No way in hell I could buy a new car. They cost more than my house.
Hire a bunch of people to create the illusion of growth. Fire a bunch of people to create the illusion of ruthless efficiency. Rinse and repeat.
I had a coworker who got stopped for DUI at 3 AM and blew a .032. Somehow she was allowed to go home and was at work at 6:30 that same morning. Unremarkable except I'm a school bus driver, so she was driving kids three and a half hours after blowing a .032.
She was suspended and after two weeks she was allowed to resign, so she is presumably still driving kids somewhere else. The reason for this is we're unionized (Teamsters) and she was the shop steward, which made firing her very difficult. I've very pro-union but GOD DAMN there are some aspects to unions that just fucking suck.
My first brand-new car was a '90 Nissan Sentra, back when Sentras were the absolute bottom of Nissan's product line. It had AC but the car basically couldn't accelerate with it on unless I was going downhill. Unfortunately I lived in Florida (no hills) so I drove around with no AC. In Florida. This was bad enough but also the windows were hand-cranked so I just left them down all the time. That car was a soggy mess and I kept getting shit stolen.
There's a guy in my town who keeps a herd of goats and rents them out for brush clearance. I assume his neighbors hate it but there seems to be nothing they can do about it. I've been meaning to ask him if he sells goat meat.
I had an Indian friend who flew from Florida home to Bombay, via Heathrow and New Delhi. As he was waiting there for his luggage he glanced down at his shirt pocket and noticed part of a joint sticking out.
I have this thing called a utili-key, which is a 6-in-1 multitool that folds up into the shape of a key. I've flown with it numerous times, TSA never even had a clue it was on my keyring. I went to one fucking Philadelphia 76ers game and they confiscated it. Perfectly encapsulates TSA.
I want to say he's mistaking it for the Belgian Congo, but he would have loved that place.
The fourth was extremely embarrassing as well, although who cares at that point. There's a defender there watching Lukaku literally flat-footed, even though there was nobody else around for him to guard.
At least with the header we had two defenders closely marking the guy, even though that just made it an even more spectacular goal.
What amuses me is the soccer fans here who think we're going to get better. I first encountered this in '94 when we (the US) hosted the world cup and got spanked by a Brazil team playing with 10 players. It's like Indians saying they're going to be good at basketball soon (they aren't, because they love cricket).
I had a friend who used to help out an old lady like this in his neighborhood. She had no children and when she died she left him a couple million dollars and her house. He had no idea she had anything.
Mine was $300 (a '76 Rabbit) and a couple of weeks later I got rear-ended and his insurance company totaled my car and gave me a $700 check. The car wasn't any worse than before I got hit and I drove it another three years, so -$400 for three years of car.