God damn, is there any bad news at all from yesterday's voting?

Make your own! ThatDudeCanCook on youtube has a great video on making your own kebab meat.

Annie, are you Oakley? Are you Oakley, Annie?

Saudi Arabia let Idi Amin live out the last couple of decades of his life in undeserved peace. Not that there's any kind of link between Saudi Arabia and Republicans ...

I haven't written a line of code since 2019. I have an old iOS project that I want to revive, but I genuinely wonder if I still have the ability to do anything with it. Fortunately, my motivation has tanked even harder than my programming skills.

I was a programmer for 25 years. I always figured I could have made a contribution to AI research, but the opportunity never came up (I was too busy writing Skype clones for cable companies and ISPs that were never used by anyone). I regretted this for a long time, but not any more. I never imagined AI would be this fucking bad, "bad" in the sense of bad for humanity and just plain bad as a product.

we are leaving Texas in far better shape than it’s ever been

Yes, that's always why an incumbent loses 60-40. Because they just did too great a job running the place.

I don't know how it tastes, I just use it to clean my Corinthian leather.

"Splitter!"

I have a whole bag of those things and I can't even remember what dish I ordered them for. Some kind of Iranian stew, I think.

My mom for some reason always gave out little bags of pretzels. Most of the kids just had this sad look of disappointment, but occasionally you'd get a kid that was super-excited to get pretzels.

Obama said something about 53 states.

He was making an Insane Clown Posse reference.