1
453

Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

2
25
3
264
submitted 15 hours ago by slothrop@lemmy.ca to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
4
331
submitted 20 hours ago by sundray@lemmus.org to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
5
382
6
179
7
168
8
691
submitted 1 day ago by green_goglin to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
9
234
10
185

The threat arrives in plain language. “Failure to comply could jeopardize eligibility for state educational scholarship programs,” Uthmeier wrote, aiming at the funding stream that carried roughly 88 percent of Florida’s more than 94,000 Catholic school students last year. He gave the bishops until August 7 to respond — ten days before most Florida schools open for the new year.

Within hours, the attorney general announced the letter on X. “Ironically, they won’t offer religious exemptions as prescribed by state law,” he wrote. “This is troubling and may disqualify them from state scholarships and vouchers.”

11
387
12
485
submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by gedaliyah@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
13
102

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/50111532

Robert F. Kennedy to host cooking show with focus on inexpensive meals

14
997
submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by the_mighty_kracken@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

Real senator, or wax figurine?

15
198

Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy announced Tuesday that his department would redirect $1.73 billion in Biden-era grants away from establishing “DEI bike lanes” to build roads and bridges instead.

Upon hearing “equity,” President Donald Trump’s goons can’t help but get triggered into attacking any federal spending that won’t benefit them directly. In reality, those Biden-era grants directed funds to build a new transit center in North Carolina, replace bridges in New Mexico, extend streets in New Hampshire, install traffic lights and crosswalks in Missouri, and install bike lanes in Seattle, among other projects. Now the financial status of these projects is unclear.

16
62
submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by Aatube@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

Who’s underemployed now?

headline from official webpage title. print headline is "The Revenge of the Philosophy Majors"

17
102
18
340
19
139
20
440
21
147

A mysterious wave of severe tics swept through teenagers worldwide, baffling neurologists until investigators uncovered a digital culprit reshaping adolescent behavior in real time.

22
520
23
97
24
193
25
40
view more: next ›

Not The Onion

22124 readers
1746 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS