Hiiii!
Today: a short yap about computer hardware:
Damn I love the AM4 socket its so upgradable yay, bought a Ryzen 9 5900X for our old desktop soon to be homelab and so excited for it.
Computers are fun! ~~(and expensive)~~
Join our public Matrix server!
https://matrix.to//#/#tracha-space:transfem.dev
https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms
As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
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I do want to have children, but I made my choice and couldn't afford to freeze sperm. I would've killed myself, frankly, if I didn't transition so not picking that was not a real option.Fortunately there are many ways to have a family where you don't get pregnant. And concerns and intense grief over fertility is something you share with a loooot of cis women, the feminine mystique is very strong. That doesn't take away the grief of not being able to be pregnant. Only to let you know that many of us share the same struggle. Living your life without being able to be pregnant is a life worth living, you can still have children but even if you don't - there are many ways you can improve childrens' lives.
When I was growing up, I was very sure I didn't want children. I even tried to get snipped at 18. Anyway, turns out I really didn't want to be a dad but being a mom would be great! It didn't work with my long term ex and I think I'm starting to get beyond any chance of biological kids. I've thought about adopting or fostering for reunification, I dunno. I have the kids at work (I'm a peds nurse) and that's working for me so far.
For what it's worth, the first children that have been born to women with uterus transplants have already been born, they're like 5 to 10 years old. They just don't allow trans women to have the procedure, but it's something that's happening right now. Maybe like a 12 year old trans girl will be able to get it 15 years from now or maybe in the next 5 years it'll be more open. We have the same blood vessels, we can take immunosuppressants, we can get the organ.
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Yeah I definitely get that, but at least cis people get to be cis. I'd honestly give anything to be cis, if reincarnation was proven to be real I would kill myself instantly as I see no worth it this current life honestly, it feels like a waste of my time.I felt the same growing up, I didn't really care about relationships or kids, but now it's often on my mind. I don't really hold a lot of hope in regards to uterus transplants, I'll most likely be too old if it ever happens, and with the backsliding of trans rights and general animosity towards trans people basically everywhere it seems like a pipe dream.
Idk it might just be one of those days. Tomorrow I'll be mentioning that I'm trans to the guy I went on a date with recently and statistically I'll get rejected afterwards so that doesn't help my mood a whole lot X_X
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Personally, I love being trans. I love waking up and getting to be a woman, I love the gender euphoria. Cis people don't really get that. I get wishing you'd been cis but personally I'm really glad I got to be transgender β‘. It's one of the best part of my life! There's hard parts but mostly that's from society being oppressive, not anything to do with being trans itself. Being trans, to me, is about joy.Hope your date goes well~
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I guess I see what you mean, but idk I still feel like I'm not a woman even though I live my life as one and am seen as one. Generally I don't care what society thinks of me, most of my dysphoria seems inherent and stems from my body. E.g. the thought of having a prostate and XY chromosomes makes me feel sick to my stomach, or looking in the mirror and seeing how puberty mangled my body. If I had the choice between life as a trans woman or never having been born, I'd rather never have been born honestly.Thank you, but I doubt there will be a second date after I tell him that I'm trans :(
And sorry for the negativityπ
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Negativity is okay, it's certainly your feelings! Feel them. I would challenge you on your despair though. You are already a woman (and a real one) and you are already everything we need. The time will come where everything that has happened to you will have made you the perfect person for some crisis or some relationship.I would challenge your self-conception of "not being a real or proper woman" because of XY chromosomes or other body stuff. What constitutes hegemonic femininity and the feminine ideal and the feminine mystique is a construction of a patriarchal and racist society - proper hegemonic femininity is very white and very rich. There are women, who are cis, who have XY chromosomes but are androgen insensitive. You'd never tell them they're not women - do not tell yourself that. You'd never tell a black woman with broad shoulders who dresses butch she doesn't count as a woman - to not tell yourself your a woman because you feel the weight of puberty or preusmably seeming secretly masc.
Grieving over infertility is normal. You're in good community with many women, cis and trans.
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Idk I'm stunted due to anxiety and depression, not sure I'd be perfect for anything other than being a work-a-holic. I kind of hope I die of a heart attack in my 30s or something, until then I can cope by sinking all my time into studying and working.I'd never judge another woman to not be a proper woman. I direct those feelings towards myself because I am disgusted by myself and my body.
Idk I should probably just go to bedπ