You should do more things that make you feel connected to feminity then! Maybe that'll feel better and less like youre a "larper"
I know plenty of cis and trans women that are dudebro coded, but if you dont want to be. Dont! Experiment with some stuff and see how you feel. You seem to have a good understanding of feminity so pick things that seem feminine coded to you.
You know whats been the shittiest is the transbians I used to hook up with who have told me they dont wanna hook up anymore after I had bottom surgery and now have a vagina. One or two, hey no accounting for taste. Three, wtf transbians
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I know its difficult for you, but you are going to have to train. I also know others have said your voice is quite nice as is, I dont know but I think Ill take their opinion over yours because it is quite muddled by dysphoria - regardless that means you have a very good starting point. You are just going to have to train if you want to feel better about your voice, it will probably make you feel bad because it is uncomfortable and it means focusing on a part of yourself you feel intense dysphoria about. Theres no pill for it, there is a surgery - but even the surgery for it requires some training. You've tried the technique of training a bit but stopping when you feel too uncomfortable, has that got you closer to your goals? Are you happier for it? If not, time to try something new and time to get uncomfortable (to put it lightly) and voice train. You have to start, eggnog.
The treatment for gender dysphoria is transition. You have to start transitioning socially, publically, or else it will contribute to you feeling depressed. You've tried going slowly and quite sporadically in girl mode for a year now, if you're not happy with where you are then Im going to suggest you start transitioning socially and see if thats better. You're in what is presumably a better more accepting place, now. It is time.
I know you moved and are looking for work - that part is hard, all your previous irl social life got changed and obviously money troubles suck. I think if you make a good effort to meet in real life with people you will feel better. Seek a trans support group locally, meet with them, make some friends who have a better idea what you're going through - and start going to places en femme (bring a change of clothes in a back pack if you have to). The alternative is doing what youve been doing and you've been very explicit that the status quo is not working for you and youve felt miserable. It is time, now, to start changing that.
FUCK DOWNTIME AND BEING DOUBLED
Damn this is so much paperwork 😭😭
https://xcancel.com/The_Hellenist/status/2097490170329321679#m
Amazing. This guy has so much anti semetism on his page and then randomly... "women should play tambourine"
Damn, Im having a great time :/
Work has been frustrating but everything else is great! I booked the fun spooky local mega haunted house tickets in my city for October.
Its not a big deal
Happy kirkmas eve to all who celebrate
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I mean realistically you dont want to doxx yourself but also dont want to make irl connections at places where LGBT people meet for hookups so basically you just wanna cruise - so I dunno, a bath house type place, a gay bar, I dont know what you think "looking queer enough" is and you should probably interrogate what you think you mean by that.
I think right now you should focus on, like, self esteem? I get feeling horny and everything but the negative self talk and apprehension about doing things online or offline seem like theyre whats getting more in your way than just feeling horny.
Anyway, I used Taimi and there was a sapphic one (it had trans men and enbies in it as well). Ive never had much action off apps, Ive had more just meeting people or at munches or friends of friends. Thats longer term than what you were thinking anyway... Apparently people on hexbear have success from sliding into DMs, I couldnt imagine something worse but its worked for them.
I have no idea what the online cruising anonymous site is besides, honestly, craigslist is still out there
Theres this one bar in town that does vegan pub fare, they dont advertise theyre vegan, its actually not even listed that theyre vegan on the menu but like as youre reading it you realize... none of these have meat or animal products (they have like vegan chicken wings or veggie burgers or vegan mozza sticks). Anyway, I really like it and I wanna eat their food tonight but its so far away...
Ive had this idea for gamer girl bathwater energy drink for a while and perhaps now the market is ready for it
