[–] 2 points 2 hours ago

spoilerI mean realistically you dont want to doxx yourself but also dont want to make irl connections at places where LGBT people meet for hookups so basically you just wanna cruise - so I dunno, a bath house type place, a gay bar, I dont know what you think "looking queer enough" is and you should probably interrogate what you think you mean by that.

I think right now you should focus on, like, self esteem? I get feeling horny and everything but the negative self talk and apprehension about doing things online or offline seem like theyre whats getting more in your way than just feeling horny.

Anyway, I used Taimi and there was a sapphic one (it had trans men and enbies in it as well). Ive never had much action off apps, Ive had more just meeting people or at munches or friends of friends. Thats longer term than what you were thinking anyway... Apparently people on hexbear have success from sliding into DMs, I couldnt imagine something worse but its worked for them.

I have no idea what the online cruising anonymous site is besides, honestly, craigslist is still out there

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  • [–] 21 points 1 day ago (6 children)

    Theres this one bar in town that does vegan pub fare, they dont advertise theyre vegan, its actually not even listed that theyre vegan on the menu but like as youre reading it you realize... none of these have meat or animal products (they have like vegan chicken wings or veggie burgers or vegan mozza sticks). Anyway, I really like it and I wanna eat their food tonight but its so far away...

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  • [–] 3 points 5 days ago (1 child)

    Its in some trans lit stories like Detransition, Baby and Nevada but definitely not a story we tell the cis much - or at least one they don't hear as much anyway.

    When I was in uni, I always ranted about the life-affirming narrative that was always forced in any kind of lit or play or whatever. Life is so much more cruel and random and disappointing for everyone to always come out the other end happy. Now that Im older Ive become less cynical despite all the shit Ive been through lol

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  • [–] 5 points 1 week ago (1 child)

    I think my first 6 months after I broke up with my ex (wed been together for 11 years), I dreamt of them every night and we were always still together, and they were boring dreams of our daily life. Nothing cool or like metaphorical. I still felt so connected to them more or less for 3 years. Its not nearly as bad anymore and I still get dreams about them every once in a while, but I also go months without thinking about them. It all takes time.

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  • [–] 10 points 1 week ago (1 child)

    I consider myself trans, and I dont think its a bad thing to outrun or a "permanent mark on my existence" or a "permanent scar" 😌 - and I pass the vast majority of the time, I had the surgeries and years of HRT, I accidently stealth now at work (sometimes it doesnt come up so Ive had coworkers whove known me for years and didnt know I was trans lol).

    I like being trans! I would like being a trans (in small letters) woman if I can describe it like that, like its just another part of me. Im a nurse, I went to my alma mater, Im from where Im from, I like nerdy ttrpgs, Im a transgender woman, I like dogs and babies, I can kinda speak french with a horrible mostly Anglo tiny slice parisienne accent, etc.

    Anyway, trans just means the doctors and your parents fucked up when they gendered you as a baby and it took longer for you to figure it out yourself.

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