I hate that stupid mouse

What the fuck. In a month I will have known I'm trans for 4 years. What the fuck.

Ranking labels by how comfortable I feel applying them to myself

Future woman, very comfortable.
Woman, depends on the moment. Right now it feels weird but sometimes is very comforting.
Lesbian, actually feels really comfortable. I suppose that makes sense, if I'm a woman I'm definitely attracted only to other women.
Trans, What might make less sense is it feels more weird to call myself trans. I know that if I'm a woman, I must be a trans one, but it still feels very weird.
lgbt/queer, And finally, possibly making the least sense, calling myself lgbt or queer is the most weird feeling label on this list.

I'm too terminally online to write an actual good, well formatted post but I feel more comfortable calling myself a women then I do trans, and calling myself lgbt feels even weirder. And that seems very odd to me.

The cis can't have petplay, right? I mean that isn't allowed, yes? I don't think I've ever seen cis petplayers, like maybe they exist but surely not?

I talked about it briefly in a server once and while all of the cissies were bewildered, many different varieties of trans users came out of the woodwork to discuss 'n' bark with me abt it.

Inconsistent sleeping sucks so bad, I'm trying to get some voice training and physical training but I don't know when I'll be available because Idk when I'll sleep next

Also, I should burn my diary soon

Started working on voice training day before yesterday. It's nice to have something to work on while I wait to see the clinic at the end of the month for HRT. Meeting a trans friend I recently made for coffee tomorrow. And going to a trans support group the night after. Hopefully that will help with things mentioned below.

i would like it to be later now

Bit idea: red scare but the McCarthyist is an egg and is paranoid that everyone is a sleeper agent trying to trans their gender.

I don't want to work another night bleh

I wanna call in sick. I'm done with night shifts. I've been doing this for 4 weeks

My gender identity is Giga chad smiling but a petite woman okay 🥺

Nerded:

I do not fucking like the autoscrolling bit in this chapter (8) where you have to bounce across ice platforms to ascend. You know the bit, with rigid fucking timing. I died 973 times.

I've been growing out my hair from a denial buzz cut for about 7 months (obviously for trans reasons).

My mom (who I think would be accepting but I'm not ready to come out to yet) has suggested I get a haircut. To be fair, it's not a bad idea since my hairstyle is currently just fluff, and I can't keep up the rejecting after having kept it short my whole life while also having no clue about the hairstyle I actually want (how am I supposed to pick something that isn't genderfuckery?)

What kind of style can I get at a barber (not outing myself obviously) with wavy/curly hair that I can still use to boymode as a college student that also allows me to keep growing some length?

Sorry for dumping this, don't know anywhere else to ask 🥺

I started writing a song this week and Im really happy with how its turning out, wish music wasnt so identifiable because Id love to show it off to youse (i also have a lot of sappy trans songs lol)

I want to get into the routine of discovering new music again. Maybe I’ll incentivize myself by trying to post a song a day on the trans mega that feels gender to me.

https://i.imgur.com/jOseqQY.png

https://canvas.fediverse.events/#x=196&y=362&zoom=8&tu=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FjOseqQY.png&tw=500&tx=0&ty=0&ts=DOTTED_BIG

https://canvas.fediverse.event

uWu :3

cant believe the amount of times ive had to move because people were erasing my work :(

I need my ~~daily~~ hourly dose of trans vibes!

my roommate: "hey estradoll have you seen the mail key?"

me, setting down my copy of "2020's Women Fashion Absolute Basics For Dumbshit Trans Girls Who Gave Up Being Cis Five Minutes Ago" with the title emblazoned in a comically large font in front: "oh yeah, I left it in my pocket, sorry"

Just kind of complaining here, but the one local trans support / meetup group here has been cancelled every time for the last month+. Apparently the org that runs it doesn't have enough facilitators. Which, like, I get that people are busy but it's two hours twice a month. And they've only been announcing the cancellation last minute on Facebook.

Last week, I showed up without seeing the announcement. I wasn't the only one either, there was a whole series of vaguely nervous looking queers who came up to try the locked door and the immediately slunk away. At this point Im not sure I need a support group that much. Like I have some irl trans friends and I'm fully out and all that. But some of them might have been really struggling and it's super shitty to just cancel the group like that.

I wish I was more confident, I would start my own group lol.

When you work up a sweat with your significant other

I've said this before, but it really is incredible how much I want that darn shark plushie.

i just want to go swimming

I know I don't need to think about getting a new name right now but I am anyway. So I was looking at people talking about picking their new names and it's all like "Well I picked [extremely cute and unique name, but not too unique or unusual] because it aligns with my star sign, my grandmother's middle name (who I loved dearly but passed away when I was a child), means all of these things in these cultures that tie to who I am, and lines up with my winning lottery ticket numbers."

And I'm like "[common name for people my age] sounds cute"

edit: oh wow I was 666 and didn't even write about Satan. Well here it is, dudes rock. I can't stand up to anyone about anything and here's this dude fighting god for thousands of years. What a guy.

Maybe the bullet was combined with the gender change potion from Terraria is actually had the goal of transing Trump's gender instead of killing. Guess we'll just have to wait and see.