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Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

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She felt uncomfortable telling Nègre that she wanted return to the office to use the toilet, so told him she was cold as an excuse to go back to the building. But she says he walked away, guiding them towards the banks of the River Seine, so she told him she needed to find a toilet urgently.

"He looked me right in the eye and said, 'Oh, do you need a wee?'

"I felt like a child. I thought it was really weird the way he looked at me, almost gleeful."

She says he directed her to the door of a storage cupboard under a bridge on the Seine and said: "You can do it here."

Now, Anaïs is one of nearly 250 women who believe Nègre drugged them in alleged incidents between 2009 and 2018, subjecting them to what is known as chemical submission, where drugs are used to gain control over someone.

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I mean, I guess "impeccable safety record" is in the eye of the beholder?

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Safer for pedestrians, in the nihilistic sense that they at least won't survive the hit I guess?

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submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by RaoulDuke25@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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US president credits himself with lowest drug prices in 60 years, when article says drop is more likely due to Biden

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Imagine jamming and vibing when all of a sudden some goon hops up on stage and displays a golden tidal wave at the front row.

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submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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cross-posted from: https://piefed.ca/c/technology@lemmy.world/p/902391/pet-owners-say-smart-pet-feeder-outage-led-to-furry-ones-going-unfed

This feels like bad design

Smart pet-feeder company Petlibro suffered an outage on Tuesday, giving users a harsh reminder of the risks of relying on smart devices.

Petlibro makes pet feeders that connect to Wi-Fi and, for setup with Petlibro’s mobile companion app, Bluetooth. Users can set the feeders to automatically dispense food at scheduled times, which is handy for pet care when the owner is out of the home.

In a statement to The Verge, Petlibro CEO York Wu said this week’s outage was “related to how the Petlibro app communicates with devices through its online servers.”

Some user reports have also conflicted with Petlibro’s claims about offline functionality. As The Verge pointed out, various users online claimed that during the outage, their devices did not perform any scheduled feedings, performed some feedings but not others, or performed feedings late (examples here, here, here, here, and here).

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/50669045

Well this is beyond absurd.

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Imagine jamming and vibing when all of a sudden some goon hops up on stage and displays a golden tidal wave at the front row.

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Who wants to fuck with Elon Musk? (www.cardsagainsthumanity.com)

Today, we’re announcing the Official Elon Musk is a Sad Little Bitch with No Friends Monument Design CommitteeFor just $10, you can join a movement of like-minded people working together to force a moment of introspection upon the world’s richest, ugliest little bitch.

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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

The ridiculously complex Campaign for North Africa boasts 1,500 hours and recommends you play with 10 people - these gamers aim to finish it with two.

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Tl;dr: 75-yo old woman attacks the employees over a sandwich, rips hair from one of them, put that hair in her purse, calls the police and dies.

At that point, two other employees intervened, and as they were pulled apart, a “chunk of hair” was pulled from the shift lead’s head, “leaving a raw area.”

Once separated, the employees got behind the counter and Grayson sat down, taking a phone call. She was seen picking up the shift lead’s hair and putting it in her bag, police said.

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The administration argues that relying on imported metals could reduce demand for American-made materials, leaving the US with less domestic production and fewer critical supplies in the event of a national emergency.

And because brass instruments are made mostly from copper and zinc, they have been swept into the same net as fire extinguishers, floor safes, electrical cables, welding-machine parts, and tanker trailers.

🤯

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Not The Onion

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We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

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