this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
743 points (98.9% liked)

Greentext

4600 readers
2169 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 396 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

For those who don't get it, the joke is diabetes causes unmetabolized sugar to end up in your urine.

[–] [email protected] 85 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Oooooh...

Sometimes my piss smells like sugar, but it often smells like a lot of things. Usually piss. Sometimes asparagus.

[–] [email protected] 97 points 2 months ago (4 children)

guys stop smelling your own piss just flush it

[–] [email protected] 46 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If it can help to alert you to a potential medical issue and then you go see the doctor; I don’t see it as bad thing.

I’ve tasted my own piss before to see if it was sweet.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well don't leave us hanging. Was it?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It was not. It was rather bland actually but I do be hydrated all the time.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Need to try again next week, don’t give up so easily

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Why next week? We need daily samples.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Thank you, sugar in your ~~tea~~ pee!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (3 children)

It's actually beneficial for controlling your health to monitor piss and poo. Not to obsessively investigate it. But just to know what's normal for you so you know when to worry.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Very much this. You don't have to eat all of it, a tablespoon or two to taste is enough.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

For poop:

  • the bristol stool scale
  • and your frequency (anywhere from daily to weekly is normal and varies a lot person to person so learn your normal)
  • color can vary a lot so that's less important but here's a few common ones other than brown:
    • bright red. This is a small amount of blood and from very close to the exit so it's not great but you'll be fine. Be nicer to your butthole though: stop eating taco bell and use more lube. Maybe put some A&D on the outside until it stops doing that.
    • dark black like tar. This is what a lot of blood from very deep in you looks like. Go to the ER immediately.
    • light grey / white. This means your liver isn't putting old trash red blood cells into your poop like it's supposed to and you should go to the ER immediately and find out why not and where it's putting them instead.

For piss:

  • should be light yellow "straw" color and clear
  • not cloudy and DEFINITELY never chunky.
  • Also should not be a syrupy consistency, I've legit seen diabetics pissing and it looks like they're pouring syrup into the toilet also that's how you get horrible bladder infections bacteria love that sugar.
  • You should also pee about 4-10 times daily and it can vary a lot depending on how much you're drinking and how much you're losing other ways like sweating or vomiting.
  • if your pee turns a little dark throughout the day that's fine and you just need to drink more water.
  • if your pee suddenly turns dark brown go to the ER.
  • beets have a dye that can change pee color and that's harmless
  • some medications can change your pee color and sometimes that's fine and sometimes it's bad talk to your doctor about it but for example
    • pyridium turns it red and that's fine
    • I can never remember which b vitamin but it makes your piss super bright yellow and so people use it to help fake drug tests because it makes their urine look less dilute when casually observed. They'll be able to tell what you did if they look closer though.
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

And Beats (by Dre) can also turn your piss red, that is cause for concern

/J

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Hence the "poop shelf" which has taken over toilets in the last decade

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

I've gotten top ramen before, same with apple jacks.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Get yo self a glucometer if you're thinking about it, diabeetus is real obvious once you start using the right tools. Also they're super cheap these days.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

It can be other things than diabetes as well, like an infection or liver failure.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hopefully you were in the bathroom when you relieved yourself.

I know I was.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Mine frequently smells like whatever meat I ate, especially after eating a couple chili dogs or smoked meat.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Everyone’s talking about the smell, but I’m thinking about the colour after I eat a bunch of beets

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Living amongst avid beet eaters, I never noticed a color change. Guess i metabolize beets particularly well, which is neat.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

My pee comes out pink. It’s startling!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Could be artificial sweeteners.

[–] [email protected] 111 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (8 children)

Imagine being a piss kink enjoyer and finding out your SO has diabetes (or is pregnant) because their piss tastes like straight sugar water.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

like straight sugar water.

Like an Edgar suit

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Fucking crazy this guy plays kingpin in the daredevil series

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I think that's how they used to diagnose some illnesses. Makes you wonder if some docs had a piss kink or if they were just super commited to helping people out.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I mean, you can drink my piss if it ends up potentially beneficial to me. Any takers? I'd send you a vial of a time of day of your chosing.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (4 children)

you can even make money off it if you find the right piss enthusiasts lol

(if you live in the US, don't send it via US Postal Service, as shipping bodily fluids is illegal)

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Crazier still, for the wealthy, boiling down piss was how they'd measure your sugar level back in the 20s through 40s. Ugh.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm sure there were at least a few for whom it was both lol

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago

I saw a story like that on reddit once. Dude was going through medical school. Had a FWB who was getting into squirting. He noticed it tasted sweet and told her to get checked for diabetes. She was prediabetic if I remember correctly.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Wtf. Just finished a doc on comedian Patrice O'Neil and he makes this joke about himself lol

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

I'd rather not imagine it but you already made me

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
  • piss enjoyer
  • yiffit.net
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 99 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Anon can enjoy sugary beverages all day every day for the rest of their life!

[–] [email protected] 82 points 2 months ago (2 children)

And lose weight with every amputation

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My Wikipedia bugged out and I got this lmao

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Why is there a picture of Stevie wonder next to maple syrup disease

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

That's my man Isaac Hayes (Chef from South Park and a musician)

His page was the last thing I was looking at on Wikipedia before I clicked the above link. Looks like the app just retained the image from the previous article.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Its just beetus. Anon is just a dummy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Or liver failure.

Or a serious infection.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago
load more comments
view more: next ›