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Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

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cross-posted from: https://infosec.pub/post/47489741

GEO Group’s stock has risen 25% in one month, after their first quarter results. Let me translate this corporate speech:

“New growth opportunities” aka ICE is kidnapping immigrants at a record pace and we need to open new concentration camps to hold all of those people. 70.8% of current detainees have no criminal convictions.

“Last year was the most successful period for new business wins in our Company’s history with new or expanded contracts representing up to $520 million in annualized revenues. We expect 2026 to be very active as well.” The taxpayers are giving us half a billion dollars a year to hold people in inhumane conditions and we expect the kidnappings to continue unabated in 2026!

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cross-posted from: https://news.abolish.capital/post/54243

Walking through the savanna-woodland landscape of Boé National Park, Guinea-Bissau, you might encounter a tree covered in gnarled scars, with an accumulation of rocks surrounding its base.


From Biology News - Evolution, Cell theory, Gene theory, Microbiology, Biotechnology via This RSS Feed.

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cross-posted from: https://hilariouschaos.com/post/11288911

Author: Unknown
Published on: 03/06/2026 | 00:00:00

AI Summary:
Tibetan spiritual leader Tenzin Gyatso received his first Grammy award for his spoken-word album. The award was presented by Indian classical music maestro Ustad Amjad Ali Khan.

Original: 36 words
Summary: 27 words
Percent reduction: 25.00%

I'm a bot and I'm open source

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Department of Public Works employee Eric Batman claims that having to see a Progress Pride flag flying outside the department’s Alhambra, California, headquarters during the month of June effectively forces him to “celebrate, recognize, and solemnize conduct and actions that he views as sin” in conflict with his sincerely held Christian religious beliefs, according to a lawsuit filed in March by anti-LGBTQ+ evangelical nonprofit the Liberty Counsel.

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Not The Onion

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Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

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Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
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