You know before I grew mine, I really thought Id be playing with them... and I never really have. If you had asked me at 20 when I thought I was a dude years before I cracked my egg I wouldve said "oh hell yeah I would waste hours playing with my boobs if they grew on me suddenly" and the reality has been... I never really did lol
Your parents probably wouldnt notice the laser hair removal though. And how often are you showing your parents your bare back for black and white carp? And they, surely, would NEVER see your genitals for SRS????
And also... okay they might notice ear piercings but so what. Like just studs arent really gendered anymore (like black nail polish, thanks gen z I guess), and theres plenty of traditional cultures where men and women both pierced their ears (mileage may vary for your family cause it depends on culture lol).
I know youre going through it and venting and getting it out is healthier than letting it all boil over inside, but this specific comment should really be spoilered.
Anyway, 
If you wanna read more, click the spoiler. Theres not much point in reading it if youre feeling way too much in pain, 10/10 style emotional pain, right now because none of its really actionable. If youre in that really high pain point, all I would wanna do is just and maybe if youre up to it later you can read it. Like, after a good night's sleep kind of later not in the next few hours.
click when youre ready, if you want to
Thoughts are just thoughts, they come and go, you are the mountain and thoughts are the clouds. The clouds can come on, the clouds crash against the mountain, the clouds pass. The mountain remains. You have these very strong intense emotions and dark thoughts, and they are hard, and you must still deal with them in a healthy way. Obviously, if youre in danger of harming yourself right now I would suggest emergency services and maybe a crisis line if you can get one. If youre not or youre just in a headspace where you need to get it out but not a real danger, then vent.
Your experience of being transgender has so far been very difficult for you so far, I dont know all your details and only my guesses and what you've posted. One of the biggest hurdles and pain points seems to be being closeted at home and it seems the majority of your day to day life, you've made a lot of progress and forward movement otherwise - coming out to friends, HRT (starting DIY!). When youre depressed like you seem to have been all that momentum collapses because your brain literally isnt able to track stuff beyond a long constant "now" in the same way a brain without depression can - all the future is kind of splayed out in an unattainable frame far past where it feels like you can ever travel. But if I had asked you 2 years ago if youd start DIY and come out to friends etc, you probably would have said something like "no." And yet you did have the strength to do those things even as you seem to have been profoundly depressed.
One of your biggest pain points - besides being closeted seemingly the majority of the time - is your voice. And voice training is hard even if youre not dealing with the level of dysphoria you have about it. You must still train to get a more femme voice, but it doesnt have to be right this second and maybe you need to work on some other mental health stuff before you can start to take a crack at it properly. Of course if you ever feel safe enough to startingtartii try, well youve shown a lot of strength over the years Ive known you and I wouldnt be surprised if you randomly decided to start despite everything you feel inside.
I don't know if your life would have been better or worse if you had been cis. There's not much point wondering because that's not your life and it seems to be bringing you pain and making you feel hate for other people when you do consider the "what if I were cis" thing. If ruminating on this is bringing you pain, then you should stop or speak with someone you trust on how to get out of that thought cycle if you can't stop ruminating on it. Comparing yourself to others only really hurts yourself and theres even less a point in comparing yourself to someone who isn't real (i.e. imaginary cis you).
I do hope that things will get better when you move, and even better when you start to be independent and can just be yourself. Maybe even come out to your parents when it no longer matters if they approve or do not approve.
spoiler
You definitely dont have to figure out a label, you can just go with what makes you happy as it happens~
I like sex - I like casual sex, I like situationship sex, I like sex with (slightly more than) friends. But the peak best sex has and remains committed monogamous old relationship energy sex. Everything else is still great! Like A tier. But committed 5+ year relationship is S tier.
If youre demisexual thats fine! Theres no harm in trying.
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Hopefully your next go on apps, if you choose it, goes better than that early bit where you didnt do anything but wait for messages lol
If you want more than casual sounds like she aint the one from your end and her own end.
Surely you would never act like the horniest touch starvingest girl Ive ever seen
You were warned
horrifying personal care mold
My douche had mold ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ ew ew ew ew ew
Thats really annoying because I followed all care instructions with it, it doesnt stay somewhere humid or moist except for the brief moments its in use in the bathroom, and it gets air dried out after use. Now I gotta wonder wtf how long has that been happening. I know some gynes say dont even bother douching but the surgical team said to continue to douche indefinitely, so Ive been following them for the past 4 months.
Anyway, everything is healed and safe and other than the sheer grossness... nothing seems irritated or bad or unhealthy so. I guess no harm no foul but omg mold why ew. I guess Ill write a message to the team and ask whats up and see if I need a new one
Youd love Ebberon
I will take one accord please
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Frotting lol
No, you would be her pet, youd do nothing but sit around naked at home with a collar and leash