this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025

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Trans Megathread from January 27th, 2024 to February 2nd, 2024 (lemmygrad.ml)

submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

620 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hiiii!

Today: a short yap about computer hardware:

Damn I love the AM4 socket its so upgradable yay, bought a Ryzen 9 5900X for our old desktop soon to be homelab and so excited for it.

Computers are fun! ~~(and expensive)~~

Join our public Matrix server!

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

In the process of getting a therapist. Hoping to hear back this week!

Venting, Probably Insane

I had a bad day yesterday. Really lost my cool, lost my glasses then got frustrated with my brother over text trying to talk about it. I hit a level in my emotions that I am not comfortable with, so I need to change.

My new glasses were like, part of feminizing my appearance, so it's upsetting not to have them. Glasses are the only thing protecting others from my intense yet forlorn stare. They help me see, also.

I guess I got caught up in assuming that just because my brother is also trans, that he would like, be more understanding of this or something. He came out 10 years younger than I am. He had our parents. Nobody knows what I dealt with in high school, and they'll never ask.

I worry more and more that everyone in my life likes their Quiet Little Brother who Doesn't Speak, and don't have a ton of room for that to change. I feel like I have to work 150% to match other people's social competency in most settings. So speaking of my needs is just really hard.

It's hurtful to call someone your favorite person and then just keep them in a little box and disregard their emotions and their problems when they get too big. You can at least say you don't want to talk about it. That'd be a step up.

Equally fun is processing that I'm probably autistic and have an entire other theater to wage war on in terms of understanding myself.

So yeah, I feel completely out of my element in just about every way imaginable. I'm hoping that therapy will help.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

spoiler

Aww, losing your glasses suck. I wore my boy glasses for a while, even after socially transitioning and starting hormons but it was absolutely more feminizing when I picked girl glasses. I should've got girl glasses so much earlier, lol

You've never talked about your highschool stuff on here before, I don't think. Did you want to vent about it? I have no idea if dredging it up with make you feel worse or better. Personally, I was a little upset my mom never knew how much I was struggling with my gender and identity during highschool. On the one hand, fair, I didn't really know until I was like 25 and in hindsight it was obvious. On the other, that was my mom... someone I had hoped who could've seen.

For me, I learned to keep my problems small and not take up space. My brother and my sister had way huge needs, emotional, physical. I felt I was doing my part (like starting before kindergarten) by not talking about my stuff. When I talk to her about it now, she finds it painful and sometimes shuts it down. I've told her I didn't like my childhood and she cried, I didn't mean to hurt her but it was true. I've talked to her about how having children was an obvious mistake for her, she should never have had me at 18 years old to a guy she barely knew and that while I guess I was thankful cause I exist, to not expect any of me or my siblings to have their own children considering what we had grown up with - in response to talking about grandkids, her youth etc. I remember opening up a photo album she kept, I saw her jumping on a bed, fresh faced 18. My dad had taken the photo and it was their first apartment together. All I could feel was "get out get out you should not be there leave" but of course, as much as I could have wished for that, it all happened.

Anyway, even when I was very little how I learned to "help" my mom was to keep things inside and quiet. To be the good kid out of the problem ones. So she doesn't really know me even though she raised me to 18 and we talked often. She's often surprised by my interests (like in horror movies, apparently it's something I share with my dad 😬 ugh) or my personal pursuits, like theatre or violin or math. Even when we talked it was mostly about her or my siblings. I'm trying to break that and bring her in to stuff going on with me and to talk about things I had hidden, especially after I came out to her.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

::: spoiler spoiler It's a small thing for sure. I'll get new frames, the hour or so when I realized I lost them was painful. I can see 90% fine without them and I like my face more than I thought I did, so hooray?

I haven't talked about high school really! I stayed busy with school. I dated a girl on and off, it was just very emotionally confusing. We broke up a month after we both went to college. One of my siblings transitioned, and the other entered a complicated relationship. These things took up a lot of my parents' energy.

I didn't really have space to feel everything I was going through, my own thoughts on what my siblings were dealing with, etc. I kinda internalized that I have to deal with stuff alone, I think. I was insecure about my masculinity for a while, I didn't begin to question my sexuality until towards the end of college.

I relate to so much of what you wrote. I always felt like I was being good by keeping to myself, that I was helping them focus on what seemed important. Realizing that that's a mission with no real end goal has been tough. I assume I'm supposed to be quiet and helpful, and when I want to be loud or say something important, I don't know where or when or how. The anxiety kicks in.

