I think my feet have changed because my winter boots from last year no longer fit. Which on one hand cool because estrogen is working, on the other hand now I need to buy new/used winter boots

trans friends: relaxing to webfishing

me: queueing cs2 to unwind

I have, once more, been extremely gay

Looking back I'm surprised how long it took for my egg to crack. I watched the Korra avatar and was wishing I was a lesbian, saw the Netflix Shera and wished I was able to transform into a woman and be a lesbian with Catra. Also watched some anime where a guy cross dressed for like one episode and I was wishing I could "cross dress" myself. Wild how oblivious I was

Hear me out; what if we just gave everyone with treatment resistant depression and dissociation a taste of HRT and saw what happened?

Might just eat cookies for dinner

transness will continue until morale improves

The radical left has converted me from a puppygirl to a catgirl :3

Edit: my PFP was briefly slightly nsfw hope nobody saw that

unchecked transphobia! at the Irish web fishing server:( just got the game and now I never wanna play it again. im prejudiced against the country folk on this island ngl. fuck me for wandering out of overtly communist online spaces for like, 20 minutes i guess lol. it's bad out there.

Met a frog friend on the window of the gym outside in front of the treadmill I was using

(also I think I'm developing a crush on somebody there and it's the first time I've felt kinda like that about someone in like half a decade and idk really how to feel about it. I'm really ruminating hard about "wait we're they just being nice or was there something there?" I'm really bad at this but they're really cute and I just feel like a gross ogre talking to them by comparison and can't get a read on the tone of our interactions. Their smile seemed genuine to me though and they're friendly? Idk)

a second uninstall has hit tiktok

imma try to work past my lifelong posting anxiety and lurk less, i have gay takes that must be heard

CW dysphoria:

i paid for someone's hormones cuz i accidentally got a whole bunch of money because trump winning the election made my bitcoin stash skyrocket and the person was struggling to buy crypto and i just wanted them to have the thing

Bureaucrat posting has been a wholesome ending to site drama

Continuing to struggle with the feeling like I don’t belong, neither as a trans person or even more broadly as a queer person. It feels like a joke—I’m just a straight cis dude in all but name.

I haven't posted the last couple days, but I have been feeling good. Like myself again. Just haven't had a lot to say or talk about. There's been a couple things on my mind, but they're not really worth getting into (especially when overall I'm doing well). But, in good news, a friend reached out to me. This is the friend I came out to a little while ago, but we hadn't talked since then. Sounds like he just got busy with life stuff. Also, going to do something I've been needing to do for a little bit now but have been putting off

Just had my first electrolysis session and hoooooooly shit that was unpleasant. Way worse than laser. The tech was great but goddamn it was sooooo slow and a type of pain im not great with

!CW Venting, social dysphoria:!<

!Feeling kind of shitty and just generally lost in my transition. There's a lot of stuff about it that feels daunting and that I don't know how to move forward with. Lately I've been wishing I had a cis girl friend who could help me out, and be a kind of 'big sister' I could go to for advice. But most of the women I'm friends with are very butch, and haven't felt super equipped to help me. And the one friend I have who has been able to help, moved multiple States away, and while she's been able to help me with some stuff, the distance has impacted our friendship, and I'm just feeling sad about the whole thing!<

Sick of being constantly ignored by my friend whenever i try to reach out

going outside in the same make-up i passed out in yesterday because it's brat summer

Goodnight comrades, here's part of the code of conduct that i think about alot

Be aware of your own enjoyment of the site.

• If you find yourself no longer having fun, do something else. There are many different comms on Hexbear, and many different ways to shitpost and have fun.
• If the site as a whole is just not cutting it for you, take a break. We'll still be here when you get back. Nothing should compel you to stay.

https://hexbear.net/code_of_conduct

Watched ~~part of~~ a voice training video and now youtube thinks I'm serious. Stop reminding me of my weakness

Hi, I'm new here

Last year someone in my ap computer science class came out as trans, our teacher told us that the student wanted to tell us something, and people were like "did [deadname] die?" and the teacher said that the student wanted to go by a different name and pronouns. Then someone goes said that he wouldn't use she/her pronouns to refer to someone who doesn't look like a girl. At least some people were respectful, though. The point is, I can't trust the people around me to not be bigoted, although most of the people in that class, have graduated. The trans student was very cool though, she was one of the only students who took the class seriously (I think there might be something in the computers turning people trans!) and was probably a gamer. Too bad she also graduated. I'm not a gamer and I don't have anything interesting about myself. I kind of looked up to her, even though I didn't identify as trans.

My whole life has been a lie of pretending to be someone that I'm not. I'm a minor, and I live with my parents in the wonderful state of Florida, where woke goes to die. I have reason to believe that my parents are transphobic. My family is Catholic. I am not, but they don't know that. I have been pretending for years. I don't say anything about how I feel about my gender.

I am growing more body hair every day. It's awful, and I don't think I've ever had this much. As much as I would like to do something about it, I am scared of what other people would say. I don't even know how to remove it without accidentally hurting myself.

I feel like a robot. I do the same stuff every day, and by that I mean that I don't do anything. I just do my schoolwork, and school gets repetitive. It distracts me from thinking. But guess what, when I do think, I just think about how I want to be a girl, and then I get sad. But I don't actually get sad, since I don't feel my emotions very deeply.

::: spoiler Read at your own risk CW: autogynephilia I think I might have that? But also maybe not? I mean, it can be arousing to imagine myself as a woman? But also I can think of myself as a woman and not be aroused? Autogynephilia has been one of those things that makes me question if I'm really trans. Most research on trans women does make a distinction between two types of trans people, those who find out early and are attracted to men, and those who find out later and are attracted to women, and sometimes have autogynephilia. Yes, I know that this research is stupid. That doesn't help. I still think about it. Also, I'm not really sure if I meet the criteria for gender dysphoria from a transmed perspective. Wikipedia shows the dsm description, but it says that it has to cause clinically significant distress or an impairment in functioning. The thing is, I do well in school, and to most people, especially adults, I appear well functioning. But I don't know, I don't have many friends and no one that I am close to, but I don't think that gender issues are what is causing this?

If you made it this far, I'm sorry for putting you through all of this. I'm okay, even if it sounds like I'm not.

I misread the "Linux" on her shirt as "Ligma" multiple times. Deadass. I keep having to double check.

My breaking bad hyperfixation is the most obsessed anyone has ever been about something

Webfishing clocked both me and my sister. The first chest she opened awarded her the pan title, and the first chest I opened awarded me the bi title. How did it know these things? This doesn't change the fact that I'm still going to run the Good Girl title though.

I play it cool here, but every week, in my head I'm like, "this is the week I'm going to tell them I'm actually a cis guy and that I can't post with them anymore 😭"

Lmao so deranged

it's funny how two drinks can legitimately get me drunk. a good value too. I just watched the menu and that was good and ate bean borgors

I also did my injection today finally

I'm planning for the future too

I really hope people to believe in me when I say things about myself and how I feel

goodnightt

might have gotten a wee tipsy last night

For some reason my tax refund got super delayed this year, but I finally got it! First time in forever I don't feel broke. Time to get some cute winter outfits

Well I'm starting Naltrexone today. I really hope it's enough to keep me out of rehab