khizuo

Think about how nice it would be to crush your wife in arm wrestling

bump amber whataboutism

Me when my very cool trans professor gives me a nice comment on my homework:

Yesterday I got to have a long conversation with the person who runs the feminist and queer centers at my school (the person who I posted about a few days ago saying I thought she was potentially a Marxist? That person.) I'm so happy, she is indeed a communist and she is also COVID-conscious, which is really important to me. I told them that I wanted to start a COVID-consciousness student group here and she got really excited and offered a lot of support, including a spot at their table at the upcoming club fair. I also told her about my wish to start a socialist reading group on campus (and by "socialist" I really mean Marxist-Leninist, which I think she understood) and they told me that they would absolutely support that too. We had a pretty cool conversation about the politics on campus, about the upcoming election season (which will Not be fun), the existing socialist group within the school, the dire state of COVID consciousness at the school, a lot of topics. She even offered to help me look for work in the surrounding area, because unfortunately most jobs on campus are reserved for federal work-study and I don't have that. Also she runs a trans theory reading group that I will definitely be going to. I'm so glad to have made connections with her, I'm still smiling.

Unironically every gatekeeper should be

Friends of Socialist China

Sat in on a class on Cuba yesterday. Seems like it would have some useful information on the history of colonialism and imperialism as it relates to Cuba, but presented through a lib lens. Disappointed but not surprised, my commie friend and I agreed that we would not be taking this class. I know that if I were to attend that class it would just be a class of me arguing with people the whole time.

Yummm, ty!

I think Black Agenda Report deserves a mention.

Oh ty, I'll look into tinted lip balms. My lips are always kind of dry, all year round.

All my lipsticks are basically my mom's old lipsticks (and I think one that belonged to my cousin?) and I think we have very different tastes in terms of shades, haha. I definitely want to get some black lipstick at some point, as well as dark green/dark purple. But because I always cover the bottom half of my face, it's not been a top priority purchase. Honestly I love the way my masks look with my eye make-up anyways, especially my MSA Advantage brings a really fun punk look.

Ever since coming to school I've challenged myself to come up with a fun new outfit every day, and most of them have had corresponding make-up looks. I'm taking more pictures of myself than I ever have before. A lot of that is because I'm planning to start a personal fashion blog, and I'm building a backlog of looks to post; but also, it's the fact that looking at myself is no longer a constant exercise of dysphoria, when I'm inhabiting the form of gender expression that I feel most happy in (aka my weird goth-ish punk-ish maximalist look.)

Unfortunately, I do find that make-up is kind of a key part of being able to enjoy the way my face looks in photos. I generally do very dramatic eye make-up; because I wear a mask whenever I'm out, I do not really do much related to my lips or cheeks. (I tried to do some lips the other day and immediately wiped it off, I hated it lol.) I feel like, weirdly enough, my eye make-up has the effect de-emphasizing the femininity of my face. Tbh I do not like this new shift in my relationship with make-up; I started using make-up in 2022 as a form of queer self-expression and I've always tried to consciously stay away from using it as a tool to make myself look "better".

I'm wondering (hoping) that once I start T I will feel more comfortable in my skin, and I will no longer need to get all dressed up to feel gender euphoria. Of course I think I will always love getting dressed in elaborate weird outfits, but it would be nice to also feel euphoric when I'm in my plain grey sweatpants and sleep shirt.