They do restrict airflow, so if you suck the same way on an unfiltered cig it'll fuck you up. But if you think they make you less likely to get cancer or lung disease, there's absolutely no evidence of that.

I'm a school bus driver! It's a great gig because on school days I have plenty of time for a 25 mile ride between my morning and afternoon runs, and on weekends and in the summer I have enough time for a 50 every morning.

Maybe you could tow your kids in one of those deathtraps some people use? I dunno, kids always look so fucking miserable in those things.

Ironically, Marlboro started out as a brand targeted at women (which was true of all the original filtered cigarettes). It was only later rebranded for macho men.

Lot of fun facts about filtered cigarettes, like the fact that they don't filter shit and are actually just filled with chemicals that turn them brown when exposed to smoke so that people think they're doing something. Also fun: the earliest filters contained asbestos.

If we remember that we evolved as persistence hunters

Some fun facts: Grover Krantz -- the guy who first posited the "running man" theory -- was better-known as a staunch believer in the existence of Bigfoot. Also, his skeleton and the skeleton of his favorite dog are on display at the Smithsonian for some reason.

Personally, I can't believe anybody could possibly believe in Bigfoot. It's obviously just a Yeti in a gorilla suit.

vigorous exercise provokes a lot of hunger

I've always found the opposite to be true but YMMV. My periods of weight gain have always resulted from eating out of boredom; the cycling I do (25 to 50 miles per day) improves my mental state and I don't feel the same urge to constantly snack.

I've gotta say, biking in NW Louisiana / E Texas was fucking fantastic. I could do 60 mile rides on country roads and not see a human being the entire time. And there were only a couple of months every year where the heat would kill you.

I usually watch recorded episodes of Antiques Roadshow while riding my exercycle. I have no idea why that works but it does.

I bike 50 miles a day (in summer, at least) and I fucking hate getting passed by the guys that look like they're in their 80s. I just tell myself they're on an e-bike, which might even be true sometimes.

What is wrong with good old-fashioned cocaine?

I have this fear that he died of COVID during his first term and was replaced by a (much younger) imitator and deepfakes.

Whatever sense of self-importance a person has can't survive the first day spent snaking shit out of a sewer pipe.

My cat was a great mouser. Unfortunately, she would only eat the top/front half of the mouse -- leaving a little bit of spine sticking out -- and then put the rest on my pillow next to my head while I was asleep. Let's just say that scene in The Godfather Part I hits home.