this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2025
1047 points (99.1% liked)

Science Memes

12400 readers
1905 users here now

Welcome to c/science_memes @ Mander.xyz!

A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.



Rules

  1. Don't throw mud. Behave like an intellectual and remember the human.
  2. Keep it rooted (on topic).
  3. No spam.
  4. Infographics welcome, get schooled.

This is a science community. We use the Dawkins definition of meme.



Research Committee

Other Mander Communities

Science and Research

Biology and Life Sciences

Physical Sciences

Humanities and Social Sciences

Practical and Applied Sciences

Memes

Miscellaneous

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 166 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

They are forgetting that TERRIBLE design choice where if you accidentally bite the inside of your cheek it swells up making it easier to bite it on accident again and again.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You're just supposed to bite that bit off. Otherwise it's just going to keep happening.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Instructions unclear, but I can now drink through a straw without opening my mouth

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

on accident

Rather than by purpose? #54%

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

I'm a masochist but I have my limits. Lol

load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 111 points 2 weeks ago (11 children)
  • separated genetalia from waste systems

  • removed body hair and baldness

  • fixed acne glitch

  • added ability to change biological sex, with default neutral configuration

  • rerouted laryngeal nerve

  • uterus lining is now reabsorbed automatically

  • reinforced spine and knees

  • simplified foot structure

  • adjusted mental pathways to better adapt to modern environment

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 weeks ago

added ability to change biological sex

PLEASE

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

i'm not sure i want to know what the first point would look like, moving either the genitals or the anus sounds horrifying, and i especially don't want to imagine where penis wielders would urinate or ejaculate from if those functions are separated..

..perhaps we'd do like octopi, reach under and fetch a sperm package that we present instead of a wedding ring? Or maybe let's just leave it like it is and not create horrors.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Just have us piss from asshole

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago

Birds had it right all along with one waste exit.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I like baldness and body hair! They should be optional too

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 61 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

-cartilage in joints can regenerate

-body can synthesize its own vitamin c

Other species already do these things smh.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

We used to do the vitamin c but then were like its too easy to get elsewhere why bother.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)
  • Eating and breathing pathways no longer intersect. This should prevent the bug when food could block the airway and result in death.
[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, it's crazy to me that people believe we were "intelligently designed" when our food hole and breathing hole are so close that we can only use one at a time, and that our waste dumping grounds are right next to the amusement park.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

This is actually a result of changes to our larynx and stuff, which allows us to make such a variety of sounds when speaking. In other animals (and human babies), the air and food tubes are physically separated at rest. But in humans, our epiglottis can't properly keep things separate because our larynx is further down in our throat.

So, I'm gonna have to deny this request on the grounds that it will necessarily break the speech feature, which many of our users depend on heavily.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 46 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

We need to have some process engineers look at the pregnancy and birthing process, there's much room for improvement. Maybe take a totally new approach to it, it's just not it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

Just divide at a cellular level, nature has already solved this problem! Upstart life forms these days thinking they can reinvent the wheel.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

2.0? Bruh, humans are still on pre-v1 beta

Frankly, I don't know how anyone can look at the absolute shit show that is the human body and go "yup, this was totally intelligently designed"

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Apparently a lot of males are still in alpha.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 weeks ago (13 children)

Humans do bioluminisce, it's just too weak for human eyes and most detectors.

load more comments (13 replies)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Well, we do glow in infrared...

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)
  • Suffocation sensation is now tied to a lack of oxygen instead of an abundance of carbon dioxide.
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago

Add new receptors to be able to feel wetness.
This is it cold or wet thing we have going on is just crappy design.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

The mosquito. By far the worst part of the human body!

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (9 children)

If teeth regenerate, do we have to constantly chew on things like rodents? Or is it an as-needed thing?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago

No, you just get a new set growing in the gums.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe we could get rows like sharks

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I would have thought eating and breathing from the same hole would have been in this release 😞 guess I'll just have to wait till 3.0

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Wait, you can't eat and breathe through the same hole?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Ahem... maybe new players forgot this, but humans have been bioluminescent since the oxygenic respiration patch ages ago.

https://www.sciencealert.com/you-can-t-see-it-but-humans-actually-glow-in-visible-light

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Casually forgot about cancer

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That’s going to take some time, it’s a kernel bug.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Can we also fix the depression glitch where happiness points aren't collected and your brain energy bar depleats completely with no way of regeneration without hacking the brain with 3rd party tool antidepressants.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Well if we want to get pedantic, adrenaline exists.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

I’d like someone to at least look into the whole ADHD thing. It’s been going on for some time now without any word on why it’s there, or what it’s for- and aside from funny and relatable memes, it’s yet to provide any positive results.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I want my prehensile tail back, not this vestigial piece of SHIT!

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Can we rather make the kernel more stable before we change the design? These instabilities cause the whole process to hang itself up or terminate FAR to often!

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I'd like to request a bug fix: Eyelashes falling into eyeball. Need to fix the physics so they probably spring away or wash out easier.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (10 children)

These are the sort of genetic engineering/eugenists I want to see. None of that "deleting gay gene" or "breeding smart people" pseudo science garbage.

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Saltwater consumption when????

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago

Also please reroute the food pipe to not use the air pipe

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago

Mosquitos are not humanity though.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

We require too much power for it to suffice alone, but it would be nice to have as a hybrid source of energy!

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›