I'm gonna choose the side effect and you choose the power:
"I ___, but only when I'm hard."
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Shapeshifting
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It hurts extremely because your whole body is physically altered.
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You shift by magically turning yourself inside out ass first
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Ability to make cheese at will.
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Teleportation
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Your arms take an extra hour to arrive after each teleportation (yes, this delay stacks). You don't bleed from this, but you have stub arms in the meantime.
Every time you do it, you land on a poop
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Super strength
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You fart continuously while using it.
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Have my nose grow every time I lie
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but it's flaccid
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Mind reading
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It turns out nobody really thinks often enough for you to get any information
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The ability to get my DnD group to have a sensible, routine schedule, with no cancelations.
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