spoiler
I mean realistically you dont want to doxx yourself but also dont want to make irl connections at places where LGBT people meet for hookups so basically you just wanna cruise - so I dunno, a bath house type place, a gay bar, I dont know what you think "looking queer enough" is and you should probably interrogate what you think you mean by that.
I think right now you should focus on, like, self esteem? I get feeling horny and everything but the negative self talk and apprehension about doing things online or offline seem like theyre whats getting more in your way than just feeling horny.
Anyway, I used Taimi and there was a sapphic one (it had trans men and enbies in it as well). Ive never had much action off apps, Ive had more just meeting people or at munches or friends of friends. Thats longer term than what you were thinking anyway... Apparently people on hexbear have success from sliding into DMs, I couldnt imagine something worse but its worked for them.
I have no idea what the online cruising anonymous site is besides, honestly, craigslist is still out there
