this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2024
650 points (97.9% liked)

Microblog Memes

5793 readers
2394 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 48 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 232 points 4 months ago (10 children)
[–] [email protected] 130 points 4 months ago (2 children)

It looks like somewhere along the way it caught the scent of a black hole.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 4 months ago (2 children)

When people think your pretty ant eater is a dog...

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

Mr. Snuffleupapup

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

It honestly looks like it came from the muppets, so I don't blame them

[–] [email protected] 42 points 4 months ago (1 children)

If you cross that with a pug, do you get a normal dog?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago

Maybe something that looks like a shaggy aardvark with a curly tail.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Joe deez nuts lmao gottem

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago

My sister once said they look like the ghost of another dog that died

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"Remain wary of the frailty of men. Their wills are weak, minds young. Were it not for fear, death would go unlamented."

"Seek the old blood."

"Let us pray, let us wish... to partake in communion. Let us partake in communion... and feast upon the old blood. Our thirst for blood satiates us, soothes our fears."

"Seek the old blood."

"But beware the frailty of men. Their wills are weak, minds young. The foul beasts will dangle nectar and lure the meek into the depths."

"Remain wary of the frailty of men..."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

I came here for this

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Let me do it for youuuuu

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Look at this dood

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Gosh, I thought mine had a bad overbite. Derpiness max factor unlocked.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Jesus christ

[–] [email protected] 98 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 62 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Those snouts change so much too.

[–] [email protected] 101 points 4 months ago (4 children)

It's because they are all compulsive liars.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 4 months ago

I read this, moved on, then came back like 3 minutes later to upvote. Slow brain but great joke.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Confirmed. My Borzoi lies continually, especially to "have you eaten yet?" And "who made this mess?!"

She gives you that Russian side-eye.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

It's okay if they do it when they're sleeping, though.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Is that why they don't wear pants?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

He's like a cartoon dog come to life!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago

Hey, people can understand this post now, with this context. That is illegal on Lemmy and you will be arrested shortly.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 4 months ago

Giving my kid a borzoi puppy, then every day pinching his nose and tail and tugging on them a little bit, to convince my kid I'm stretching the dog out like taffy.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I just read War and Peace for the first time last year. There's a section in the book involving hunting with borzois, and the narrator mentions that one of the characters paid a family of serfs for his best dog. He didn't pay money to a serf family - the cost of the dog was a serf family. Imagine that sort of bullshit if you're a serf.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

Sounds right. There's that British family that was caught underpaying their staff do much, they spent more on their dog

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Fuck's sake those serfs can be trained to hunt too, what a waste

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (2 children)

if i'm going to be sold for anything, a dog is probably the only option that wouldn't make me feel miserable

so long as they take care of the good boy

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Well, it was a good girl in the book, but don't worry - she wasn't treated like a serf.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

i mean as much as anyone can be these days, yes?

not sure what about that joke is worrisome given the general standard online..

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Nothing about the joke is worrisome to me.

I just had a hunch I should ask. False alarm, I guess.

Have a nice day :)

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Borzoi's are the sweetest dogs too. Like most sighthounds, they are very gentle/calm/lazy

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

I have never met a more gentle dog than an American Doberman Pinscher. They look big and intimidating, and I guess they can be if you're their enemy, but they're so very sweet and gentle with their family. They have such soft mouths and they're so considerate and polite with their people.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

TBH that puppy doesn't look that normal. Basically every breed's puppy looks something like this:

Round head, short snout. Chihuahuas, Pitbulls, Labradors, all the same shape. Obviously size and fur patterns will vary, but if I saw an infant puppy with such a long snout as OP's image I would be very much aware that it would have an enormously long face as it developed.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I once matched with a girl on a dating app who told me that borzois' faces look like David Duchovny's and I can't unsee it

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

I love borzois but lol

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

*nasal tone of woof intensifies*