this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2024
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rOzeclawz Follow 2d ago

what the fuck makes phone apps so cocky as to send me notifications telling me to use it. my grocery list app straight up went "you havent made a list in a while!" are you out of your fucking mind. you are a program. why are you speaking to me like youre my equal. i could replace you with a pen and the back of a receipt. idiot. i kill you now

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[–] [email protected] 166 points 1 month ago (8 children)
[–] DJDarren 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It makes me more angry that it should that Alexa talks back to me when I ask it to do stuff.

“NOW CONNECTED TO YOUR PHONE!”

YES I FUCKING KNOW BECAUSE YOU MADE THE BEEPING NOISE YOU MAKE AND THAT’S OK BUT DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Your problem is having an Alexa in the first place. That's a simple fix, though. Your local recycling center will take e-waste.

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[–] [email protected] 121 points 1 month ago (4 children)

The worst are apps that send ads through notifications.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 month ago

That's an instant uninstall for me

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (4 children)

The worst is when an otherwise great app does that! And they also send really important notifications too, so you can’t just disable notifications!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Many apps have "notification channels" (on android), to customize what notifications you get. You could choose to disable some notifications and keep others.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Are apps able to lie though? Say, by putting ads into the same channel as essential notifications?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yes and some do it constantly. Other have say two channels and just name them like “important stuff” and “really important stuff” and just mix ads in both.

There was a time, when the Amazon App complained every time you opened it (and every few pages of browsing) that not all notifications were allowed and constantly nagged you to turn them on, if you disabled any categories in the app or notification channels.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Yeah so the feature actually sounds completely useless against a determined adver~~sary~~tiser. At the very least, apps should have no way of knowing whether notifications are turned on, including no means of knowing whether a notification was displayed or not.

App stores should also make a policy of banning apps that don’t explicitly keep all their ads in an advertising channel.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Probably yes. But most apps probably behave well

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Send a bug report every single time it happens.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Issue #363 - My phone notified me about an add

Issue #366 - My phone have notified me about ads twice

Issue #372 - My phone have notified me about ads three times

That's the good stuff.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You forgot the ones that decide they need to play their own sounds to accompany the notification.

It took exactly one time of the Taco Bell app making my phone do their stupid bong sound for me to swear off taco bell for life.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

making my phone do their stupid bong sound

-Rapid bubbling- -Short burst of coughs- “Bruh, we should totally get munchies.”

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

No, their stupid bong sound. Not a welcome bong sound.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

I’m looking at you ESPN

[–] [email protected] 91 points 1 month ago (1 children)

One more reason why i prefer Open Source. There, apps get made for utility, not for money.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And popularized by utility, not profit or market share

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Or ad campaigns! Don't forget terrible products that are popularized by ads alone!

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Any app that does shit like that immediately loses notification privileges. At the very least. If it's something that I don't need (thanks for reminding me, app), then I will just remove it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I wish there was a more punitive option. Like, yeah, I disallowed notifications, but I also had a leaky gallon of liquid shit delivered to the CEO's home.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's the only thing worse than getting interrupted using the app asking for me to review it

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 month ago

Three seconds after you start it for the 1st time

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

I do review them when they pull that bullshit, I give them 1 star.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"You are right, I'm not using you. Uninstalled."

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (10 children)

This is why on newer Android versions you can just flat out reject being allowed to send notifications.

I will talk to you when I need it, not the other way around.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (6 children)

I had no idea people didn't do this! First notification I get from an app that isn't some form of messaging, straight to settings and turn off notifications.

People are getting notifications from news apps. Apart from actual World War Fuckin Three, what possible news story could be worth being disturbed by your phone for?!?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Well before the current Android version, you had to manually go into the settings of the app or your phone to disable them. Now you get this on first boot of the app:

This makes it a lot easier to reject them immediately

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

This. I shut off all notifications from nearly all of my apps. Primary text app, phone app, and just a couple of others. I may temporarily allow them for a special purpose, but once that's over they all get silenced and I get to them when I get to them. I hate badge notifications, too. So, those are off for EVERYTHING. Grad school cemented that aversion.

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago

"You haven't given us your data in a while!"

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Sometimes I put directions into Maps for a work thing and I have to be there before the location opens to the public and when I put the address in, before it will give me directions, the app says, "HEY, THE PLACE YOU'RE GOING MIGHT NOT BE OPEN, JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW, STUPID ASSHOLE."

It makes me unreasonably(?) furious.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I get this happen to me too, but honestly it feels like a feature that helps more people than it annoys the rest. Even though I'm among those annoyed

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's like when customer service call centers have 'longer than average wait times" because of "higher than average call volume" all of the fucking time. If it happens all the time, it ain't higher than average.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

Breh my job involves driving to addresses outside of their normal working hours to the general public . It is so f u c k i n g annoying to have to listen to day in and day out. Same with "traffic is heavier than usual". Also every. Damn. Day at the same time of day.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I changed my first name in part because of this kind of nonsense. In the old days companies would refer to you as Mr. Surname, these days they're gross and chummy. Stay in your lane, we're not friends, you can use my paperwork name that I have no emotional connection to.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm using more and more "master" as a first name online. That helps a lot.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Hey Flamekebab, why aren't you meeting your commitment to practice swahili for 40 minutes a day :(

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

App developers should learn that the "Maybe later" button makes me delete their app.

Yes or no.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

It increases engagement and that's what the developer wants, especially if there are ads or purchases in the app. So you might hate it but it works.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Damn engagers, ruining it for the rest of us.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I hate how app send notifications constantly now. It's gotten to the point where I'll just uninstall it if it annoys me.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I've muted 95% of all apps from being able to notify me.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Turn on "do not disturb" permanently. That's what I did

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Setting my phone to silent semi-permanently was a great decision. The sound of sensation of buzzing has become something I dread. Do not "ping" at me, machine. I will check for messages when I am bored, and no sooner!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

DATA me NEED DATA

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

I AM A DIVINE BEING

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