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rOzeclawz Follow 2d ago
what the fuck makes phone apps so cocky as to send me notifications telling me to use it. my grocery list app straight up went "you havent made a list in a while!" are you out of your fucking mind. you are a program. why are you speaking to me like youre my equal. i could replace you with a pen and the back of a receipt. idiot. i kill you now
DATA me NEED DATA
App developers should learn that the "Maybe later" button makes me delete their app.
Yes or no.
The only apps that can give me notifications are my messenging app my phone app and my email app. The rest get notifications blocked on install.
I mercilessly block notifications. Especially Uber
I hate how app send notifications constantly now. It's gotten to the point where I'll just uninstall it if it annoys me.
I've muted 95% of all apps from being able to notify me.
On top of that I'll sometimes put them entirely to sleep when I'm not using them. You get zero background privileges. I don't need you running in the background updating crap, when I only need to use you a few times a year.
It's the only thing worse than getting interrupted using the app asking for me to review it
Three seconds after you start it for the 1st time
I do review them when they pull that bullshit, I give them 1 star.
similar energy:
It makes me more angry that it should that Alexa talks back to me when I ask it to do stuff.
“NOW CONNECTED TO YOUR PHONE!”
YES I FUCKING KNOW BECAUSE YOU MADE THE BEEPING NOISE YOU MAKE AND THAT’S OK BUT DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME
Your problem is having an Alexa in the first place. That's a simple fix, though. Your local recycling center will take e-waste.
I changed my first name in part because of this kind of nonsense. In the old days companies would refer to you as Mr. Surname, these days they're gross and chummy. Stay in your lane, we're not friends, you can use my paperwork name that I have no emotional connection to.
Hey Flamekebab, why aren't you meeting your commitment to practice swahili for 40 minutes a day :(
I'm using more and more "master" as a first name online. That helps a lot.
A most excellent idea, my liege.
I'm taking this idea, thank you!
One more reason why i prefer Open Source. There, apps get made for utility, not for money.
And popularized by utility, not profit or market share
Or ad campaigns! Don't forget terrible products that are popularized by ads alone!
Any app that does shit like that immediately loses notification privileges. At the very least. If it's something that I don't need (thanks for reminding me, app), then I will just remove it.
I wish there was a more punitive option. Like, yeah, I disallowed notifications, but I also had a leaky gallon of liquid shit delivered to the CEO's home.
The most punitive thing you can do is give it a 1 star review.
As it so happens it's also the nicest thing you can do for everybody else since it makes it less likely people will download that app.
"OK, adding pen and paper to your shopping list."
The worst are apps that send ads through notifications.
That's an instant uninstall for me
The worst is when an otherwise great app does that! And they also send really important notifications too, so you can’t just disable notifications!
Many apps have "notification channels" (on android), to customize what notifications you get. You could choose to disable some notifications and keep others.
Turn on "do not disturb" permanently. That's what I did
Setting my phone to silent semi-permanently was a great decision. The sound of sensation of buzzing has become something I dread. Do not "ping" at me, machine. I will check for messages when I am bored, and no sooner!
Sometimes I put directions into Maps for a work thing and I have to be there before the location opens to the public and when I put the address in, before it will give me directions, the app says, "HEY, THE PLACE YOU'RE GOING MIGHT NOT BE OPEN, JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW, STUPID ASSHOLE."
It makes me unreasonably(?) furious.
I get this happen to me too, but honestly it feels like a feature that helps more people than it annoys the rest. Even though I'm among those annoyed
It's like when customer service call centers have 'longer than average wait times" because of "higher than average call volume" all of the fucking time. If it happens all the time, it ain't higher than average.
Breh my job involves driving to addresses outside of their normal working hours to the general public . It is so f u c k i n g annoying to have to listen to day in and day out. Same with "traffic is heavier than usual". Also every. Damn. Day at the same time of day.
Driving somewhere unknown, I need gas..."hey phone, take me to the nearest gas station" "okay, here's a tiny list of gas stations to choose from, please click the one you want"
Hands free navigation at its finest.
And then it asks you if the gas station you want is one 8 hours away, instead of the one 3 minutes from your current location. This has happened to me many times.
"You haven't given us your data in a while!"
"You are right, I'm not using you. Uninstalled."
This is why on newer Android versions you can just flat out reject being allowed to send notifications.
I will talk to you when I need it, not the other way around.
I had no idea people didn't do this! First notification I get from an app that isn't some form of messaging, straight to settings and turn off notifications.
People are getting notifications from news apps. Apart from actual World War Fuckin Three, what possible news story could be worth being disturbed by your phone for?!?
This. I shut off all notifications from nearly all of my apps. Primary text app, phone app, and just a couple of others. I may temporarily allow them for a special purpose, but once that's over they all get silenced and I get to them when I get to them. I hate badge notifications, too. So, those are off for EVERYTHING. Grad school cemented that aversion.