this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2024
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Sir, a third assassin has failed

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[–] [email protected] 87 points 3 days ago (2 children)

"Huh I wonder why so many people keep trying to kill this guy. Better not change anything at all." - politicans probably

[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"Huh I wonder why so many people keep trying to kill this guy. Better ~~not change anything at all~~ align our platform closer to his." - ~~politicans~~ democrats probably

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"Huh I wonder why so many people keep trying to kill this guy. Better not change anything at all."

He came forward with the truth about windmills and big renewable said axe this guy.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 days ago

it's a scheme by thicc-trump Big Wind

[–] [email protected] 85 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I love that he can't go out in public without the donkey of the week trying to shoot him. It's even better than an Oswald doing it competently.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 days ago (3 children)

It would be funny if chuds get mad that people are trying to kill Trump and start trying to assassinate kamala

[–] [email protected] 46 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's hard for me to predict the dumbest timeline. This has become such a pattern with Trump that I think there could be a genuine Stupid John Wick situation where goobers endlessly sacrifice themselves to prove to no one that they aren't like the last goober. He'll just be a donkey magnet until he dies of natural causes at the age of 120.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 days ago (1 children)

until he dies of natural causes at the age of 120.

He'll be a formless blob of cortisol and hair medication by then, like the ending of no-mouth-must-scream

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The suspect later told US media that he was a Trump supporter who bought the guns for his own safety and notified police at a checkpoint that they were in the trunk of his car. “These accusations are complete bullshit,” Miller said. “I’m an artist, I’m the last person that would cause any violence and harm to anybody.”

Yeah, there aren't any infamous examples of Right-wing artists using violence to harm people.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago

“I’m an artist, I’m the last person that would cause any violence and harm to anybody.”

Unprecedented

[–] [email protected] 78 points 3 days ago (1 children)

hitting the dice roller again and again in baldur's gate 3 and just coming up with 1 every time

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 days ago

No quick-load for these folks oooaaaaaaauhhh

[–] [email protected] 76 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I actually started laughing when I saw the headline.

[–] [email protected] 68 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

on trillbillies they called it "always something with this guy"

[–] [email protected] 54 points 3 days ago

on trillbillies they called it "always something with this guy", i recall that phrase a lot with trump news lately

Can you not get shot at...FOR FIVE MINUTES?!

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 3 days ago (3 children)

This has to be a psyop. It can't be that hard.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

hexbears I know it's tempting but it's not worth it to prove that hexbear was right once again

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 days ago

What's the ETA on Freedom of Information Act requests? Can we ask for files yet about the GOP using its stooges to try and eliminate Trump because they want to run Joe Biden in his place?

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[–] [email protected] 65 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

The suspect, identified as Vem Miller

Not a real name

Bianco said Miller considers himself a so-called sovereign citizen, a group of people who do not believe they are subject to any government statutes unless they consent to them. Bianco said Miller’s identity card was enough to raise suspicion with local rally security. “They were different enough to cause the deputies alarm,”

Not a real country, stg. Did he print it on fucking inkjet printer without golden thread or whatever they believe

Bianco also said the FBI is questioning another man after bomb-detecting dogs “repeatedly” identified him as possibly dangerous. That man was not allowed in the rally, Bianco said.

Cant have shit in usa

[–] [email protected] 81 points 3 days ago (11 children)

First a blackpilled groyper who just wanted to be famous and also die, then a NAFO freak, now a sovereign citizen? It's like he's going for a niche reactionary white guy BINGO. What's the next one gonna be? An extremely divorced guy whose personality is filming himself going on racist rants while driving around in his truck? An Evangelical wearing Chick Tracts like a Warhammer character wears scraps of scripture?

[–] [email protected] 69 points 3 days ago (1 children)

4chan weeb who tries to do it with a katana and throwing stars timmy-pray

[–] [email protected] 56 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Ok but imagine if they were the one to succeed lmao

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 days ago (3 children)

making Jojo references as theyre shot by secret service

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 days ago

We will also accept Naruto-running away from the Secret Service.

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[–] [email protected] 56 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Jet-ski dealer who escaped prison after being arrested over 6th january ~~shenanigans~~ coup attemptagony-4horsemen

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Getting revenge after his mother wasted all of their savings on the Trump NFTs.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 3 days ago

White guy who's a black hebrew israelite

[–] [email protected] 46 points 3 days ago (3 children)

An Evangelical wearing Chick Tracts like a Warhammer character wears scraps of scripture

babe wake up, new "world's best cosplay idea" just dropped

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 days ago (2 children)

guy who thinks that trump won the 2020 election and has been shadow governing ever since and that this asshole running in 2024 is obviously a CIA body double since trump would not be constitutionally allowed to have a third term

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 days ago
The suspect, identified as Vem Miller

Not a real name

Short for Vemhinkular Mailmslaughller

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 3 days ago

the deep state aren't sending their best, folks trump-enlightened

[–] [email protected] 49 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

i gues the third time is uhhh ......not the charm?

trump-anguish ah well, nevertheless

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 days ago

Fucking stole my line. Maybe the third person who actually gets a shot out is the charm

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

isn't this the fourth one?

  • Pennsylvania dude who was killed
  • Florida dude who hid in the bushes
  • Michigan dude strutting around talking about his (imaginary) C4

or does Mr Michigan not actually count for some reason I missed hearing about?

[–] [email protected] 55 points 3 days ago (2 children)

He's gonna match Castro for number of attempted assassinations if he keeps it up.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 3 days ago

First as farce second as tragedy.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 days ago

Lol guess I'm losing count

[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well, he needs to be lucky every time.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 days ago (5 children)

the first doofus fucked it up for everyone, now security is too tight. sad

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Something something only need to get lucky once

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Just a shame Maggie got lucky every time.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 days ago

yamagami wouldve found a way to get it through. Amateur hour over here smh

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 days ago

Commiefornia once again trampling on the 2nd amendment 😒

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 days ago

Can't say I'm surprised shrug-outta-hecks

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