Hiiii!
Today: a short yap about computer hardware:
Damn I love the AM4 socket its so upgradable yay, bought a Ryzen 9 5900X for our old desktop soon to be homelab and so excited for it.
Computers are fun! ~~(and expensive)~~
Join our public Matrix server!
https://matrix.to//#/#tracha-space:transfem.dev
https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms
As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
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spoiler
Personally, I love being trans. I love waking up and getting to be a woman, I love the gender euphoria. Cis people don't really get that. I get wishing you'd been cis but personally I'm really glad I got to be transgender ♡. It's one of the best part of my life! There's hard parts but mostly that's from society being oppressive, not anything to do with being trans itself. Being trans, to me, is about joy.Hope your date goes well~
spoiler
I guess I see what you mean, but idk I still feel like I'm not a woman even though I live my life as one and am seen as one. Generally I don't care what society thinks of me, most of my dysphoria seems inherent and stems from my body. E.g. the thought of having a prostate and XY chromosomes makes me feel sick to my stomach, or looking in the mirror and seeing how puberty mangled my body. If I had the choice between life as a trans woman or never having been born, I'd rather never have been born honestly.Thank you, but I doubt there will be a second date after I tell him that I'm trans :(
And sorry for the negativity😅
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Negativity is okay, it's certainly your feelings! Feel them. I would challenge you on your despair though. You are already a woman (and a real one) and you are already everything we need. The time will come where everything that has happened to you will have made you the perfect person for some crisis or some relationship.I would challenge your self-conception of "not being a real or proper woman" because of XY chromosomes or other body stuff. What constitutes hegemonic femininity and the feminine ideal and the feminine mystique is a construction of a patriarchal and racist society - proper hegemonic femininity is very white and very rich. There are women, who are cis, who have XY chromosomes but are androgen insensitive. You'd never tell them they're not women - do not tell yourself that. You'd never tell a black woman with broad shoulders who dresses butch she doesn't count as a woman - to not tell yourself your a woman because you feel the weight of puberty or preusmably seeming secretly masc.
Grieving over infertility is normal. You're in good community with many women, cis and trans.
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Idk I'm stunted due to anxiety and depression, not sure I'd be perfect for anything other than being a work-a-holic. I kind of hope I die of a heart attack in my 30s or something, until then I can cope by sinking all my time into studying and working.I'd never judge another woman to not be a proper woman. I direct those feelings towards myself because I am disgusted by myself and my body.
Idk I should probably just go to bed😅