Made this one somewhat last minute, but here goes- my reccomendations for this week are a yuri "mystery" VN that's near and dear to my heart (that goes into processing grief) though it's been a while since I last played it, and a cute and sloppy (not bad sloppy) manga about crossdressing (and if you ask me is honestly at least kinda genderfuckery).
I figured I'd also add BonnieBugsy's "Ranma Lazuli" fanfic series (available on Ao3) to make it a triple feature because why the hell not. The two fics I can recommend (not having completed the other large fic yet though I'm sure it would deserve equal recommendation) are pretty near and dear to me as well.
CONTENT WARNINGS
SeaBed: processing grief
Handsome Girl and Crossdressing Boy: some chapters, particularly the extras, can be particularly suggestive/R18+
Ranma Lazuli: for the two fanfics specifically I'm discussing, "Skies of Blue, Red Roses Too" covers dysphoria and abusive family circumstances, with the premise of the titular Ranma escaping these and finding a place where she can be and grow into herself. "I of the Storm," in contrast, deals with the abusive and unhealthy dynamics of that "place where nothing ever gets better" from the perspective of someone still living within it- Akane- who herself, also has to deal with her anger and the consequences of (being a victim, but also perpetrator of) abuse, apathy, and past mistakes, while moving past that environment herself.
Premise and things I liked about (SeaBed)
Sachiko and Takako were childhood friends and lovers, but unknown circumstances tore them apart. Now they have to piece together the puzzle, as Sachiko keeps hallucinating about Takako, and Takako deals with memory issues of her own.
Personally, Seabed can come across as a bit of a slog (but in a good way- and in a way appropriate to the themes of grief, of mental processing and memory issues, etc). And it can be very heavy. I played it during a time when I was dealing with grief among other things myself and I loved it- I intend to play it again someday (ideally soon), but needless to say it won't be for everyone.
Premise and things I liked about (Handsome Girl and Crossdressing Boy)
Admittedly, this is just comfy, queer (IMO), somewhat suggestive (YMMV, if it were just up to me I'd not even consider it NSFW but it's definitely toeing a line and considering cultural and even circumstantial differences of different online spaces- well yea) and sappy light-hearted romance. Iori is a crossdressing boy(? very eggy if you ask me), and Hazuki is a handsome girl. Needless to say gender is a fuck.
The extra chapters (generally noticeable as something like "chapter 23.5" instead of being an outright "chapter 23" for instance) can be even moreso questionably/maybe "NSFW/18+" (though if you ask me that's all "western puritanism and backwardness/regressiveness" which they then infected many other parts of the world with)
Premise and things I liked about (BonnieBugsy's 'Ranma Lazuli' fanfic series)
The two "Ranma Lazuli" fics I can recommend (the others I either haven't read yet or are very short) are both what I would describe as "coming of age/graduation(?)" plots, wherein Ranma moves from her abusive, overwhelming, demanding upbringing to the welcoming and progressive Beach City from Steven Universe (no knowledge of either series is necessary IMO to enjoy these fics, that said) and is finally able to develop within such a healthier environment, and Akane comes to terms with and breaks free of the fallout and that unhealthy environment in her own way, in her own separate life.
Both fics, I feel, correlate with my own defining experiences on many levels- whether it be Ranma's growth and the liberating feeling of finding a positive, comfy space and escaping the small, shitty, abusive world she was raised in prior, or in Akane's own growth and rejection of that same small world, as well as the permanence of one's actions having come from and having been a part of what made that world so small and unhealthy to begin with, and growing past that and coming to terms with it.
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This is a super dumb question but does anyone know when I’m ‘allowed’ to start using he/they pronouns? Literally I have thought about using them solely out of a sense of curiosity and how I mesh with it, and I am not dysphoric about being a man.
Recently I met this masc leaning non-binary person I really vibe with and I can’t help but think “maybe I might have he/they as a better fit” but I don’t want to overstep any boundaries.
I'll refer to you with they right now if you want
Good job answering his question they should have the answer now I hope.
Yeah, I replied to them hoping he would find their answer. Seems like he did!
And I cannot thank you enough, I told some of my coworkers I want to experiment with he/they are they're chill so we'll see where this takes us!
Of course! I'm glad it went well
You're allowed to use whatever pronouns you want, ID as whatever gender you want, present however you want, etc. whenever you want
*Except any that's linked to specific cultural heritage or indigeneity if you're not a member, two spirit, fa'afafine etc
Which of course most people are respectful of but worth mentioning.
Is being two spirit etc not an innate part of who someone is then?
It is but a non indigenous person especially of settler heritage identifying as two-spirit is cultural appropriation.
It's not a common phenomenon but it's happened a few times on twitter back in the day.
It's rough if someone actually strongly identifies with it, but no put it back.
So would a non indigenous person who is two spirit use a different word to describe it then? I'm not very familiar with such gender identities.
I'm not sure. I've not been in their situation
But some options could be finding another term that fits best like bigender/gender fluid/non-binary etc
Or perhaps making a new term drawing from their specific heritage etc.
Honestly though this is real rounding error stuff. It's not a common issue. But it's important to be aware of.
True, good point
if you want to, then you can. dysphoria is not a prerequisite. do what feels good to you, there are no rules saying it's not allowed.
spoiler
It is done!
You can start using them right now! If you feel you need permission, heres your permission
for me I started using different pronouns as I felt I was changing, I still remember when I used he/him and I don't regret it but it's like an old shirt that don't fit for me. I am a bit reluctant sharing they/them with people I don't know and neopronouns are even more private/experimental but yeah try it out.