"Oh boy I sure do hope I can have a productive day today! I've got a lot of things that I need doing"

does 1 (one) thing

completely out of energy

I was literally just talking to a friend about this last night. I used to live in a super conservative small town where almost everyone was elderly, it was like basically a glorified retirement community. People would take one look at me, see my really long hair, and gender me correctly. But now I live in a progressive college town and even with my hair and painted nails and shit people still misgender me. It is so painful to get gendered correctly less 15 months on HRT compared to pre-HRT

fuck christianity and fuck anyone who defends it, it's caused so much fucking pain in so many people's lives

if you respond "liberation theology" I will fucking kill you

My deadname was Bobson Dugnutt

I can’t even dunk on shit like this it just makes me sad. I so understand just wanting to be in another world and hoping beyond hope that you’ll just one day wake up where it’s better and not hell world

David is a huge disappointment compared to his siblings Nicolas and Chastity

Me: "Why do I feel like such shit? It's a complete mystery"

Also me: has consumed nothing but alcohol and potatoes in the past 36 hours

stummy hurty

Maybe deep fat fired oreos wasn't the best idea for dinner yesterday

Hard times create strong men

Strong men create good times

Good times create weak men

Weak men make me hard

Finally putting my foot down and being assertive with my mom. I told her she won’t see me for the holidays unless she uses my actual name and doesn’t deadname me. I feel like an asshole because I’ve never been forceful like this, I’ve always just accepted being misgendered and disrespected. But I’m growing a spine and I’m done with that now. If she can’t do something so basic as calling me my name then she doesn’t deserve to see me

Apps are awful. It feels so shitty to like "shop" through people's profiles, it's dehumanizing. There is no real way to find like an actually relationship on those, doubly so if you're queer.

Got sad instead of going to bed.

God I just wish I was happy with how I looked. I would take it over passing in an heartbeat. If I could look in the mirror and just not hate what I see I'd take that over never getting misgendered again, I just want to be comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life. I'd kill even to have a minute of that.

I'm going to fucking get there one day, no matter what it takes. I've been on HRT for a year but have done basically nothing else to transition, but I'm going to put the effort in. I want to be happy so desperately badly and I'm done just wishing for it and I'm going to really start going for it.