this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Anon's body is a machine (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (3 children)

It's actually beneficial for controlling your health to monitor piss and poo. Not to obsessively investigate it. But just to know what's normal for you so you know when to worry.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Very much this. You don't have to eat all of it, a tablespoon or two to taste is enough.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Is there another way besides scooping it from the bowl? I don’t like when the dirty toilet water touches my spoon

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

For poop:

  • the bristol stool scale
  • and your frequency (anywhere from daily to weekly is normal and varies a lot person to person so learn your normal)
  • color can vary a lot so that's less important but here's a few common ones other than brown:
    • bright red. This is a small amount of blood and from very close to the exit so it's not great but you'll be fine. Be nicer to your butthole though: stop eating taco bell and use more lube. Maybe put some A&D on the outside until it stops doing that.
    • dark black like tar. This is what a lot of blood from very deep in you looks like. Go to the ER immediately.
    • light grey / white. This means your liver isn't putting old trash red blood cells into your poop like it's supposed to and you should go to the ER immediately and find out why not and where it's putting them instead.

For piss:

  • should be light yellow "straw" color and clear
  • not cloudy and DEFINITELY never chunky.
  • Also should not be a syrupy consistency, I've legit seen diabetics pissing and it looks like they're pouring syrup into the toilet also that's how you get horrible bladder infections bacteria love that sugar.
  • You should also pee about 4-10 times daily and it can vary a lot depending on how much you're drinking and how much you're losing other ways like sweating or vomiting.
  • if your pee turns a little dark throughout the day that's fine and you just need to drink more water.
  • if your pee suddenly turns dark brown go to the ER.
  • beets have a dye that can change pee color and that's harmless
  • some medications can change your pee color and sometimes that's fine and sometimes it's bad talk to your doctor about it but for example
    • pyridium turns it red and that's fine
    • I can never remember which b vitamin but it makes your piss super bright yellow and so people use it to help fake drug tests because it makes their urine look less dilute when casually observed. They'll be able to tell what you did if they look closer though.
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And Beats (by Dre) can also turn your piss red, that is cause for concern

/J

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I actually love this comment and this style of humor and wanted you to know that I'm absolutely chuffed.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I believe he was saying he loved her too. Red is the color of passion after all

Rightly chuffed, Cheers!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

and your frequency (anywhere from daily to weekly is normal)

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hence the "poop shelf" which has taken over toilets in the last decade

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

In what country? I saw them in Germany decades ago, but I haven't seen one in Australia yet

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Go look at a Bunnings or Reece, 90% of their models since about 2018 have been with poop shelves. Granted, that does mean it will take a while before they're everywhere, but it's only a matter of time.