My strategies have been:

1. be big
2. be mean
3. immediately “go for the throat”
4. oh shit oh fuck 1-3 don’t apply outside of childhood
5. present their actions as extremely anti-social, and in doing so build a united front of people who are sick of their bullshit. In general bullies are cowards who are supported by cowards, and thus their supporters are easily won over by posing as a “strongman” figure they can get behind because they think that person will “win”. Without their base, bullies change their tactics because it’s all an attention-seeking front. This then throws them off their game because their confidence is based on a single approach (they’re not typically bright), which means they’re doing something they’re uncomfortable with. Once you’ve identified what that is, spread it through gossip so everyone knows it’s a weak point, then be the first to call them out on it in public. Boom. Now you’re the alpha with a pack, and they’re the beta with a…..sack? (Oh yeah, also leave a burning sack of shit by their home)

Why and in what capacity are you expected to interact with middle/high school students in this way?

Edit: Like for real, are you asking this as a middle/high school student yourself? Because if not then there’s no reason you should “roasting” anybody. And even if you are then whoever gave you that advice originally sounds like a literal child.

The main way to stand up against bullies is to make friends to the point where your posse outnumbers the bullies. Unless the bullies have personal beef against you, they'll usually pick another target instead of trying to take on an entire group of people at once.

Gray rock can work, just be completely numb to everything they say, don't react at all, ignore them even, no matter how in your face they get. They're looking for a reaction. Especially if they're with their buddies, no matter how good of a "comeback" you give them, by even playing their game, you've already lost.

The other option is breaking noses, but as Nakoichi said, it has mixed results.

Don't try to be a martyr and act like a sponge for the bullies' attention, in order to "save others." It won't change a thing, the bullies will still bully others and you will end up with severe psychological trauma the rest of your life.

The point in any case is to show them that you aren't a worthwhile target to bully. It's an unfortunate fact about our schooling system in the west that bullies can thrive and receive no comeuppance. The administration isn't your friend in this matter. They'll do whatever they can to make it "not their problem" rather than actually solving the problem. All you can do is either be too boring or too dangerous to bully. There has never been a situation in the real world where giving the "perfect comeback" shuts the bully up. That only happens in movies because it is cathartic and what people wish would happen. It never will, all you can do is make sure they don't bully you.

It really depends on context. The best defense against bullies is to just have other people who will have your back.

But what is the bullying?

Well I can tell you how I dealt with them but breaking someone's nose in school has mixed results.

Make tough friends. Burn eachother constantly. Be tough. Take classes on fighting. Build your confidence. Be funny if you can.

Bullies aren’t all the insecure assholes tv makes them out to be. Some people are just dicks and you have to be able to defend yourself mentally and physically. And sometimes you’ll lose. That’s okay though, because every time you lose it just makes you tougher and you can learn from your mistakes.

Very funny that everyone is just picturing this thread as you wanting to fight a middle school bully.

imagining this

You tell them their breath stinks, that shit works every time

This is situational and depends on the person you're beefing with, but the funniest roast I ever heard in school was a kid saying another dude had a "head like third-form Frieza"

Literally trying to kick them in the nuts works. You might get your ass beat, but they'll also see you as too much trouble to mess with later. It's not fun, but in my experience you have to literally fight them. It doesn't matter if you win or lose.

Kramer is dominating the dojo

wtf

Depending on the situation just roast back. You can also just call someone out for being a dickhead in a crowd.

Just say "Why do you have to be such a dick?" and don't back down, if they keep going, just keep asking the question. If you do that in a crowd, you'll get them to either acknowledge them being a dick or back down.

If the bullying is isolated, start with leaving and trying to get to a crowd so you can pull off step one, or just leaving. If that's not an option and they're being aggressive, pop them with a sucker punch or a kick to the genitals then ask them again.

If you're able to get them to bite on the "Why are you being a dick" approach, just maintain a jovial demeanor and laugh at their responses until they stop. You having that attitude puts them on the backfoot in a social setting because people naturally side with the more calm/laughing person.

Basically turn their bullying into a weakness and take the high road.

If it's adults acting like teenage bullies, tell them to grow the fuck up

As with many things. There are many answers but one? Know the right people. I was never super popular at school but I did know and hang with some of the popular kids cause I took part in theater plays and I also was good at sports. Highschool politics are bullshit but if you can play them its pretty easy not to be at the bottom of the food chain.

Is there anything wrong with telling them they're assholes, why they're assholes, and vividly describing gruesome ways you think they should die until they get uncomfortable and leave them alone?

My favorite go-to is "your family tree must be a straight line"