of questioning.

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cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/41109191

cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/41109146

The ride-hailing giant promised to handle legal claims “in a way that is best for the survivor.” Its lawyers are pursuing a far more aggressive strategy.

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submitted 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) by SwissArmyKazoo@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

26 year old director of a stage tour of "Rocky Horror" been taken in captivity and is currently under oaf for faking death threats against himself to prevent any pre existing behind the scenes drama with the cast.

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submitted 2 days ago by green_goglin to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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The threat arrives in plain language. “Failure to comply could jeopardize eligibility for state educational scholarship programs,” Uthmeier wrote, aiming at the funding stream that carried roughly 88 percent of Florida’s more than 94,000 Catholic school students last year. He gave the bishops until August 7 to respond — ten days before most Florida schools open for the new year.

Within hours, the attorney general announced the letter on X. “Ironically, they won’t offer religious exemptions as prescribed by state law,” he wrote. “This is troubling and may disqualify them from state scholarships and vouchers.”

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submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by gedaliyah@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) by the_mighty_kracken@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

Real senator, or wax figurine?

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/50111532

Robert F. Kennedy to host cooking show with focus on inexpensive meals

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Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy announced Tuesday that his department would redirect $1.73 billion in Biden-era grants away from establishing “DEI bike lanes” to build roads and bridges instead.

Upon hearing “equity,” President Donald Trump’s goons can’t help but get triggered into attacking any federal spending that won’t benefit them directly. In reality, those Biden-era grants directed funds to build a new transit center in North Carolina, replace bridges in New Mexico, extend streets in New Hampshire, install traffic lights and crosswalks in Missouri, and install bike lanes in Seattle, among other projects. Now the financial status of these projects is unclear.

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submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by Aatube@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

Who’s underemployed now?

headline from official webpage title. print headline is "The Revenge of the Philosophy Majors"

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Not The Onion

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Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

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  2. ...credible sources, with...
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