[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 1 points 10 hours ago

Musk has real friends ... they just wear ghutras.

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 3 points 11 hours ago

Man, could we have one black superhero without "Black" in their name?

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 6 points 11 hours ago

My favorite part of that bill was allowing mobile homes to be built without the "mobile" part (the permanent chassis). So you can buy a shitty manufactured home and then be completely under the power of the trailer park that rents you your parking spot.

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

I prefer Melon Husk.

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'm a school bus driver. A couple of years ago a first grader said "mister bus driver, I don't want to offend you but your ears stick out like an elf's". Long story short, I ended up telling him there is no Santa Claus. My favorite part of this story is the absolute unmitigated horror it evokes in most people when I tell it, like I hit the kid with a cattle prod or something.

Clinton did not step down because he got a blowjob. He did not step down at all, in fact.

There's actually more than one "Redline Realty" in this country, surprisingly enough.

I thought the "scalp him" clip was actually from The Office.

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I used to work for Cisco ... or so I'm told. What happened was that my original small-ish company (25 US employees and 100 offshore employees) was acquired by a larger company (about 1000 employees mostly in Scandinavia) that made network equipment and was a minor competitor of Cisco. My original company provided programmer consultants (like me) to various companies and was acquired by the Scandinavian company because they had written a client-customizable Skype clone app that clients were actually unable to customize to their satisfaction.

I had a fun couple of years customizing this app using a language and framework I had no experience with, while battling with the Scandinavian programmers who hated me and everything I stood for and not only refused to help me but actively sabotaged everything I was doing. Fortunately, these custom versions were for various ISPs and cable companies who offered them as free come-ons to their customers and they were never actually used by anybody. Also I worked remote from home the entire time, which my cats appreciated.

Then the new company was allegedly acquired by Cisco. I got a new work laptop in the mail, but never visited any kind of Cisco office in person and was never assigned any tasks whatsoever. After six months my manager called me and said that I and everyone else from the original small company was being laid off. I laughed and said of course we were. He was shocked that I was so accepting of it and surprised that I seemed to have known it was coming; apparently my co-workers didn't think doing fucking nothing for six months was a bad sign. I did actually get a severance package for the first and only time in my career. However, it was almost to the penny equal to the value of the unemployment I could have collected, but the severance meant I wasn't eligible for unemployment. Oh well, saved me the hassle of pretending to look for another job.

It was pretty clear that Cisco bought my second company just to dispose of a minor competitor.

Later I learned that my mother thought I had been working for Sysco (the food services conglomerate) the entire time. I had to go back and check my emails to see if that had actually been the case.

I bought a used school bus for $3600 on eBay to turn into a motorhome ("skoolie"). Best $50,000 I ever spent.

I walked into a Subway one time after a ride wearing my lycra bike shorts and jersey. Some little boys saw me, hiked their shorts up to give themselves wedgies, and started dancing around me like the dwarfs in This is Spinal Tap during the "Stonehenge" scene. Everybody in the place was laughing. I laughed as well and never went into a store again wearing my bike shorts. Kink-shaming can be a force for good.

3
view more: next ›

ChickenLadyLovesLife

0 post score
0 comment score
joined 3 years ago