this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2023
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I want to say "shut up" all the time. Thing is, I don't want to choke on the rest of my words and silently freeze afterwards.
I actually disagree with shut up. These people are looking for anything that can keep it going and keep them being powerful over you. Saying shut up will give them what they want, a response. Them, the intellectual, you the angry person saying shut up.
Just say you're done with the conversation and stop responding. Silent indifference eats at these deeply insecure people.
That's why you say "shut up nerd" in a contemptuous tone, not an angry one.
I think it depends on the situation
Online, yeah, say you're done and ignore them
Real life, I think people need that little slap to the ego
One that i like to use when I'm clearly just being "talked at" is "nah, I'm done here. i don't owe you a debate" and then STICKING TO MY GUNS and exiting the situation
I was taught by a friend that when someone behaves too manipulatively, you can just leave the room without a word.
There was a shitty person who treated us two very differently. I observed if you start off a relationship with someone extremely manipulative with the vanishing act, they'll respect you more and try less shit on you. I stuck around when shit got bad, and all that did was give the manipulator room to test how far they could take things out on me.
Freezing them out hurts them more than saying shut up. Any response at all validates them and you getting angry really does validate them more than freezing them out because you’re telling them they’re important enough to get upset about.
“Grey rock” them.
This isn’t just self help “they aren’t worth your time” advice. Legitimately it’s the best way to get back at them. They want validation in the form of a response, of occupying your attention, so don’t give them your attention. Be a grey rock.