this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2024
163 points (89.8% liked)

News

23275 readers
3381 users here now

Welcome to the News community!

Rules:

1. Be civil


Attack the argument, not the person. No racism/sexism/bigotry. Good faith argumentation only. This includes accusing another user of being a bot or paid actor. Trolling is uncivil and is grounds for removal and/or a community ban. Do not respond to rule-breaking content; report it and move on.


2. All posts should contain a source (url) that is as reliable and unbiased as possible and must only contain one link.


Obvious right or left wing sources will be removed at the mods discretion. We have an actively updated blocklist, which you can see here: https://lemmy.world/post/2246130 if you feel like any website is missing, contact the mods. Supporting links can be added in comments or posted seperately but not to the post body.


3. No bots, spam or self-promotion.


Only approved bots, which follow the guidelines for bots set by the instance, are allowed.


4. Post titles should be the same as the article used as source.


Posts which titles don’t match the source won’t be removed, but the autoMod will notify you, and if your title misrepresents the original article, the post will be deleted. If the site changed their headline, the bot might still contact you, just ignore it, we won’t delete your post.


5. Only recent news is allowed.


Posts must be news from the most recent 30 days.


6. All posts must be news articles.


No opinion pieces, Listicles, editorials or celebrity gossip is allowed. All posts will be judged on a case-by-case basis.


7. No duplicate posts.


If a source you used was already posted by someone else, the autoMod will leave a message. Please remove your post if the autoMod is correct. If the post that matches your post is very old, we refer you to rule 5.


8. Misinformation is prohibited.


Misinformation / propaganda is strictly prohibited. Any comment or post containing or linking to misinformation will be removed. If you feel that your post has been removed in error, credible sources must be provided.


9. No link shorteners.


The auto mod will contact you if a link shortener is detected, please delete your post if they are right.


10. Don't copy entire article in your post body


For copyright reasons, you are not allowed to copy an entire article into your post body. This is an instance wide rule, that is strictly enforced in this community.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I try to read all the articles I post but for this one I noped out after 1 sentence. Enjoy!

all 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 51 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I pictured his bowels flying out of his nose and mouth. Makes sense what happened to the poor guy.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Same. Popping open an incision is somehow a relief compared to what I was picturing.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Honestly, a part of me was a bit disappointed that's not what it was. I was so invested and curious to learn why that could even happen, only to find it didn't.

Glad he's ok-ish, though.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Yeah. I don't want to say I'm disappointed, because that would suck even more for the guy, but I will say I'm a little underwhelmed.

Also, what's with that insane autoplay video in the article using stock video footage to tell the story? Have we sunk so low?

[–] [email protected] 48 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The headline makes it sound way worse than what happened. Dude is fine, just reopened a surgical wound with some bulging.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 4 months ago (3 children)

The headline sounds like he blew his guts out of his nose.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

See, I pictured out he blew out his poop chute

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

That would be hilarious to see. Vomit-inducing and nightmarish, but hilarious.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Yep that's some title gore... I was trying to figure out how the hell that could even happen...

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago

Basically doctors fucked up and removed staples too soon. They did this to my ex after our second son was born. Took the staples out and she almost died from sepsis.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I just had surgery a few weeks ago that included robot arms going into my tummy. A few days ago I sneezed for the first time since and immediately screamed in pain. Sneezes are weirdly hard on the body it seems

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

People have legit broken ribs from sneezing, also at least a few cases of snapping their own spines. I just discombobulate myself evertime I sneeze, getting punched in the face doesnt even do that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Yikes x.x

I've never broken a rib but I do have a problem rib that likes to pop out of place sometimes. Usually from coughing but I've managed it a couple times from sneezes

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

I've got somewhat oversized lungs - not like a medical condition, just what you could call "leather lungs." So when I sneeze, it's sometimes actually painful. It kinda sucks.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

They are nasal orgasms so it checks out

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

At least you won't have that particular problem again until you read about somebody who sneezed someone else's intestines out of his body.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Don't sneeze

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Goddammit, Jeff. You're gonna make us read this?!

Just. Goddammit.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

I remember when a relative still had a feeding tube they were leaving in just in case and he accidently yanked it out. I believe we put paper towels and blue tape over it and he called the doctor. the doctor was like 'oh it's self sealing it's fine' and my relative was all 'doc....please look at it...' so we took him in and he got a proper bandage and told it did in fact look fine.

This poor florida man....

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

“I also propose that we put a warning on all horseradish that clearly states that if you ingest an entire bottle, that you will blow out your sphincter. Also, if anyone knows anyone that recently died with an intact size 3 sphincter, please contact me as I am currently very low on the waiting list for a donor.”

  • Stan Smith
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Stan Smith? The tennis guy/sneaker icon?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Damn that must have been traumatic. I hope all goes well for him

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Always on the lookout for new irrational fears!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

That might be the most Florida Man article I have ever seen. Bravo.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

This is how I'm going to go, when the time comes

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

... not the onion?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Shat his heart out