2039: Barron is now 12'7". Warriors of lesser nations tremble in his shadow. He eats granite boulders for breakfast and shits bullets. Woe betide any who cross his path
this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2024
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Holy shit it's him, isn't it
He still need to jump few aristocratic tiers from mere Baron to Emperor though.
kinda feel bad for him tbh? Like imagine your fucking dad is Trump. Donald J. Trump. As your dad. Like 
when your dad becomes the president and you have to move into a smaller house
Trump is your dad and you're a techy kid with probably unfettered access to the internet lmfao
Reminder that rich people inject their kids with growth hormones and a bunch of them got diseases back in the day since it was harvested from cadavers.
In case anyone wants to read something on this that is recent. Turns out some people do not have early-onset Alzheimer's its just their brains turning into sponges due to prion disease.
When just inbreeding is not enough, rich dudes find a new ways to fuck themselves up.
patch notes
What's new in Barron v17.1.2
- Increased shoe size from 12 to 13
- Added a taste for caviar
- Adjusted daily caloric intake from 3,300 kcal/day to 3,600 kcal/day to account for lacrosse training
- Various bug fixes
I know that's how genetics tend to work, but wow do their faces look alike in this picture
The height kind of disproves gene theory
Trump is 6'0" and Melania is 5'11"
If you average them out, adding 6 inches to Melania to control for males being taller, Barron should be 6'2.5"
It basically proves that the genetics for height aren't understood at all, like even a little bit
Height seems to be mostly an epigenetic thing based on multi-generational nutrition, with a lot of fuzzy wiggle room to just do whatever. Like if multiple generations don't suffer famine then they get progressively taller and eventually start hovering around the 6' mark, while populations under frequent nutritional stress remain smaller and hover around the 5' mark. And that's even before getting into weirder nutritional diseases that can further stunt growth and development if a population's diet lacks certain things.
And then there are just wild outliers, like anyone going well above 6' is probably not genetics so much as random chance (unless they have specific genetic disorders that cause increased height alongside serious health problems).
Fun fact: napoleonic army had a requirement of height around 130cm to get drafted, though it is more indicative by the need to grab anyone breathing into the boots than by the average height of population, someone this short wouldn't probably be taken into line service anyway because he would have serious troubles loading the musket.
Two short kings taking turns standing on each other's shoulders to load their muskets
Short soldiers in Napoleonic army were usually pontoniers or voltigeurs.
The Slenderman gene skips generations
How tall was Melania's bodyguard in the mid '90s?
Kid was born in 2006
Great, now I feel even older.
here we are... at the point where our parents once were.. thinking.. fuck i'm old, but i don't feel that old
"I used to be with 'it', but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it' anymore and what's 'it' seems weird and scary. It'll happen to you!"
I simultaneously relate to and don't relate to this comment. Like sure they change what "it" is all the time and I'm not where the kids are so I don't find out until months later, but I've always been pretty open minded so I never think it's weird and scary.
boomer
You are as old as you feel you are.
In which case i have serious dissonance where my brain is telling me "18" but the back is screaming "70!"
If it makes you feel any better I'm only a couple years older than him and also can't wrap my mind around the fact '06 kids are 18 this year
Also idk if it's the hair and the suit but he looks like 28 here?
It was Marla Maples with the bodyguard. Not enough conspiracy theories about Spencer Wagner's death. We should start one.
...for you.
He will continue growing until one day he wil eat the moon
Has he ever smiled?
Woould you ever smile if your dad was Trump? Just look at Don Jr, the pain behind his eyes
LOTTA LOYALTY FOR A HIGHER SON
fuck me this is good
Standing lessons really paying off, I see
PROOF OF NEPHILIM (REAL)
picture of barron trump
Been saying for years the B Trump is the last of the half nephilim and will bring about heaven on earth.
not sure if someone posted it here last night or where i saw it, but another post pointed out that Barron is 6'8 and Slovenian, so he can certainly dunk and should go for a high draft pick
if you renamed him barronic trumpovic and took like three videos of him shooting baskets in front of his house he could be drafted in the first round at any point between 1996 and 2012, even with absolutely no record of any kind of basketball experience
Strong Skyrim character creator vibes from that picture.
Many people have been saying this
This is like a Welcome to the Machine moment for him isn't it? Those eyes look like pain. Last I seen of him was when he was just up to Trump's midsection.
Those eyes look like pain
Imagine holding out for an inheritance and Donald Trump is your dad. Eric and Don Jr have both been alive long enough that their brains are permanently ruined by it, and Baron is currently going through the process of being ruined by it. Those eyes are why Marla took Tiffany and ran (not that it mattered much in the end tho).
He might just be into looksmaxxing or whatever for the month
Edit: after ruminating, I feel like he’d definitely be a mewer, and that he shares his dad’s epigenetic behavior of thinking that every character in Succession is Literally Him
Where's the Tiffany Trump update? How tall is she? How's her javelin throw? When's she going to appear on First We Feast's Hot Ones™?
Trump claims 6'3 so far as everyone knows he's closer to 6'0 or 6'1. And wears lifts lol.
Dumb goofball
It's like the social media version of seeing a distant relative and them going "You've grown so big since I've last seen you!" idk
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