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Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

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submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by CombatWombat@feddit.online to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

A team of scientists uploaded videos of the squirrel-like rodents in the wild on the adult-content site OnlyFans to raise money amid government budget cuts.

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submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by Zaelaa@lemmy.zip to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

In May 2025, Department of Energy (“DOE”) Secretary Chris Wright executed a policy memorandum titled “Ensuring Responsibility for Financial Assistance” that, among other things, established a Portfolio Review Process (PRP).

With one exception, the 284 terminated grants had a recipient location and/or at least one place of performance in a state that awarded its electoral votes to Kamala Harris in the 2024 election and has two Democratic-caucusing Senators (“Blue State” grants)

DOE accepts that the inclusion of grants in the October notice tranche was based solely on the political identity of the grant recipient’s state, i.e., whether the recipient’s location and/or place of performance was in a Blue State or a non-Blue State.

https://storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.uscourts.cand.450653/gov.uscourts.cand.450653.211.6.pdf

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The jokes write themselves, don't they?

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submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by Wurzl@lemmy.zip to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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A judge at Galway Circuit Court has apologised to a victim of domestic violence for what he called "this stupid and ridiculous legal system".

Judge Brian O'Callaghan was speaking at the adjournment of a sentencing hearing due to the ongoing legal aid fees dispute.

He said no dispute should warrant the deferral of cases like this.

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submitted 6 days ago by Wurzl@lemmy.zip to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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submitted 1 week ago by Wurzl@lemmy.zip to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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A small recompense for decades of jokes at Mexico's expense, eh?

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Not The Onion

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Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

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  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
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