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Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

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submitted 3 hours ago by Beep@lemmus.org to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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In comments to NBC News, US presidents also deflates hope of deal with Tehran, saying ‘terms aren’t good enough’

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submitted 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) by Gsus4@mander.xyz to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

Sounds like he's just the man for the job! And the timing would be great too!

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A condo just sold in Palo Alto, California for $5.3 million dollars. The top floor is a separate condo and not included but it's selling for $4.9 million.

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submitted 21 hours ago by slothrop@lemmy.ca to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by Valnao@sh.itjust.works to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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All of this—doling out relatively cheap dress shoes to a group of people disproportionately populated by billionaires, signing the boxes, inspiring fear of reprisal for wearing your own wingtips instead—is strange enough. Stranger still, though, is that the shoes (in some cases, very obviously) do not fit.

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Press photographers were reportedly barred from Pentagon press briefings after Pete Hegseth‘s staff became irked over unflattering photos of the defense secretary. The office of the notoriously vain Cabinet member — a former Fox News host who had a hair and makeup studio built in the Pentagon shortly after being confirmed — should probably have more important things on his mind, chiefly the war in Iran, and, perhaps, the elementary school there that the United States appears to have bombed.

According to a Wednesday report from The Washington Post, press pool photographers were banned from briefings on March 4 and March 10 after taking and publishing what sources described as “unflattering” images of Hegseth. The Post noted that the White House had declined to comment on the decision to exclude the photographers. The White House took exception, with Deputy Press Secretary Anna Kelly sharing an email reply to the publication with an off-topic quip over the newspaper’s recent layoff of more than 300 journalists, but no actual response to the Post’s question about the concern over Hegseth’s image.

The National Press Club responded on Wednesday, with President Mark Schoeff Jr. writing that the Pentagon’s decision “is deeply troubling and runs counter to the fundamental principles of transparency in a democratic society,” adding that “when the government decides which images the public is allowed to see, transparency is replaced by control.” PEN America also responded, calling the decision to bar photographers a “petty act of retaliation.”

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submitted 2 days ago by Beep@lemmus.org to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/44398300

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.zip/post/60568257

Migration minister Mike Tapp failed a UK citizenship test question before insisting he is a "proud Brit." Speaking at a parliamentary committee on settlement, citizenship, and integration on Tuesday, 10 March, the Labour MP for Dover and Deal admitted he did not know the height of the London Eye - one of the questions in the official UK citizenship test. "I am confident that I would be able to pass the test, I'm a proud Brit," he added, but promised to "take a keen interest" in knowing the answer "when it comes up again" in the same meeting next year. Chair of the committee, Lord Don Foster, said he will "follow up" on Mr Tapp's word.

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submitted 2 days ago by Beep@lemmus.org to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@piefed.social to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

Conservatives are obsessed with fascism.

Martinez told Prokopas he planned to report the incident to the Miccosukee Police Department because the detention center sits on tribal land.

Later that day, he returned to the facility after Miccosukee police told him the matter was outside their jurisdiction.

“He told me to keep the patch. I told him ‘no, it’s okay,’” Prokopas said. “He insisted and said he had plenty.”

When Martinez returned, she said, he was wearing another of the same patch on his shoulder.

...

“I was paying attention to everything, and I noticed it,” he said, noting that guards sometimes removed and reattached the patches. “They had it attached to their shoulder. They had more than one type, but the one that impacted me the most was that one… It made me feel like I was bound to die.”

also see https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/immigration/article315002505.html

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submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

“Erika Kirk will continue his legacy, and will be a fearless advocate for the most elite airpower force in the history of the world whose warriors keep our nation safe, strong and free.”

Do you think Erika Kirk could even describe to you how airplanes fly with a basic grade school explanation?

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Not The Onion

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