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Anyone here have experience with changing their last name? (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/anti_cishet_aktion@hexbear.net
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After some recent shit with my family I've finally made the difficult decision that I need to cut them off one day and that I'm not going to have a relationship with them going forwards. When I get the chance to change my legal name I'm also going to change my last name too as a way of separation from them all. I've already picked a new first and middle name but I really have no idea what to do for the last one. Like last names have histories behind them and a lot of time it has to do with what country or culture you've come from so it would be weird of me to pick a last name based in a culture that I'm not from.

Has anyone else gone through this? Do you all have any advice for how to start choosing one?

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[–] 1 point 2 years ago* (1 child)

I took my grandmothers maiden name. It made sense to me, and fits with how i am. Maybe you could find a family member who you had actual connection and familial love for and take their maiden name? Alternatively, pick up a census and start reading? Idk not sure thats helpful but its what i got 😅.

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 2 years ago

    Maybe you could find a family member who you had actual connection and familial love for and take their maiden name?

    yea yea yea

    My sister is the one and only person that comes anywhere close to having a connection with me, my feelings range from indifferent to dislike to hate for literally every other family member I have

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    • [–] 1 point 2 years ago* (2 children)

    it would be weird of me to pick a last name based in a culture that I'm not from

    So you've already ruled out Stalin and Kim then?

    Historically, surnames have come from parents' names (double points to Alicia O'Shea Petersen), trades (Cooper, Sawyer, Shepherd, etc), places (Newton, da Vinci), and seemingly random things (Green, Rose, Windlass).

    If you also like puns, you could be "Miss Wright", a "worker" trades surname that may also reflect how you feel about yourself. Children have often taken the names of adoptive parents, so you might also adopt a name from someone inspiring that you'd like to feel more connected to. Or you could start an entirely new family name and just make something up.

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 2 years ago (1 child)

    Lmao my very first thought of what to go with was Marx but that would be way too weird of me to go with lol.

    Idk about picking the last name of someone I know, I don't really have a role model or anything like that. I look up to my friends but that would be way way to weird to steal one of their last names and I definitely don't want to do that.

    Thank you for the lists though! I'll look through them to see if any one of them stands out to me.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago

    I was thinking more historical figure or fictional character (Austen novels are full of Miss Morland, Miss Fairfax, etc) rather than someone you know personally for existing names to adopt. I agree it'd be weird to use one of those unless it was offered to you.

    I've known a "Marks", which you might be able to pass off as coincidence should the similarity to "Marx" arise, at least with people who don't know you've changed your name.

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