1
453

Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

2
2

Nietzsche was right.

3
155
4
29
5
560
submitted 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) by the_mighty_kracken@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

Real senator, or wax figurine?

6
107

A mysterious wave of severe tics swept through teenagers worldwide, baffling neurologists until investigators uncovered a digital culprit reshaping adolescent behavior in real time.

7
66
8
420
9
175
10
505
11
121
submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by CombatWombat@feddit.online to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

A team of scientists uploaded videos of the squirrel-like rodents in the wild on the adult-content site OnlyFans to raise money amid government budget cuts.

12
223
submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by Zaelaa@lemmy.zip to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

In May 2025, Department of Energy (“DOE”) Secretary Chris Wright executed a policy memorandum titled “Ensuring Responsibility for Financial Assistance” that, among other things, established a Portfolio Review Process (PRP).

With one exception, the 284 terminated grants had a recipient location and/or at least one place of performance in a state that awarded its electoral votes to Kamala Harris in the 2024 election and has two Democratic-caucusing Senators (“Blue State” grants)

DOE accepts that the inclusion of grants in the October notice tranche was based solely on the political identity of the grant recipient’s state, i.e., whether the recipient’s location and/or place of performance was in a Blue State or a non-Blue State.

https://storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.uscourts.cand.450653/gov.uscourts.cand.450653.211.6.pdf

13
174
14
42
15
184
16
154
17
285
18
180
19
57

The jokes write themselves, don't they?

20
171
submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) by Wurzl@lemmy.zip to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
21
90

A judge at Galway Circuit Court has apologised to a victim of domestic violence for what he called "this stupid and ridiculous legal system".

Judge Brian O'Callaghan was speaking at the adjournment of a sentencing hearing due to the ongoing legal aid fees dispute.

He said no dispute should warrant the deferral of cases like this.

22
39
23
35
24
588
25
186
view more: next ›

Not The Onion

22075 readers
1694 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS