this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2023
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And the much more important follow up; who's sneezing wrong and needs to stop?

Im a maximum force sneezer (though I always take care to never spray or do it next to someone), anything less 1 hurts like hell if I try to supress it and 2 feels unsatisfying in a way I just can't accept

Stifle Sneezers are the worst. its not that I actually dislike the noise or have issues with them, I just get sympathetic dissatisfaction and start imagining the sensation of when I stifle a sneeze and :why don't we have any shudder emotes: it almost makes me want to make myself sneeze just to get rid of the feeling

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

whos sneezing wrong

all of you, im the only correct sneeze haver here.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

The One True Sneezist.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

I hold mine in because im trying to shoot my socks off my feet from the backpressure.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

either tiny, squeaky sneezes or at risk of throwing my back out. there's literally no middle ground. send help.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

When I'm outside I really let loose and I've lost my balance more than once

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

I'm good at stifling sneezes, but that's mostly because I hate making noise. I sneeze into my shirt if I'm not wearing a mask. I guess normal for me is sneezing like a cough where I don't activate my vocal cords.

I hate it when people sneeze and get vocal. Force is fine, but I don't think shouting is necessary

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I've always been a stifle sneezer, except if I'm already in a bathroom or secluded area.

The way you talk makes it sound like you don't uphold your volcel pledge.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

volcel-police

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The way you talk makes it sound like you don't uphold your volcel pledge.

jesse-wtf

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

If they like to show zero self restraint while squirting gooey fluids, they can't be trusted

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

I'm a loud and violent sneezer to the point I've had to stop sneezing through my nose or else I'd risk blowing out my ear drums from the overpressurization. I try not to active my vocal cords while I'm sneezing too but it's still loud as shit.

Every time I've sneeze in public I've made people jump from being startled by me sneezing.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

3 small sneezes in a row and a final big one

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Just 2 days ago I achieved the level of "dad sneezer" and caused a localized earthquake under the foundation of our house with the force from it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

The Communists disdain to conceal their views and sneezes. They openly declare that their ends can be attained only by the forcible clearing of all existing nasal cavities. Let the bystanders tremble at a Communistic sneeze. The noses have nothing to lose but their snort. They have air to win.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Fun fact, the communistic sneeze technique is also how Sputnik was launched into space: every worker in the USSR sneezed into those pneumatic tubes at once, thrusting the rocket into space!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Usually do the old a-choo because I'm in my room alone but I do say god bless me.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

My sinuses are fucked and I sneeze no less than six times in a row every time, it's the loudest thing you've ever heard and everyone hates me, no one says bless you anymore they just roll their eyes and I feel like I have to apologize for my hideous internal deformity

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

I sneeze like a cartoon character

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I stifle mine because I produce a lot of saliva and tend to spray like a fire hose if I cut loose.

I'm also a champion at gleeking.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Is gleeking that thing where you shoot saliva like a geyser?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

I sneeze at maximum volume due to being male socialized

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I have a clocky sneeze, real /tttt brainworms deeper-sadness

But I never sneeze just once, I will always sneeze at least twice, usually 3-4 minimum

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

I had a friend who would never sneeze, I lived with him for years and I never heard him sneeze, then he got a cold and would sneeze 7 times in a row every hour or so

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

HaaAaAA-chhhshhhh

HaaaaAaaAAAaA-chuh

Hyaa... CHOOOOOOOOUYIOOOOO hyuhuheh

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (2 children)

If I'm alone or with people I'm really comfortable with I'll basically shout when I sneeze, let it all out, very satisfying. If I'm at work or something I stifle it which is the worst actually because then I just end up sneezing at least three times which means people say bless you or gesundheit once and then get progressively surprised or annoyed at the subsequent sneezes.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Serial sneezer. We're talking minimum of 5. My grandpa went 30 and over at times.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

It depends, if I can feel it coming I'll kind of muffle it into my elbow because germs and whatnot but if I'm taken by surprise I have an almost cartoon AHHHHH-choo.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I've been told I sneeze "cutely." It's stupid, but we take the random gender euphoria like that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Full force, usually two or three times in a row. Have been knocked off my feet, and nearly blacked out once. I have to pull over if i need to sneeze while driving. It sucks lmao.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

nearly blacked out once

I thought I was an over the top sneezer, yeesh!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Oh yeah, a sneezing fit leaves me with seeing stars and getting headaches. 4 times in a row on a hot summer day had me with weak knees and needing to take a seat immediately.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I used to be able to hold my sneezes in. Simply refuse to sneeze. I've gone soft in old age.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I used to muffle myself but now I fully sneeze like my dad

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Nice try fed, you won't get me to compromise my opsec and give up such valuable personal identity info! soviet-huff

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Whichever type I want to be, since it is completely up to yourself how you sneeze. I choose not to be a mach 2 siren sneezer, since it is incredibly uncomfortable for everyone else around. It is entirely within my own power to decide how I want my sneezes to be, as it is for everyone. I will take it personally if you yell-sneeze next to me

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Two sneezes and they sound like a cough/bark

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I go really loud, with an over-the-top cartoon-ass "ACHOO!" As long as I'm sneezing I might as well have some fun with it!

Of course I always aim away from others/cover my nose and mouth with my elbow.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Definitely a communist, as a freedom loving AMERICAN I aim directly at people's faces when I sneeze. First they get you covering you mouth, then it's masks, and next thing you know they're corraling you into 15 minute cities.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

A sudden sonic blast, an outright shout. I sometimes need to leave the room.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Very often and usually in groups of 5+ (only 1-2 is unusual enough to be remarked on by people who know me). Gets really noticeable sometimes in places like movie theatres or exams where quiet is expected and I sneeze more than the 1000 other people there combined.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

sometimes i go honk shoo and sometimes i go honk mi mi mi it depends on the material conditions

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