I have to remind myself that I'm on my own, not like, Forever Alone, just like, I'm doing my own thing. Which is fine! The feeling of needing that attachment is something I'm working through though.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

i thought of "full middle malcomist" and assumed i was being original but someone's already made the joke :(

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago

malcomist third middleist

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 days ago (3 children)

looking through my old discord DMs, I can pinpoint the moment my egg cracked drunkenly venting to a friend about my gender with a margin of error of about 15 minutes

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago (1 children)

My egg cracked when an online friend asked if I was trans because I was using an anime girl as a mascot online and I said "no" and then a few days later I did the makeover mage in runescape and said "maybe"

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago

This is basically what happened to me, haha. I was on an ancient ass forum and someone called me She because I had a catgirl pfp and I was just like, "ooooh shit, I'm She."

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Mine cracked after watching Strawberry Panic!. My poor brain just got completely overloaded with gay shit to the point where it just shut down and rebooted with my new genderOS.

Edit: Although it still took like 3 more months to fully hatch because I wasn’t completely sure whether I was an enby or just an androgynous woman. trans-hatch

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago

I wrote a note in notepad about my gender dysphoria. Which I then read back to myself. That is where I set the point of my egg cracking.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago

With Vampire attacks ramping up, my characters wife and two daughters living on the edge of whiterun in a homestead with only the guard dog vigilance seemed too precarious.

So I moved them to my newly renovated Golden Hills farm. With a powerful mage Runik as my steward, an armoured guard troll and vigilance, they're much safer.

Also Brenuin my farm hand looked after my daughter Lucia when they were both homeless and Embry lived in Riverwood with my wife Camillia. So there's familiar faces even if they're two drunks.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago

Been feeling down a few days because of some kinda bad decisions I've made, but heard a song I really love today and it grounded me back to earth a bit. I'm not the same person I was pre-transitioning, I can handle a setback or two without shutting down completely

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 days ago

Hell yeah, my new clothes unexpectedly arrived just now after waiting for almost a month. Nice quality, look amazing and I got them for a really good price:

Some fancy white jeans with a big floral print

and a translucent, black shirt that I can nicely combo with a spaghetti-top

So fucking happy with both of them. catgirl-heart

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago

Well, the trans support group I was hoping to start attending isn't having a virtual meeting tonight since the subject is first aid (which makes sense for in person demonstrations), but because I still have the sniffles (and it's an hour drive), so I will have to wait until next week. trans-sad

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago

Hawk Tuah

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 days ago (1 children)

reminder to myself to do my injection today meow-knife-trans

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Did you do it?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

your timing was perfect i was just about to go to bed, i will do it thank you catgirl-salute

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago

rat-salute-2

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Statscan has been calling me lately, the first two times I thought it was a scam. I finally picked up. They were asking about my ex lol, it's almost been 2 years and every once in a while our very enmeshed lives still comes back

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

What is statscan?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago

Like the US Census Bureau or the UK's Office of National Statistics.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Last mega I asked about feeling out potential allies. I finally just asked my sister directly what her opinion was about queer people. To throw her off of any suspicions however I immediately followed it by asking her what she thinks about the war in Palestine, to make it look like I was just trying to find out about her general political views. I stuttered in the first question, but I still think I nailed it.

She said "Good. I have no problem with them", and to the second question she said that she wasn't informed enough to have an opinion about it.

It doesn't say much, but at least I know she isn't a right wing freak (though I did know that already, because if she were she would be constantly talking about it).

I guess the only way to really know is to come out to her and hope for the best.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 days ago

idk what your family situation is like, so like...it can vary depending on where you are from or how religious the person is, but for the most part I feel like younger apolitical cis people are probably just going to be really imperfect allies, but not really care about people being trans.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 days ago (5 children)

Yet another injection done trans-ferret

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 days ago (1 children)

suicide

Sorry for the fucked question, but is there a trans suicide hotline that won't call the cops on me?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 days ago (1 children)

translifeline: U.S. (877) 565-8860 or Canada (877) 330-6366

This hotline says they won't call unless you ask them too. I hope you are okay/as okay as you can be. I'll be thinking about you.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (11 children)

gonna try to be less of a lurker on here. howdy to all

shout out to progesterone, just upped to 200mg from 100mg and my tits are feeling a type of way

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 days ago

Fuck I had a terrible thought I am being a bad communist

smut, horny

Had a thought about being in a relationship with a theoretical person in a communist party where because of the power dynamics at play they order me to cuddle them and get kissed by them and I have to follow their orders

Alright anyways, I think I'm a bottom-switch, but I am near constantly a sub and a flustered mess when someone is mildly nice to me

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The woke left doesn't want you to know this but you can just make your own gender and make a flag only you use and be sick as hell

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