Survey Monkey?

The 2000 Presidential election broke America.

Yeah, I always get them mixed up. Them garlic bullets don't do shit anyway.

Looks like the cartoon version of the Looksmaxxing dude. Even down to the self-inflicted cheekbone damage.

I've always wanted to see a mashup of "Firestarter" with Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire".

We didn't start the fire (I'm the firestarter).
No we didn't light it but we're trying to fight it (twisted firestarter)

Whillikers! It's so big.

Two books everybody should read are Witness to a Century by George Seldes and War is a Racket by Smedley Butler. You would think these books are about today's world but they're actually about shit going down a hundred or more years ago. It's strangely heartening to think that the United States has always sucked this bad.

I know, right? Fucking vampires.

I wrote mobile apps for Blackberry back in the day. As part of their security fixation, all library modules you incorporated had to be signed as your app was compiling, even if you were just testing out a single line change. This could make your app take upwards of a whole hour to sign, if the signing servers were even up and running at all; they were often down completely which meant I could go home and get high instead of working. Which is why I never badmouthed Blackberry to my bosses.

The absurdity of having every module signed meant that I had to think long and hard about whether I wanted to use built-in library functionality or just roll my own code. For one UI I needed to use trigonometry functions. These were located (logically or not) in one of the encryption modules which were especially prone to taking a long time to sign, so I ended up writing my own sin()function (in Java) just to save myself ten minutes of compilation time.

They're making so much money that they're still opening Starbuckses across the street from Startbuckses. Make it make sense.

I'll pledge allegiance to the Constitution -- y'know, like politicians and judges do when they're sworn in to office. The flag hasn't even been the same damn thing for all 250 years.

One under-appreciated aspect of leaf design is that in addition to being able to spread out and absorb sunlight, they also need to be of a shape such that in a strong wind they tend to curl up on themselves and provide a minimum of wind resistance. Otherwise their collective sail effect would tend to uproot the tree. Fortunately, there are lots of beautiful ways to solve these related problems.