Why is our power source named "the demon core"?

At my first professional programming job workspace was tight so I was given a desk in the server room. This room was kept at 59°F because mainframes that the company didn't even have any more required it. It sucked -- I had to wear fingerless Oliver Twist gloves all day. I blame the cold for my executing a DELETE query without a WHERE clause on the production database. "Why is this taking so long?" I muttered through blue lips.

Damn, I thought country music had already reached the bottom.

It has its nose stuck between Robert Kraft's butt cheeks.

Counterpoint: I'm the firestarter. Twisted firestarter.

I always thought those two songs would make a great mashup.

I read that username as "msrachelfortitties".

There is no brown person in America that thinks themselves white

My two cousins are half-Thai but thanks to the genetic dice they both look vaguely central american. They got abused quite a bit growing up both for being asian and for being "mexican". This taught them empathy for others who ... lol just kidding. They're both trump-loving white supremacists who rant against immigrants despite their own mother being an immigrant from Thailand.

I get at least one call a day from people offering cash for my house. You've given me a good idea for a response: "I'd like to sell, but I'm actually dead."

The electrical… Ugh

My house came with a 100A box with six breakers, all unlabeled. One of them did nothing at all when I flipped it, another produced a loud humming for three or four seconds before tripping off. I still don't know what the humming was but when I rebuilt one of the walls I found a big scorch mark on the stud next to one of the outlet boxes so I suspect that was involved. The one that did nothing it turns out was connected to an MC cable that had simply been sawed off clean -- not even some electrical tape wrapped around the cut end -- and jammed down into the framing completely live. At least I was able to repurpose that one into a circuit with receptacles and lights in the attic.

I'm normally an UTZ rippled chips guy but I tried those kettle chips a couple of weeks ago. They were ass. I dunno, maybe I got a stale batch or something.

I prefer lobotomy, but then I always did idolize the Kennedys.

Elon Musk seems like a genius up until he starts talking about something you’re familiar with

He seems like a moron even when he's talking about things I know nothing about. There's a video on youtube of him giving a tour of SpaceX's museum of past rockets that they've launched, and he's talking about how they've reduced the "fiddly bits" on the outside of the rockets over the years.