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[–] 140 points 2 years ago (6 children)

To be fair, as a man, I've also done this when I was about to meet a girl. In case I get jumped or something. You never know with internet strangers.

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  • [–] 48 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    I've met many internet strangers before, and I've never had an experience like that bbefore. That said, I also generally meet strangers in public places, so nothing happens.

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  • [–] 23 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Good rule of thumb for any meeting where you might end up in a non-public space.

    If you're just doing a buy/sell thing, you can count on doing the entire exchange in a public space. If you're meeting someone for a date, you might end up in a more secluded setting. It doesn't happen as much around where I live, but I've read stories of it happening in other parts of the world

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  • [–] 114 points 2 years ago (6 children)

    With my experience with dating sites if I was into murdering random internet strangers I don't think I'd use dating sites to acquire targets, the amount of legwork would be unreasonable, it's almost impossible to get anyone to talk to on those things.

    How am I supposed to lure potential victims to my kill dungeon if they ghost me all the time? Seriously it's a problem.

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    [–] 109 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    As a gay man, this is also pretty common. I have a friend who knows if I ever get laid, specifically because he's my emergency "if I'm murdered here's what to tell the people" person.

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  • [–] 95 points 2 years ago (7 children)

    I actually had a girl take a picture of me while I was driving specifically for that purpose when I picked her up for our first date. She told me "I just need to send my friend your picture in case you murder me." Lol

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  • [–] 97 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    I hope you sighed deeply and then said "well, guess I have to murder your friend now too".

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  • [–] 51 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Yeah, if they find that funny or not would be an easy way to check for compatibility

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  • [–] 15 points 2 years ago*

    I have a close friend who when I first met I asked out and she rejected me. Now when she goes on a date and texts me something like "hope he's not a serial killer", and I text her back "oh is that a dealbreaker for you? Guess we never would have worked anyway"

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  • [–] 20 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

    Honestly be way better to take a picture of the vehicle plate, then she doesn't even have to make you aware of it, and the plate is in a database, unlike your face. On top of that, she can use a police procedure that exists for making vehicle stops: touch the side of your car with a bare hand, leaving prints on the finish for forensics.

    Or, IDK, maybe she did all of the above

    Edit: Now that I think about it, making you aware of it might actually be part of the plan. If you were going to murder her, you might just cut the date off early instead, saving her some time and a murder

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  • [–] 76 points 2 years ago (7 children)

    I once went on a date with a girl and when I got to the bar there were four of her friends at the table! They left once they made sure I wasn't a murderer.

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  • [–] 75 points 2 years ago (6 children)

    How did they make sure you were not a murderer though? You didn't murder her instantly in the restaurant in front of them and tjat was good enough for them.

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  • [–] 68 points 2 years ago (9 children)

    My friend and I just share our phone locations with eachother whenever one of us has a date with someone new. It makes everything dead simple. I can check at any time and see that they are not in a dumpster behind the Aldi.

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    [–] 49 points 2 years ago (14 children)

    I have seen a couple of girls looking stuck and helped them out. I made sure they took a picture of the reg and passed it on. To me it makes sense, increasing the chances of someone being found out makes them less likely to be a danger.

    My pet hate is realising I am walking behind some girl who has started looking nervous. There is very little you can do to alleviate it. If you slow down it looks suspicious, and they don't want you near them so it is hard to walk past to get in front. It is a price most men face because of other people misgivings.

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago (6 children)

    i mean if you really want to ameliorate that - Stop and tie your shoelace, or adjust your sock like it's slipped into your shoe or something.

    Then look around to get your bearings and pause for a minute. Check your phone or something.

    This is assuming you are also keeping yourself safe and such activities won't inspire a mugging of your own personage.

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  • [–] 18 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (4 children)

    Ah, the good old "stop, act as if there was a good reason for that, and casually look around to see if there are any witnesses" of the rapist/thief preparing to pounce.

    Or at least, that's how it might very well be read by somebody already afraid and getting a bit paranoid because some guy has been walking behind her for the last couple of blocks.

    The best way to not act suspicious is to not act at all - unless you're a great actor, doing a mini-performance instead of just keep on doing your thing normally will often feel off to most people, especially if they're a bit paranoid and thus extra alert for anything unusual.

    Ideally, IMHO, just ignore that person altogether, as any reaction, even just accelerating your step to pass that person because you're trying to be nice and not seem to be following her, might be noticed (from the sound of the footsteps) and increase a person's paranoia.

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    [–] 49 points 2 years ago (5 children)

    So you just gotta put a different name and picture on your bumble profile and then you can get away with murder scott free right?

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  • [–] 41 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    If you pass along the profile screenshot, the police could reach out to Bumble for the details. Dating apps have an incentive to boot bad users off their platform, and a murder-y one would be bad for business

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  • [+] 26 points 2 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)
  • [–] 50 points 2 years ago* (2 children)

    It's partly fatalistic humor, partly practical. There is risk in the situation to everyone involved, but it's way higher for women. You inform people of the circumstances of the date to increase your safety.

    Letting someone else know your whereabouts is good defensive thinking. Wrapping the real need to do it in humor is a way to remove some of the sting from the truth of why youre doing it.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Interestingly, it's only defensive thinking if you also let your date know that someone else knows your exact location.

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  • [–] 17 points 2 years ago

    Its still defensive because if you go missing, there is a known suspect, time and location.

    Wont help if he chokes you to death in a nearby car, but if you're kidnapped, it gives police or competent parties a chance to find you.

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  • [–] 23 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    Not true. It's a risk analysis. The risk may be high, but some women still think the potential benefit is worth it.

    It's why so many people still play the lottery.

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    [–] 17 points 2 years ago (10 children)

    Date at a random strangers house? No way, unsafe! Going over to random strangers house to pick up a cheap Louis Vutton? Aww yeah!

    I'm just saying, the predators probably mostly use easier ways to lure a victim than going through the trouble to find a date.

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  • [–] 28 points 2 years ago (7 children)

    I personally don't know any women who have ever gone to someone's house to purchase something. You meet in a well lit public place during the day, just like any sane person. Women do face threats to their health and safety when going out with strange men. It seems you're under the impression that murder is what we are trying to avoid when it's much much more common that women are raped and/or drugged on dates. Although avoiding murder is also a top priority but that's a given for literally everyone on the planet.

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