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Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

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I mean, I guess "impeccable safety record" is in the eye of the beholder?

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Safer for pedestrians, in the nihilistic sense that they at least won't survive the hit I guess?

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submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by RaoulDuke25@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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US president credits himself with lowest drug prices in 60 years, when article says drop is more likely due to Biden

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Imagine jamming and vibing when all of a sudden some goon hops up on stage and displays a golden tidal wave at the front row.

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cross-posted from: https://piefed.ca/c/technology@lemmy.world/p/902391/pet-owners-say-smart-pet-feeder-outage-led-to-furry-ones-going-unfed

This feels like bad design

Smart pet-feeder company Petlibro suffered an outage on Tuesday, giving users a harsh reminder of the risks of relying on smart devices.

Petlibro makes pet feeders that connect to Wi-Fi and, for setup with Petlibro’s mobile companion app, Bluetooth. Users can set the feeders to automatically dispense food at scheduled times, which is handy for pet care when the owner is out of the home.

In a statement to The Verge, Petlibro CEO York Wu said this week’s outage was “related to how the Petlibro app communicates with devices through its online servers.”

Some user reports have also conflicted with Petlibro’s claims about offline functionality. As The Verge pointed out, various users online claimed that during the outage, their devices did not perform any scheduled feedings, performed some feedings but not others, or performed feedings late (examples here, here, here, here, and here).

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submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/50669045

Well this is beyond absurd.

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Imagine jamming and vibing when all of a sudden some goon hops up on stage and displays a golden tidal wave at the front row.

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Who wants to fuck with Elon Musk? (www.cardsagainsthumanity.com)

Today, we’re announcing the Official Elon Musk is a Sad Little Bitch with No Friends Monument Design CommitteeFor just $10, you can join a movement of like-minded people working together to force a moment of introspection upon the world’s richest, ugliest little bitch.

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The administration argues that relying on imported metals could reduce demand for American-made materials, leaving the US with less domestic production and fewer critical supplies in the event of a national emergency.

And because brass instruments are made mostly from copper and zinc, they have been swept into the same net as fire extinguishers, floor safes, electrical cables, welding-machine parts, and tanker trailers.

🤯

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Tl;dr: 75-yo old woman attacks the employees over a sandwich, rips hair from one of them, put that hair in her purse, calls the police and dies.

At that point, two other employees intervened, and as they were pulled apart, a “chunk of hair” was pulled from the shift lead’s head, “leaving a raw area.”

Once separated, the employees got behind the counter and Grayson sat down, taking a phone call. She was seen picking up the shift lead’s hair and putting it in her bag, police said.

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submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) by technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

The ridiculously complex Campaign for North Africa boasts 1,500 hours and recommends you play with 10 people - these gamers aim to finish it with two.

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In a news conference loaded with “Back to the Future” and “The Jetsons” references, Gov. Ron DeSantis announced Monday that Florida would become a national hub for testing ultralight electric aircraft, generally considered the next frontier of electric vehicles.

Although many people call them “flying cars,” without wheels or landing gear, they’re more like human-sized drones that can take off or land without a runway. The industry refers to them as electric vertical takeoff and landing aircraft, or eVTOLs.

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Not The Onion

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We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

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