I also struggle socially. My social problems may manifest a bit differently to yours — I struggle to hold conversations, and I especially struggle with responding to people (which in a day and age where ghosting is like a cardinal sin does feel really bad.) I have a difficult time gauging what people will take offense to and I overcompensate by masking my entire personality. I've always really admired people who openly gush about their interests because it's something I want to be able to do.

I've never gotten the vibe from you that you are lecturing from a position of privilege or anything, but that you are passionate about queer liberation and want to provide an empathetic voice. And that's super fucking cool! I love reading your posts about gender because while I'm also nonbinary, my experience of being nonbinary is very different from yours and I enjoy seeing different perspectives on the whole gender thing. Not to mention your queer lit posting is also fantastic, it's some of my favorite stuff to read while scrolling the bear site.

To me you are one of the posting cornerstones of the trans mega. I've loved watching this little community grow over the past few months, and you are one of the people who helped build that community. I would be sad to see you go.

You know more about yourself then I do, but I don't think you are socially innept either.

I give a shit about you too. I hope you feel better soon.

And besides, your particular focus on gender liberatory experiences compared to binary experiences is important to have. Sure sometimes you might fail to recognise how important certain things are for binary trans people, but often those same things do have deeper problematic aspects to them that you do recognise. It's not your fault if someone doesn't recognise that and instead continues to feel that passing is too difficult or outright impossible for them. Just try to meet them a little bit more at the middle, getting rid of those brainworms is incredibly hard and can take forever and going a bit slower can sometimes help. (I know you probably feel this is targeted at you Tomboymoder, but it isn't, you're not the only one here who feels like that sometimes)

You're always going to feel like there is someone who might be better suited to help a person, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't. That idealised person who can perfectly help in the situation doesn't exist. And while others might be able to find a better angle than you, that doesn't mean that yours is useless. It can often be just as important, even if it may not seem as illuminating or helpful. I know there have been a few cases where I felt that you caught something I entirely missed when we were both speaking to someone. And often the weight of having more reasons and help can be important too. And what about if the person in question who is more suited isn't able to help for one reason or another? I often rely on people who have more energy than me in the moment to help people who I would like to but can't due to my current situation. You know I do that. And I'm not the only one. Having someone who is willing to help when others are busy or tired is a great thing since being left hanging can feel far worse than just getting "bad" advice does. And you're often that person here, you're always willing to help or talk about these things and that's incredible. I wish I could be half as helpful as you are sometimes. Even your little posts of sympathy towards my small feelings of pain often help me a lot more than I can express here.

And don't feel sorry for putting this on the mega. This is something serious and important for you to say. We all post things that are complex, difficult, and hard for us here all the time, that's part of what makes this place so nice is that we're able to do that and be met with empathy and help. Empathy and help which often comes from you, Ash.

And sure, sometimes these will become conflicts, but that's inevitable in any online space, it's not something fundamentally wrong with you. And you don't have to let them become something that makes you leave the spaces you love. Sometimes two people butt heads and aren't compatible, but they can still inhabit the same space. (And worse comes to worse blocking exists) And sometimes you'll argue with friends, but that doesn't mean that you can't still be friends outside of that argument. I'm sure everyone here has someone they care about who is at least a bit of a lib, for instance, even if it's just a family member.

I do not actually believe that anybody likes me though.

Whatever it is, its your brain lying to you. I like you.

It makes me sad you feel this way. I hope the responses you get can help you not feel that way.