A weave is attached to remnants of real hair. There's no fucking way there's any real hair coming out of that head unless it's his eyebrows, ears or nose.

Universal Basic Bribe

The Republican strategy for decades was to target fifth-grade intelligence. Trump's political innovation was to target third-grade intelligence.

Because he is literally a human loyalty test.

I don’t think the GOP should be allowed to attend any event with a crowd

On the other hand, if this rule had been implemented we'd still have Charlie Kirk with us.

They have like nine different types of eyes. Even that tail is an eye of sorts, covered with photoreceptors.

He never reads it, though. Because the pages are stuck together.

"This is my son Kevlar."

That's a pithy statement!

transfer his consciousness to one of these kids

On the plus side, it wouldn't really be his consciousness so he would be dead. On the negative side, it would be a consciousness exactly like his so it would still be a problem for the other seven billion people on the planet.

Prompt engineer? No, prompt whore.

Lenin came to power via coup and secret police arresting and murdering the Socialist Revolutionaries.

Not to mention the assistance of Germany in helping him return to Russia.