Ive met a lot of patients who tell me they didn't sleep at all, and I was there all night. They did appear to sleep much more than they actually did - and aside from that, even just resting eyes closed (racing thoughts or no) still counts as at least half sleep. Ive also had the occasional night of no or poor sleep, woke up feeling drunk and still had to work ugh

Obviously, though, this level of anxiety is not tenable for you and you do have to do something about this. You reported similar all last year about your stress level. Like, medication, whatever change you need to make, you can't continue on like this. You said more or less the same 6 or 8 months ago and that it was only "for now" and yet... anyway, you are worthy of being healthy, rested, happy, loved, and not a ball of constant anxiety.

My apartment is finally cool~ and the weather outside is finally cooled off

I can open my windows all day, no more blinds, no more hot cave 🥰

I do think the 2010s was a harsh lesson that art or mass media and social media might be able to diagnose and critique issues, maybe even suggest revolutionary action or hold the viewers hand all the way to thinking what they ought to do - but fall short of actually changing anything.

I liked Digger, I guess I can see the reading that its about the uselessness of cinema/art that satirizes the rich and powerful? Its a little surprising that that seems to be the main big reading.

Tomato soup base, rigatoni, vegan meatballs, basil, mirapoix base, probably some other stuff. Its very yummy!

But if someone wants to identify as a new category thats man-like but low T or castrated man or malen, I wouldnt take it away from them either.

I met a guy who didnt want to be a man but identified as a boy. He was very confident he was not non binary nor a woman nor anything else. Man to him came with too many stakes or too much baggage, or maybe twink death hit him hard decades ago?? I dunno. At the time I thought it was off, personally, I'd be open to hearing more but at the time it made me think of the MAP 4chan thing - this must have been 2018 or so. But he did seem sincere as identifying his gender as "boy"

I think in our social context, broadly western - so apologies if that's not you, most post menopausal women would be a bit offended if one suggested theyre no longer Women (capital W) just because they can't reproduce anymore. I can see the archeology there that sex is way more than just a binary so there could be categories like post menopausal woman (femalen) that exist. But I certainly wouldn't call anyone else that unless they self ID'd as it. The anxiety around low T and demasculinzation to me reads more like patriarchy than anxiety around category confusion (i.e. as if theyre not really Men but some different sex or gender category and that comes with too much baggage in transphobic patriarchal society) - if anything, they are just bog standard men who want to be men hence the fear of losing that because, dubiously, of low T.

I had a girl over, Ive seen her a few times for dates and stuff. She brought soup! We played cod zombies, she'd never done it. She turned to me with complete sincerity and asked "how do I do a headshot" and with all my might I stifled my laughter and said "you shoot them in the head"

It sounds very panic attacky certainly! You said it wasnt but honestly that sounds like a poetic description of a panic attack. You know you best, but a panic attack definitely doesnt have to be triggered by something scary or shocking - Ive had some come literally out of nowhere (well... I had had a lot of caffeine lol)

Ive never had that or heard of it otherwise. When Ive been very clinically depressed before I took Effexor, for me it was more like lethargic and having a hard time switching tasks. Ive definitely felt hopeless or felt despair, but I wouldnt have described it the way you wrote just now.

I went with an hour with lessons and 30 minutes to an hour of practice a day. Which was a lot, 30 minutes wasnt so bad and I could squeeze it in. Doing the straw phonation thing definitely helped the most if I somehow didnt have time at all for anything.

The lizards in charge of my buildings boiler (we dont have thermostats in the suites) turned on the boiler when it was finally dipping to 9° C, and then there was another mini blast of summer where it was peaking 26° C. I think it would be reasonable to wear a jacket or removable sweater outside, perhaps a blanket inside, but they decided that actually we needed full blast heat. Luckily I found my secret shut off valve, nyaha haaaa.... I can finally enjoy the chill.

Years ago, I lived with a roommate elsewhere and it was during a big heat dome. I went to my moms to escape the heat in a different city for a week, I couldnt deal with 40° C in the day and 30° C at night (no A/C, we have never needed it). I came back and my roommate had the heat on maxed out at 36°, so the boiler had been on. She was walking around in a bra and shorts. I never asked her what was up with that, it was mere silent acknowledgement...