this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2025
130 points (97.1% liked)

chapotraphouse

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Common non-coffee drinker W

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 hours ago

It's like gasoline/petrol prices for humans.

[–] [email protected] 86 points 22 hours ago

Amerikkkans ... may finally be pushed to action

classic

[–] [email protected] 47 points 20 hours ago

This is the end result of Mormons accounting for like half of the FBI/CIA. Non-caffeinated patriots are in control.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 16 hours ago

Well now that nintendos have been delayed there may be a chance of guillotines hitting the streets

[–] [email protected] 56 points 22 hours ago (5 children)

Nah bring back Victorian style capitalism. Coffee is now 5% actual coffee and the rest is laced with dirt and my farts, maybe some anthrax for fun

[–] [email protected] 26 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Why else would they be trying so hard to remove safety regulations and standards 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[–] [email protected] 23 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

Life was better when jewlery made me spontaneously combust. Bread hasn't been the same since they stopped putting plaster in it

[–] [email protected] 17 points 20 hours ago

They're called adulturants because it's food for grown ups now stop being a baby and eat your sawdust loaf.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 22 hours ago (3 children)

If you're buying like Folger's you're already getting a bunch of sticks and whatnot in your coffee.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

farts

Are you an Asian palm civet? Because there will be tariffs on you, too.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 20 hours ago

I love this website

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I've been saying IRL that Trump is gonna bring back lead and asbestos to save the American economy.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 20 hours ago (5 children)

I mean, he literally thinks the laws against asbestos are a mafia conspiracy.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

No you guise, you don't understand!

This is gonna make prices lower somehow because The Communists (Jeff Bezos, Mike Walmart) will accept lower profits and then all the other Bad Countries will come groveling for the Best Trade Deals Ever!

please-save-me

[–] [email protected] 6 points 16 hours ago

you forgot about Tim Apple, the most communist of all the US communists.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 21 hours ago (4 children)

Black Rifle Coffee will be exempt from the tariffs

[–] [email protected] 6 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

good, cant cut off money to the zapatistas

[–] [email protected] 6 points 16 hours ago

Hmmm, economically destructive taxes put on imports of caffeinated beverage ingredient Americans consume large quantities of, except one favored corporation with deep ties to the state get an exemption to them? Why does that sound so familiar?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 20 hours ago

The only black life that matters

[–] [email protected] 17 points 20 hours ago

sounds like a great place to hang out once we run out of tesla dealerships.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (2 children)

Me, the espresso enjoyer miyazaki-pain

Coffee is already in a tenuous position due to climate change and its effect on suitable grow zones. Tariffs are just the cherry on top.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Are you ready for ze decaffeinated world order

[–] [email protected] 36 points 22 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 26 points 22 hours ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 29 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

They'll drink those coffee alternatives people in the civil war drank with caffeine tablets mixed in

[–] [email protected] 18 points 20 hours ago

Nothing like a hot cup of chicory in the morning while smoking a cheroot.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 21 hours ago (3 children)

Americans will just switch to Celsius or whatever energy drinks. They won't do shit about losing treats aside from complain and pray for Kamala to bring them back in a few years

[–] [email protected] 20 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

The caffeine in energy drinks I think comes from the decaffeination process for decaf coffee

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 21 hours ago (8 children)

Those will also increase in price with tariffs on countries that supply aluminum and the ingredients to make that slop

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 21 hours ago

sergey-chad Engineers run on coffee.

frothingfash CHUDs run on Beer.

meow-coffee No coffee. No water. meow-tableflip

No water. No beer. all-my-apes-gone

[–] [email protected] 7 points 16 hours ago

I will die on the barricades for white monster.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 23 hours ago

300 years in the future

History teacher: "and that is what kicked off what we call the Coffee Rebellion in what was then the United States."

[–] [email protected] 36 points 22 hours ago (8 children)

no trust me. the highly productive Kona region will supply the entire American market now that they don't have to compete with those inferior imports

[–] [email protected] 23 points 21 hours ago

That's not fair, there's also Puerto Rico and whatever the fuck Jason Mraz is doing in Santa Barbara.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 23 hours ago (6 children)

They're just going to switch to caffeinated soda. In your heart you know this to be true. doomer

[–] [email protected] 29 points 22 hours ago (6 children)

DRINK 1776 ENERGY! FILLED WITH 100mg OF PATRIOT CAFFEINE! COFFEE IS FOR COMMIES! MADE IN THE GOOD OL US OF A!! GOD’S COUNTRY!

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 18 hours ago

They will deregulate the fda and Panera will bring back the heart attack lemonade

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 23 hours ago

Never underestimate the burgerreich's ability to avoid doing anything that's mildly inconvenient treatler

[–] [email protected] 27 points 22 hours ago

So this is how the coffee party was formed

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