95
submitted 12 hours ago by plinky@hexbear.net to c/sports@hexbear.net
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[-] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 7 points 6 hours ago

The economy has gotten so bad that inflation is even affecting penises now.

When will it end? When will this penis inflation bubble pop??

[-] Coolkidbozzy@hexbear.net 6 points 6 hours ago

wait so are all dick-having pro ski jumpers erect

[-] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 4 points 5 hours ago

when they're sized for the suits

[-] christian@hexbear.net 2 points 2 hours ago

We're like one month away from this being the top terf talking point about women's sports

[-] quarrk@hexbear.net 18 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Foreskin-care routine. kelly

[-] QuillcrestFalconer@hexbear.net 16 points 9 hours ago

God just give them arm membranes like flying squirrels

[-] Notcontenttobequiet@hexbear.net 19 points 9 hours ago

New York Times headlines always read as deeply unserious and stupid to me. Like someone is reading it to me in a condescending voice.

[-] VILenin@hexbear.net 7 points 6 hours ago

That's the "adults in the room" style libspeak

[-] plinky@hexbear.net 15 points 8 hours ago

they write for blue maga, of course they are

[-] Wheaties@hexbear.net 25 points 10 hours ago

The shit people do for a gold medal... I get that in their social circles, it's everything. But. It doesn't seem all that prestigious. It's not like the judges are gonna go "Hm, poor performance this year, nobody gets anything". There's always gonna be a first second and third. Like, whats the most you get out of it? An advertising deal with Nike? You're gonna fuck up your junk just so you can be in a YouTube ad that gets skipped at the first opportunity?

[-] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 18 points 9 hours ago

The key point is that those skippable ads are part of a larger sponsorship or brand deal, and that’s really the only way you can expect to make money in the more niche sports that don’t have a major league program backing them.

[-] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 5 points 7 hours ago
[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 62 points 12 hours ago

The real solution is to do all Olympic sports the way they used to be done, with hot sweaty naked bodies

[-] PKMKII@hexbear.net 45 points 12 hours ago

Ski jumpers gonna have to perfect the helicopter dick move to gain additional lift.

[-] Carl@hexbear.net 18 points 10 hours ago

In the cold though, so their junk is gonna be shrunk. Unless they add fluffers to the event.

[-] CarbonConscious@hexbear.net 18 points 9 hours ago

Or the event just becomes a contest of who really likes ski-jumping the most.

[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 28 points 12 hours ago

That's fine that's a body technique

[-] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 26 points 11 hours ago

May the biggest dickus win 😌✨️

[-] micnd90@hexbear.net 39 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

Why not just abolish the stupid rule about skintight suit and go full on flying squirrel, I'd watch the competition

[-] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 9 points 7 hours ago

we have wingsuits, they're not in the olympics and people die in them a lot

[-] Keld@hexbear.net 3 points 6 hours ago

I think we should just let these people go wild, sure, some will die, but lets see how far a human can really jump.

[-] D61@hexbear.net 18 points 10 hours ago

Embrace tradition, ret/urn to Tanuki

[-] Enjoyer_of_Games@hexbear.net 28 points 12 hours ago

Guy injecting his penis with acid; "if only there were an easier way to temporarily enlarge my genitalia"

[-] Keld@hexbear.net 6 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

It's not really an acid in the sense that it isn't gonna eat through anything. It's uhh... cell goop? Like I think "Goop" genuinely sums up its function. It forms a chunk of the extracellular matrix and kinda just lubricates or creates buffer space.

Edit: I think you use it for treating arthritis by injecting it into joints to replace the synovial fluid and for filler. They're basically just giving their dicks lip filler.

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 5 points 7 hours ago

Obviously this person never powered through the free ad reads for Blue Chew on their favorite podcast

[-] DasRav@hexbear.net 35 points 12 hours ago

All doping should be legal and clearly laid out, so consumers can make informed decisions about their steroids and dick injections.

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 31 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

Inflating penises?

What is this, my search history?

Thanks folks, I'll be here all day

[-] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 35 points 12 hours ago

what the hell, how is this real

[-] KnilAdlez@hexbear.net 30 points 12 hours ago

Wouldnt it be more effective to inflate your balls?

[-] mickey@hexbear.net 11 points 9 hours ago

What I'm seeing is that in imperial units, 0.8 inches increase in circumference gains you 19 feet of flight length. Saline injection fetishists are about to fffllyyyyyyyyy.

[-] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 26 points 11 hours ago

Wait until ball inflate gate

[-] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 3 points 7 hours ago

Just don't pee for a while before they fit your suit

[-] Carl@hexbear.net 11 points 10 hours ago

This is very funny but I also don't think it's true.

[-] poppy_apocalypse@hexbear.net 11 points 8 hours ago

Pablo Torre did an episode on this. It is, in fact, very real. He called it the penis parachute

[-] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 15 points 10 hours ago

This isn't the first I've heard of this. I think the extra fabric gained from the genitals going back to their original size actually does help

[-] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 4 points 6 hours ago

can't you just get an erection, get the suit or measured or w/e, then let it go flaccid? viagra seems easier

[-] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 3 points 6 hours ago

Easier to say you have to be fitted while soft than to compare dick sizes before and after

[-] XxFemboy_Stalin_420_69xX@hexbear.net 14 points 10 hours ago

could never shit about the rich white olympics i-cant

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 31 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

Sailing away on my big ol' donger.

[-] miz@hexbear.net 22 points 12 hours ago

shit is fucked just give all the medals to Eileen Gu

[-] Speaker@hexbear.net 2 points 5 hours ago

Sure, she can ski, but how much can she inflate her penis?

[-] mickey@hexbear.net 12 points 10 hours ago

Totally forgot about her, oh man I hope she is still dominant, the malding tears of misogynists and racists will sustain me through the winter until the sun returns to us.

[-] Thordros@hexbear.net 14 points 11 hours ago

Athletes discover tech pornography has been using for decades. Wow!

[-] Rojo27@hexbear.net 17 points 12 hours ago

You'd heard of Deflategate, now get ready for Inflategatedubois-finger-guns

[-] ProgAimerGirl@hexbear.net 17 points 12 hours ago

injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid

itchy swollen dick sail tech makes it to the olympics

[-] PKMKII@hexbear.net 16 points 12 hours ago

https://www.sportingnews.com/us/olympics/news/olympic-ski-jumpers-accused-injecting-penises-fly-farther/465d3233b696e6b9e9b4c1a3

The World Anti-Doping Agency has not yet investigated the allegations, but director general Oliver removedli said the organization would look into it.

No no no, there is no way that is actually his name.

[-] Dessa@hexbear.net 15 points 10 hours ago
[-] PKMKII@hexbear.net 13 points 10 hours ago

Even the Hexbear filter was like “awww hell naw”

this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2026
95 points (99.0% liked)

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