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I'm literally dying and you think this is a joke: why white people are the real victims (of fusion cuisine) (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Oh, you think it's funny that I turn red and have palpitations when I eat spicy food? You think that just because I'm white my pain and suffering doesn't matter? That eating spicy food hurts my delicate little tongue and far more delicate little asshole? I might get dehydrated from sweating too much, that's dangerous you know. You get a real good laugh when you order habanero salsa for the table, and then when I try to say I don't want any all my poc friends start chanting "SALTINE BOY SALTINE BOY SALTINE BOY" until I load up a chip and begin a 3-4 hour medical ordeal that only ends when I shit my pants while running to the bathroom? Is this a joke to you? I already put black pepper on the table. Any more flavor out here and I might literally have a heart attack, and science proves it. I just want to be able to fully appreciate the ingredients of my dish, whole boiled potatoes and salted meat. If that makes me a SALTINE BOY then so be it. I will not eat the peppers, and I will not get into the pod.

If you all keep teasing me I'm going to join lemm.ee and give you an aneurysm with my liberalism.

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[-] [email protected] 46 points 2 years ago

“The food of the true revolutionary is the red pepper, and he who cannot endure red peppers is also unable to fight.” -Mao Zedong

Sorry, I don't make the rules, lib.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago

agony-minion

[-] [email protected] 31 points 2 years ago

Apparently there are two kinds of white people in America.

Those who consider oregano a wildly exotic spice, and those who buy gallon jugs of a sauce that doubles as aligator poison.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago

It me. Alligator poison boy.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

You have my permission to put that on a T shirt.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago

The only thing whiter than not being to take spice is pepper spraying your mouth and calling it flavour

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

Yeah it's kinda sad to me with the MEGA CHILI DEATH MURSER SAUCE "enjoyers" that put some weird thing with a scoville level only achievable thru synthetic addition of capsaicin on their food in order to prove how manly they are or whatever.
I like spicy food, no need to make it my personality though

[-] [email protected] 30 points 2 years ago

SALTINE BOY farquaad-point

[-] [email protected] 17 points 2 years ago

kitty-cri

Why would you do this to me in my moment of vulnerability

[-] [email protected] 25 points 2 years ago

I do wish I could eat spicy food without my nose running like crazy. I like the flavor and can handle it emotionally but I can't help how my sinuses react.

So I end up eating spicy stuff all the time when I'm alone but avoid it around others because having to blow my nose three times during a meal is embarrassing lol

[-] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago

I love spicy food and I still get a runny nose from spice levels below what I can even detect anymore

My nose knows stuff is spicy before I do

[-] [email protected] 20 points 2 years ago

Gonna pour one out for all my serranos and jalapeños in my former garden. Only got to eat one serrano angery The part of the garden with peppers didn't fully burn, but they were all well roasted, soft, and in the unsafe temperature zone for days

[-] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago

Did like a thing happen on the food comm or is this just pure make up a guy.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago

I'm a real boy (posting fake things on the Internet)

[-] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago

im white enough to reflect light yet i never have a problem with spicy foods messing up my stomach, or any foods really.

just built to be a carbage disposal trash mammal ig gigachad

[-] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago

Eat the One Chip or GTFO

[-] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago

shoutout to balduk instant noodles for expanding my spicy horizons

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago

I got the double spicy ones once

Oh geez, that was a mistake

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Last time I was at the grocery store they only had the 2x spicy ones, guess this confirms I was right to pass on them that time.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

I can handle a decent level of spicy chili, but those made my mouth go completely numb

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

The chicken is very angry.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago

I want to eat my old favorite spicy noodles but they all include fuckin beef or pork in the sauce/stock. Hardest thing about trying to eat more ethically was not dropping meat, but all the foods that have secret hidden meat/animal products for no damn reason.

Anyway I get symptoms 1 & 2, but never experienced the severe distress cracker-Americans won’t shut up about. Can we also talk about that? How mfs wanna interject and expound at length about their burning asshole whenever you mention Indian, SE Asian, Latin American etc. cuisine.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Can we also talk about that?

I'd rather not tbh

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago

It's about the journey, not the destination.

I'm pretty lmayo , but I still think it's worth it. Serranos are one of my preferred peppers. Nice medium heat with tons of flavor.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

Serranos are wonderful. The next time you are cooking over an open flame throw some on. You won't regret it!

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

is there a reason i only get the first two? like ive never had stomach/digestion problems or a burning asshole from eating spicy food, and i eat spicy food all the time

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

I have to wonder if like the stomach issues stuff is more fast food trouble than spicy food trouble, because I've never noticed stomach troubles either and I either get spicy stuff homemade or get it from places at least 1 tier above fast food chains.

Feels like either that, people getting comically hot peppers as a dumb joke on themselves, or just like some people genuinely have the wrong stomach genes for it.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

I was once a ridiculously spicy person, massively overdid it once and am now just a spicy person. Spice-induced gastritis is real. I eat all sorts of crap, but only the red sauce from the kati rolls place is going to make me swell up and hurt the next day. Avoid spicy challenges unless you know exactly what you're getting into -- ideally by going with friends and splitting the fissile material.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

I strongly agree with this, and think it has something to do with spiced oils specifically. I can eat fresh peppers and cooked peppers when they’re made at home and I’ll be a mess while eating with watery eyes and a runny nose, but that will be it. If I eat spicy fast food or spicy processed snacks it will be a bad 24 hours

I know the human body digests material at differing rates depending on what it is. Proteins are primarily digested in the stomach, starches are digested in the mouth and small intestine, and lipids are digested in the small intestine. So it makes sense to me that when the capsaicin has been emulsified it will pass through the stomach and then be felt in the intestines. (Disclaimer: it’s been a while since I had education on this topic, may be misremembered/outdated information)

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

I strongly agree with this, and think it has something to do with spiced oils specifically.

Spiced oils are some diabolical shit. I don't know the science behind why, but I've made my own sauces and pastes at home, and the oil I make with the same ingredients is by far the hottest. I can't put more than a quarter teaspoon into a gallon of soup if I want my family to eat it.

(naturally, its my favourite now)

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

I never had the ring of fire until I got older, but spicy food does make me cough and sometimes hiccup.

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

It also tastes good! That's also a thing that happens

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

And is there any negative effects?

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

TIL some people get the shits from eating spicy food.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

I eat spicy buldak noodles for lunch for quite some time now, every week I'd say once.

Last week, for the first time ever, I had my first "ring of fire". It really really hurt.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

I might be a cat because I was pretty sure this was a picture of a snake by the thumbnail

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this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2023

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