I'm gonna choose the side effect and you choose the power:
"I ___, but only when I'm hard."
am the world's greatest kindergarten teacher
Can revive the dead
"I'm gonna explain everything later, just don't interfere."
Shapeshifting
It hurts extremely because your whole body is physically altered.
Worth it.
You shift by magically turning yourself inside out ass first
Ability to make cheese at will.
Teleportation
Every time you do it, you land on a poop
You can only teleport your body. Meaning you will always arrive naked.
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
Granted, but your momentum is teleported with you. The earth is hurtling through space at over 100,000 km and you are on its -spinning- surface subjected to multiple momentum influences constantly.
Keep it to short distances and you might be ok, but with distance comes chaos.
Super strength
You fart continuously while using it.
Have my nose grow every time I lie
but it's flaccid
Mind reading
It turns out nobody really thinks often enough for you to get any information
When you read someone's mind you involuntarily blurt out everything you read.
The ability to get my DnD group to have a sensible, routine schedule, with no cancelations.
They are always completely distracted and on their phones the whole time.
Flying
Extreme fear of heights
Neural typical ignoramus is what I choose. I'd like to be able to ignore what's happening in my country and be happy like a bunch of these dumbassss
With the snap of my fingers I can instantly cause the death of authoritarian dictators.
You're one of those people who can't click their fingers.
The ability to change the probability of events happening
You can only make things worse
Controlling time to undo mistakes i have done in the past
But only spelling or grammar mistakes.
Bullet poops
the bullets fire whether your sphincter is open or not
Speed up or slow down time at will
I can upvote or downvote as many times as I want
only you see it
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