this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2024
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Toyosatomimi no Miko is a character in the Touhou Project series introduced in its 13th installment, Ten Desires.

Miko was once Prince Shoutoku, a Japanese leader in the 600s known for promoting Buddhism and streamlining the Japanese government. In the Touhou lore, she was visited by Taoist hermit Seiga Kaku, who had heard about Miko’s longing for immortality. Seiga introduced her to Taoism, but she rejected it as a religion unfit for placating an entire country. She was intrigued by its promise of immortality, however, and privately converted to it, advocating for Buddhism to keep Japan stable. After drinking an β€œimmortality elixir” (mercury sulfide), however, she was forced to let go of her body and become a supernatural hermit like Seiga, notably taking on the form of a woman, making her a canonically trans character (lets-fucking-go).

After convincing a hermit from a rival clan (Mononobe no Futo) to sleep without decaying, Miko followed in suit, waiting for a time where a Taoist Japan would revive her in search of guidance. However, Buddhist monks were able to keep her mausoleum sealed, and the legends surrounding her were slowly brushed off- which led to her transportation into Gensokyo, where the folklore of old is a reality of everyday life.

When she awoke in Gensokyo, it was right after Buddhist monk Byakuren Hijiri opened her own temple, however, leading to a surge of divine spirits across the realm, setting up the events of Ten Desires.

What look like headphones on her are canonically earmuffs- Shoutoku was allegedly able to discern between ten questions asked at once, an ability carried by Miko (although with her enhanced abilities, she can also analyze each person and determine their inner desires (thus the title of the game))- although it means her hearing is highly sensitive and has to be muffled to prevent pain.


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[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (10 children)

Ever since coming to school I've challenged myself to come up with a fun new outfit every day, and most of them have had corresponding make-up looks. I'm taking more pictures of myself than I ever have before. A lot of that is because I'm planning to start a personal fashion blog, and I'm building a backlog of looks to post; but also, it's the fact that looking at myself is no longer a constant exercise of dysphoria, when I'm inhabiting the form of gender expression that I feel most happy in (aka my weird goth-ish punk-ish maximalist look.)

Unfortunately, I do find that make-up is kind of a key part of being able to enjoy the way my face looks in photos. I generally do very dramatic eye make-up; because I wear a mask whenever I'm out, I do not really do much related to my lips or cheeks. (I tried to do some lips the other day and immediately wiped it off, I hated it lol.) I feel like, weirdly enough, my eye make-up has the effect de-emphasizing the femininity of my face. Tbh I do not like this new shift in my relationship with make-up; I started using make-up in 2022 as a form of queer self-expression and I've always tried to consciously stay away from using it as a tool to make myself look "better".

I'm wondering (hoping) that once I start T I will feel more comfortable in my skin, and I will no longer need to get all dressed up to feel gender euphoria. Of course I think I will always love getting dressed in elaborate weird outfits, but it would be nice to also feel euphoric when I'm in my plain grey sweatpants and sleep shirt.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

I know what I'm gonna do for my career after this year of kind of bumbling around in the literal first position I applied to and interviewed for. I'm definitely going to go for my Nurse Practitioner - likely focusing on family medicine/all ages rather than babies or adults only. I'm definitely planning on focusing on trans healthcare, probably more focus on trans youth but we'll see. Where I live, you generally need 4500 practice hours or 3 years of full-time clinical bedside experience before you can apply - year 1/1500 hours down. Also, it's kind of spooky that they let us prescribe with only 4500 hours of clinical practice and a handful of pathophys and pharma courses. There's another 1000+ advanced clinical hours just in the program, and you're supposed to have a supervising MD after graduating and wokring, but in terms of patient safety it's kinda... iffy. Just the reality of mid-levels, I guess, it does feel weird being handed that wide of a scope of practice to someone with that few of clinical hours.

There's an opening for an RN at an adult gender clinic in my organization but they want 1-4 years of adult mental health experience - I have 1 year of experience in pediatrics medsurg lol, there's been a number of kids with mental health admissions but that's maybe 5% of admissions. I think I have to change gears to adult mental health, which I LOATHE as an RN. You're expected to be nurse-cop in inpatient mental health it suuuucks, I hated telling people they weren't allowed out for a smoke, I hated feeling like I was manipulating people into taking their meds, for people with memory issues having to redirect them all the time "no you can't leave, come stay with me and we'll play cards" sucked because I was forever telling people they weren't free. The actual patients were fine, even the ones that had a history of violence or whatever, it was feeling like their jailer that sucked and in a lot of ways I fucking was. I identified way more with the patients than the staff, they called it "emotional transference" or something like that cause I yelled at the staff nurses when I was a student lol. Anyway, I really hate it, but if that's what I need...

