allthetimesivedied

I r-r-r-really don’t trust the quality of that shit.

The I paid $25 for these pretty decent ones, they go for $60 retail. Everything was fine and then I remembered the third reason this is trash technology: the screen thingie always comes off, or gets gummed up and has to be taken ‘ off, making it sound like something I wouldn’t even pay $5 for.

If it isn’t that, earbuds will either not stay put, or I’ll lose one, just one.

I’m actually having a nice day today.

CashApp or Venmo.

So there’s a food cart on the other side of town that gives me free food—literally the only place to have never pulled the rug out from under me. But it takes an hour and multiple transfers on the bus.

Today I was planning on going out there so I could fucking eat but then of course one of my annoying friends I don’t even know why I call them friends, needed my help with some stupid shit so I literally spent like 3.5 hours doing this shit—not gonna make it to the food cart. Literally have not eaten today except uhhh—an iced coffee and, a couple “hits” off a bag of C&H white granulated sugar like it was a fucking carton of milk lol.

Venmo me, because Apple and Spotify are circling my CashApp like sharks right now. /@allthetimesivedied.

And that’s probably why my voice always “cracks” and it feels awkward to talk and why I sound so nasally and weird. Idk if I’m just tripping out or not but it took me until now to realize my void carries just fine at a softer volume…and at that volume I can talk normal, in ways that my NORMAL VOICE wouldn’t allow.

The topic: how fucked the Democrats are gonna be unless they nominate someone who people will actually want to vote for—someone who can mobilize their base the way Obama did, and the way Trump is doing now—and how Kamala kinda almost does that, but falls short by being only slightly less milquetoast than Biden. Or something like that.

And Creamsicle will be co-hosting.

It feels kinda pleasant at first but that’s always a lie. I know I’m going to have some unpleasant psychological symptoms in a day or two—I’d like to get some supplements to keep my brain from bugging out, and give kratom a try, and also get something to eat, because I’m struggling badly at that.

CashApp/Venmo: allthetimesivedied

DM me for PayPal.

It really feels like it’s starting to get out of hand, and the leftist/activist community here or whatever doesn’t seem to really give a fuck,

I was just going to print out fliers and put them up, then see about purchasing a megaphone. I’m thinking of August 8th for the date, still mulling over where the location will be.

Creamsicle is really worried about me.

[Faint, off in the distance] “I DREW A PICTURE OF A WHALE!”

I’m sorry I keep asking all frantic and shit like this, I’m sorry I do it on an almost daily basis. I feel like that’s all I do—beg for money and doom scroll. I used to have a personality not long ago.

Tbh I wish assisted you-know were an option for this kinda thing. I have zero quality of life anymore and no hope for it to get better.

CashApp and Venmo are allthetimesivedied.

And it’s not for drugs, nor am I spending it on stupid shit.

I’m going to die a very scary, traumatic death and so are a lot of the people who are closest to my heart—we’re all homeless, and we’re all drug addicts, and I have the special bonus of being (sort of) trans as well. I’m already seeing the ratcheting up of hatred for homeless drug users—I’ll be shot in the head and kicked into a pit, and my only hope is that I’ll be one of the very first so I won’t have to live with the pain of worrying about anyone I care about.

So yeah, while I agree that America’s collapse would be a W for humankind overall, it’s hard to fucking see that silver lining when things are that bleak.

I just want the rest of what’s likely to be a very short life to be chill. I just want things to be normal.

The judge started laughing so hard she collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital when Creamsicle replied to “How does the defendant plead?” by yelling “I don’t know!”

He thinks he’s getting “the fighter squad” for killing a judge, so I got him a pizza from 7-Eleven. He immediately goes back to freaking the fuck out the instant it leaves his field of vision. He literally will shift gears mid sentence. I know he understands object permanence but ???.

I’m the fucking ghost of who I was just two years ago. I’m in pain every day—my knees are fucked up, among other things. It really does feel like I’m fucking dying and I’m not just freaking out.

Can anyone help me? Please?

CashApp/Venmo are allthetimesivedied