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this post was submitted on 28 May 2025
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askchapo
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Why and in what capacity are you expected to interact with middle/high school students in this way?
Edit: Like for real, are you asking this as a middle/high school student yourself? Because if not then there’s no reason you should “roasting” anybody. And even if you are then whoever gave you that advice originally sounds like a literal child.
I wasn't very clear and edited the title. I probably haven't interacted with actual public school students for years now. I just mean 10-20 year old levels because I never started socializing in environments where I'm allowed to talk back until the past few years, and i need to start somewhere. I don't talk to middle to highschool aged kids. A lot of adults act that young and dehumanize me in the style of lame kids.
Lame isn’t a very kind word to use in this context, but I understand what you mean.
Damarcusart gave you some solid advice. Personally I do not think “gray rocking” is a good idea. I’ve seen kids and adults get beaten up for not responding to bullies. I like what they said about not being an easy target or being a dangerous target. I think the latter offers more protection for yourself though. Bullies and assholes of all kinds respond to one thing most of all, social pressure. If you are able to put a group of people around you who agree that this roasting thing is nonsense, you’ll be safe. If you isolate yourself then you make yourself an easy target. Make friends with people who are kind to you and make you feel safe.
Why is it not kind? Is Lame an offensive word in any way?
Majority of the time when im bullied, I haven't been with friends or even strangers. I typically get covertly abused when bullies find themselves alone with me. I want to discourage immature behavior and not allow them to try to get me to absorb their own sense of shame for them. A little roasting is good I think when it comes to covert abusers. Usually there's no mortal danger, just shame slinging. In such cases, I want to hand the shame back into the hands it belongs it. Nothing further.
Lame can be read as an ableist term. Pretty simple.
As others have said, there’s nothing you say back to them that’s going to make a bully feel ashamed of themselves. They’ll change their behavior if they realize bullying is socially detrimental to themselves. If you’re alone with this person(s) don’t play along with the roasting. Keep your conversations about work or whatever. If they come at you with some bullshit, give them the ‘ol “Sure buddy” and move on.
But probably most importantly is to talk about them to other people. Tell others you think it’s weird and childish what they’re doing. Ingratiate yourself with their friends. Ask, “Why is this person doing that? What’s wrong with them?” You’re not taking the moral high ground here, you’re using social pressure to tell your bully to fuck right the hell off.
Oh okay. Not lame then. More specifically pathetically mean treatment by underdeveloped downpunchers.
I'm not sure what to think of the rest of what you said. I'll digest it more later.
Yeah I get you. I was homeschooled for most of my life after I beat the breaks off some racist and homophic bully in kindergarten.