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (6 children)

It's my birthday! Gonna spend the day doing my two favorite things; smoking and smashing white claws. The weather here is fantastic, nice and cool without a cloud in the sky. Time to lay in the grass and take a nap with my labradoodle child.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Trying to search up info on adhd medication, and all the articles are either written for parents of adhd kids, or they refer to adhd as primarily being something kids and teens struggle with. And why are people still claiming that it's possible to outgrow a mental disorder? Wish it worked like that, would make my life a whole lot easier if my adhd just magically went away as I got older

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (11 children)
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[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

i want to see my wife

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

It's my little brothers wedding soon! So excited for him.

But none of the dresses I bought early in hrt fit anymore πŸ˜• boobs too big. I liked them... they were cute... all I have is a slightly short floral dress and something pretty gothy, I'm gonna see what my mom's opinion on them are

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

was feeling like shit all day, so I went for a walk after dinner, then I felt even shittier, but now I'm good again meow-tankie

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I feel like I do nothing but post every last micro-epiphany I have here, but I have another one lmao.

I've realized I don't think I'm aromantic at all. When I ask myself if I want to be someone's boyfriend I have suchhhh a hard time answering.

"I mean what even is a romantic relationship? Maybe I'm confusing platonic and romantic thoughts. I've only ever had 4 crushes in my entire life and every single one of them I'm pretty sure I just liked platonically? Then why did it feel so special???"

And then I ask myself if I want to be someone's girlfriend.

"God yes. Full stop."

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Today was such a wonderful day y'all. Zero complaints. I'm feeling real good

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (6 children)
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[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (6 children)

Currently having lunch and listening to all the couples around me talking vile shit. The cis are not okay, folks. badeline-disgust

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (10 children)

🚨⚠️BREAKING⚠️🚨

Democratic Kittens Republic of My House receives diplomatic delegation from Raccoon Federation, renews ties in cooperative development in hole digging

comrade-raccoonsolidaritychairman-meow

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I have achieved an hourglass figure without hormones.

spoilerTo be fair I have an bmi of like 15, but you gotta look at the good side of things.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (20 children)

I love having the desire to be sociable and meet tons of new people while simulatneously being freaked out and overwhelmed by meeting new people. I love the novelty and really do well in novel situations, but i have such little capacity for it; a week or two of that and I need 6-8 months of not talking to anyone cri

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I felt butterflies for the first time in over a decade today

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Partner and I decided to breakup but remain friends since LDR was becoming difficult.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

Is it normal to have people forget that you came out to them?

I always thought that coming out would yield more openness, like, "I want you to know about me, and I want to know about you".

I have no people I talk to regularly, the only former classmates have pretty much stopped reaching out after I came out to them. I'm scared to text anybody first but would happily respond if someone messaged me, like, damn. Like, how would I pick someone and what would I say to them? I need to plan what to say

I'm having fun reading about Lost Child Syndrome and realizing I'm completely fffffucked and may never have friends. Like, I don't think people think about friends the way that I do. You have to be stressed and work to make your friends like you. Anything easier than that is literal magic. It's not fun. Who said having friends is fun?

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

imagine how different the world would be if people had likened elon musk to sheldon cooper instead of iron man

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

I look so fucking good today. I'm really proud of my make-up β€” I tried a new-wave-ish style of dramatic eye makeup using red eyeshadow. I'm also wearing an outfit that I've had planned out in my head for the past week β€” it's a frilly white shirt with bright red pants. First day of classes and I'm a bit nervous but also excited!

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Sometimes I’ll be like β€œdo I even like women? I don’t think so lea-think” and then I’ll see a futch girl and I’ll be like β€œoh yeah crush”

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (3 children)

sexI reject the dom/sub distinction. It is all sex. It is all good theory-gary

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

what the fuck I had a passable voice like just last month but I think since I don't practice anymore and mostly hanging out with close ppl I trust to speak with my lower more comfortable voice, I lost progress and my voice sounds so bad now fuckkkk

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Something has shifted today. I’m going to make it.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (8 children)

ah fine, fuck it. if weight can't cycle down, then it's time to cycle it up. I can feel my tits crying out for something to build with and my ass could use more padding so fuck it. Had a big fuckin milkshake for lunch about it

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Labor Day but the posters still have to work.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (14 children)

bought a cute skirt and I'm excited for it to arrive

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (5 children)

I guess i really am just disposable kitty-cri-texas

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I think new yorkers should just start doing the accent again. like you can just fake it until it becomes natural, you can just do that

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

egghead I am swiftly moving toward a solution which pleases nobody!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (4 children)

My friend is going to help me call the student health center to set up an HRT appointment tomorrow. It's setting in that it's finally happening, I'm finally doing this. I can't help but wonder if the 4 year wait that's led up to this was made this lengthy because I was dealing with so much dissociation that I didn't realize was dissociation. I think I'm learning to reinhabit my brain.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (4 children)

My tummy and thighs are very squishable btw just so yall know

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (6 children)

A major pet peeve I have in fiction is when super smart characters can just predict the future in detail, especially when it relies on correctly guessing complete stranger's irrational choices. Like, that's just not how human intellect works?

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I wanted to go to a local queer meetup today, but my social anxiety and low self esteem stopped me. Idk how I'm ever gonna make new friends madeline-sadeline

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