Maybe you gotta work on some self esteem and self love too ♡

I work inpatient onc casually and it sucks ass, there were nights I was 1:10 just me and charge with a floor census of 20. I also still do inpatient adult trauma and its "team" nursing but I was usually the only person on my team, so 1:8 was the typical (I doubt I need to say it but in both cases normal is 1:4 and surge is 1:5). I thought critical care peds would be better, and while I have literally fewer patients it still sucks asa lol. The idea of never dealing with anyone inpatient again is very very appealing. NP school in Canada has a minimum hour requirement, its not like the states where theres RNs who go straight from BScN to MScN with no actual clinical hours - and its half practicum and half advanced pathopharm etc here not just pure school work. I meet the minimum clinical practice hours now but theres not really anywhere I feel comfortable taking on a role like PA yet, except maybe inpatient general peds which I did for a couple years. The idea of just prescribing botox and filler or a bolus for rich people is appealing though lol

The hope used to be NP in a gender clinic but I dont have any psych experience soooo

All that shit is, as you said, in your head

It'd be injecting like lip filler and botox if that gives you a better idea

I should just sell out and do RN rejuvaderm injections, go to NP school and become a prescriber

I told a story about how in my first year I got so black out drunk I lost my pants and didnt know where they were. Now, Ive told this story before and its funny - but now I pass and it was with company that didnt know I used to be a man... so it sounds way less funny 😬

Fuck this fucking day at work ughhhhh

Its so clarifying to have to go in and help people and kids with like actual intense shit, like kid with a heart thats not working and the parents are sobbing because this is supposed to have been a quick diagnostic heart cath and then their baby is on ECMO. It makes everything else kinda fade into the background.

But fuck I hate being siloed off into the corner and no one can check meds with me or help with weights or movement, Im just on some island and I know what I have to do but I just cant because if some beuarocratic shit - I think Ive had actual nightmares about this.

I don't think we can say much about the natural state of people nor the logical state, and even if poly was we're humans who arent bound by natural or logical state.

I can appreciate monogamy as default as being harmful, I think its a bit overwrought to say that but I get it. As the hegemonic default, a lot is negotiated and more or less thats because people know the script for it - don't cheat on your partner, but what cheating means can be stretchy and culturally coded. Some people think an emotional affair and a smooch is serious, some think it only crosses the line with sex, whatever. That could use some negotiating and communication - but also, dont cheat on your monogamous partner and if you cant, then dont partner uo monogamously. I dont get the harm in 2026 where you cant just sow your wild oats as a single person but everyones making you be monogamous with a partner except you also wanna still hit on other people? That part feels very overwrought. I could definitely see monogamy as an institution be historically harmful and oppressive but get real for today in the hegemonic society - you dont need to be paired up.

I still dont think its a kink nor invasive, I think thats still very silly framing. Its a kink as much as poly is (to me, not at all). Its just a way people have relationships.

Oh poly people can still find ways to cheat, it might sound impossible but they definitely can and have!

Ive dated monogamously and poly, and I think youre joking or whatever but monogamy definitely isnt just a kink you goober