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Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

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Prompted by an Iranian assassination threat, Donald Trump departed on a secret military flight in an extraordinary ruse that involved hiding the president in an airport catering cart, according to reporting from the Washington Post and the New York Times.

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submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by slaacaa@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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You can't tell me what to do!

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submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by Technoworcester@feddit.uk to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

Power cable linking UK and Ireland now passes near Bronze Age human burial remains instead of fictional grave on Welsh beach

Update: further information by @BigDiction@lemmy.world in the comments below

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According to an affidavit written by a DPS special agent, Ozment allegedly called the Governor’s Office on the afternoon of July 25. DPS claims Ozment left the following voicemail (KXAN has redacted the profanity in the transcript provided by DPS):

“I don’t know which one of you sons of b—-es passed this motherf—ing bill to get this damn s— blocking my motherf—ing anime, but you whole a– motherf—ers need to unpass this s—. Y’all are f—ing ridiculous with your b—- a–es. My Google account says I’m f—ing over the age of 18, and your dumba– is passing these dumba– laws. I’m a f—ing stab every godd— one of you b—-es. Unlock my f—ing anime.”

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A California woman who was sentenced to 11 years in prison in 2004 pleaded guilty this week in another stabbing death.

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cross-posted from: https://lemdro.id/post/44002306

FIFA president Gianni Infantino is offering Morocco the rights to host the 2030 World Cup final in exchange for supporting his reelection as FIFA president, according to The Times, extending the proposal as he faces calls to resign following a controversial plan to sell stakes in the World Cup.

Infantino wants a formal statement of support from Morocco, The Times reported, noting Saudi Arabia, which is typically one of his biggest supporters, has yet to endorse him.

Infantino ordered key staff to an emergency meeting in Morocco this week “to try to rescue his presidency,” according to The Times, with unnamed sources telling the outlet Infantino has promised the World Cup final will be hosted at the 115,000-seat Hassan II, an under-construction stadium in Casablanca, Morocco.

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cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/41109191

cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/41109146

The ride-hailing giant promised to handle legal claims “in a way that is best for the survivor.” Its lawyers are pursuing a far more aggressive strategy.

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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by SwissArmyKazoo@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

26 year old director of a stage tour of "Rocky Horror" been taken in captivity and is currently under oaf for faking death threats against himself to prevent any pre existing behind the scenes drama with the cast.

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Not The Onion

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Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

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Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
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