this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 226 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 207 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 107 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Man April first escaped me completely. Nobody tried a single joke on me this year.

Not American. People seem to be just getting more and more tired regardless of country.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Every April fools joke I encountered this year seemed to make me mad. Maybe I just feel now isn't a time to be joking, even though unfortunately it's likely the most important time for a laugh.

Problem is all the people making the jokes have a shit sense of humour.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

It hasn't been time to joke for the last 10 years it feels like

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

ChrisFix did a Tesla oil change video. LockPickingLawyer has a one eyed monster.

ChrisFix has never seemed political in any way so I'm assuming the video was prepared and potentially filmed before all the DOGE controversy and maybe even before whole nazi salute thing. It was certainly a very high quality video that must've taken a long time to make.

Other than these two, I've not even seen a joke. Those videos at least are jokes that aren't at anyone else's expense.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I never owned an EV before in my life. and until today I thought they require oil change, because the engine.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I can see one thinking that, gotta lubricate and cool something right? But nah electrics tend to do 1 motor in each wheel

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

1 motor in each wheel is ultra high end. 1-2 motors is most common.

They're lubricated too, but the lube is supposed to be actual lifetime lube and isn't the same as engine oil

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah the lube they use would be closer the machine oil than automotive oil

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Now you know one reason why GM Killed The Electric Car

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

When everythin feels like a joke, you stop caring as much

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago

Oh yeah. Not being on whatever that spezhole is anymore, I forgot all the fun, . . . really fun hijinks that go on.

Given this ain’t a joke it’s really not far to get to the OP

But, yep, fair enough. Ha ha.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Oooh. That was yesterday.

[–] [email protected] 203 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I unironically would rather FFmpeg be in charge of, well, anything instead of Musk.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 3 weeks ago

FFmpreg would be even better.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 weeks ago

FFmpeg crashes: unfortunate
SpaceX crashes: dangerous

[–] [email protected] 64 points 3 weeks ago

Finally, something I can get behind.

Checks calendar

Well, shit.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

They should rewrite it in Rust.

[–] blarth 14 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Until goobleblobble comes out, then we have to rewrite in that. And so on, until the end of time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

It's not memory safe.

What was the language again?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

I vote for gobblebobble!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago

Jk! Unless...

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Excellente!! Soon my 64kbps mp3 file from FrostWire can be converted to 320 kbps with 96kbps quality!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago

Probably the only good April Fool's joke I saw anywhere this year. Stuff is bleak.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

I'm sure there's no way this could go catastrophically wrong and that my SSDI income will be fine.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Lossy social security encoding.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Eh, nobody will care about some bits being lost there, I'm sure

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago

Wrong choice, I'd advice the use of COBOL-on-Wheelchair

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

If it's 8086 or Z80 I can help!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

Final Fantasy Mpreg

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Not sure if I get the joke, is FFmpeg considered slow? That's the only angle I can think of for the joke to work... am I missing something?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

DOGE said they're going to rewrite the existing SSA code, which is done in COBOL, to modernize it, and everyone is pointing out how fraught with peril that is. This is saying they're going to do it in assembly, which is what we do when we need highly efficient code, like for a resource-constrained real-time control system, but is also much more challenging to program. The chance of rewriting a giant COBOL application in Assembly, and not making a whole mess of errors, is really small. And it would be very hard to maintain.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Also assembly is even older than COBOL.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I’m unsure if this is also an April fools joke

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

In broad terms it's true, though there are some variants of assembly that are newer than COBOL.

Assembly language is one step above machine code, and was the first large step toward a world where people write server-side code in Javascript.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Assembly is a way of writing machine code, but with words and hexideci numbers instead of 1s and 0s and comments/white space, it's barely a language, from the 40s.

COBOL is a compiled language from the 60s. The compiler turns the somewhat human-readable code into assembly the computer can read.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

it's barely a language

Maybe barely, but I imagine most assembly variants have conveniences like labels for jumps, labels for referencing data included in the executable, and at least some also have things like simple macros or calculating mathematical expressions at compiletime.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Assembly isnt a single language though. I could write assembly for riscv or a recent arm ISA and that would be quite new.

I wondered if maybe "assembly" gets used to mean x86 but apparently thats a bunch newer than COBOL so I dont think Im being pedantic :)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Just get the guy that made rollercoaster Tycoon in Assembly, he'll knock it over in a week.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago

I believe you’re overthinking it. The only relation to the project is likely that they have assembly language developers on the team to help implement accelerated format conversions.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

Man let's just stick to tweet. This whole x thing is too silly even for April fools.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

I should add that the FFmpeg team is quite proud of the fact that they write in C and Assembly for peak performance. They mention it a lot, and so they did here.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Government helplines about to get 1000% more hostile and standoffish.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

64k scene but with suits.

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