472
submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
top 42 comments
sorted by: hot top new old
[-] [email protected] 103 points 10 months ago

Being grateful is pretty neat but make sure to reciprocate! - "Suck her clit every morning to thank her for choosing you" 🥰

[-] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago

“Flick that bean to let her know how much she means.”

[-] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago
[-] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

My girl doesn't like oral :(

But I love giving it so much it's actually a curse

[-] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago
[-] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Triplets I guess. Sometimes we trade of for other things I guess.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

This is a tragedy

[-] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

There are DOZENS of us.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago
[-] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Haha it's the job market all over again. How are ya going to get better at oral if you never get to practice?

[-] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

I think the original quote has more of a Weinstien implication but yours is a lot more wholesome

[-] [email protected] 91 points 10 months ago
[-] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

Nyahahahahahahah

[-] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago

Really? The america has a blowjob crisis lady?

[-] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

We're sexless and afraid.

[-] [email protected] 31 points 10 months ago

never expected oprah to say something i'd expect a self-proclaimed "alpha male" who's actually an incel to say. what a time to be alive...

[-] [email protected] 67 points 10 months ago

(psst it's not a real quote).

[-] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago

lol ate the onion again

in my defense, i still believe j.d. vance fucks couches

[-] [email protected] 30 points 10 months ago

You think Oprah has sucked a dick since becoming a billionaire?

[-] [email protected] 35 points 10 months ago

I wouldn't stop performing oral if I became a billionaire, why would anyone? It's fun.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago
[-] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

Do you think Queen Elizabeth sucked dick? These are the questions that plague me and keep me awake at night.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

I bet she was even more freaky than that. Rich people who come from a long line of rich people in a sexually repressed upper class are freaks man, for real.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

When it happens do you say " husband it is time for performing oral" and your husband says "why indeed it is time for performing oral how delightful."

[-] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

No, actually. Much dirtier words are used.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

I do t know them, and I mean no offense, but I’m guessing it would sound a little more akin to:

hhmmmmthhhhthhbnmmmmmmnpppppppphhhyyyyyyyyyyhhhttttttttttttssddshhshshshshssssssssssmmmsmsmsmsmmsmsssssppppppppppppwoooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppttfthhjhjjffffffffmmmmmmmmsmsmsmmssstthghhgggpop

But that’s just a guess.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Got Dat grapefruit game

[-] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago
[-] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Steadman sucks her dick.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Nah lemme consensually bust in that pussy every morning and we good. You don't even need to be up. We got the contract for this.

Shoutouts to TimeStop and FreeUse.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

I want to click the link, but not sure…

[-] DJDarren 11 points 10 months ago

Does this include my boss? Because I’m not opposed to it as such, but he might be.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

I need just a few minutes of Operahs time. 5 minutes tops. Just need her to tell this to my wife.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

This is like famous quotes on Norm MacDonald Live as read by Gilbert Gottfried

https://youtu.be/o3ZprSH0Y0U?si=NwPef1SuRZw7khAF

[-] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

That bit reminds me of this classic from the Onion:

https://www.bobcesca.com/the_onion_on_la/

[-] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

What if my employer is a woman?

[-] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

"Lickitongue, I choose youuuuuuuu!"

[-] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Was she talking about Dr. Oz or Dr. Phil?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

This regime whore prolly really thinks we all should suck her dick tbh since she is a hard working, bootstrapping boomer.

this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2024
472 points (94.5% liked)

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