So I don't risk fucking up thermodynamics next time I drop acid and making atoms stop being a thing.

If you've read Watchmen you know what the downside of that power is. Godlike power leads to detachment from the human race. You lose the connection to everything you ever loved, to your humanity.

The worst that being a shapeshifter will do to you is getting you into some kinky sex.

Yeah, but then you'd really know what it sounds like when a hand grenade goes off in a bank vault.

You can stuff a roll of hundos up any of your holes and when you turn into a pen, the money stays inside you, so if you're willing to sodomize yourself, you can make like five thousand dollars a pop. I've done this forty-six thousand times and I am buying my third house with cash as we speak!

Why the tip of your finger? Just use a fingernail, clip it off, donezo.

It's kind of a tacit rule that it's about comic book super powers so we don't go biblical with it, but I get it. Hell, marvel has reality benders. I use "pick a mutant power" so at least we're working in x-men lore.

Good luck plucking out the neutrons, protons and electrons off each lead atom, I've heard they don't enjoy staying still

Magic.

Mind control can't change your sex (or just make it feel better, with fast recovery), make you live longer, or help out when you're having a rough time on the toilet.

It just turns everyone into your slave. You're a villain by default.

More importantly, it's super boring. People with mind control powers can have whatever they want—materially—with basically zero effort just by forcing people to give them stuff. There's no struggle, and if there is any, it's just you sweating or getting a headache while staring off into the distance.

Lol, lazy ass.

“Yee, I wish for a superpower that makes people think I have a superpower”

“Why”

“Can’t be arsed with the whole flying thing, just rather sit on that couch right here”

Think through the state of the world and the consequences of those things. Unless you're also invincible you will be killed for doing literally any of those things.

Lets just do world hunger. We produce around 2.5x the amount of food needed to feed everyone to the average american caloric intake. That's something we already do. We have the ability to ship any good anywhere in the world within 12 hours, or alternatively, keep a good fresh enough to be sold over MONTHS of transportation (think the fresh fruits picked in South America that is shipped to Thailand to be processed and shipped to china to be packaged then shipped to the US to be sold 3-6 months after they were picked.).

We have no world hunger. There is not a lack of food. There is not a lack of transportation.

Hunger is used as a weapon. Period. That is the totality of the reason that any single person or group of people do not have the ability eat 3 square meals a day.

If you, as (presumably) an American were to just bring food to Cuba, you will be investigated by congress and Trump's DOJ both on criminal charges. (see Hasan Piker currently being subpeanoaed for just filming Cubans and bringing food.)

If you magically could produce infinite food, you have just taken away the most used weapon in world history. This means you are the single most hated and despised person by not only those in power, by but everyone that benefits from those in power, and that's a lot of people, and they own (effectively) all the guns and nukes.

The reason people dream small with superpowers is because, realistically, as long as you don't drastically change the status quo, you're safe.

Selective time control, so you can pause, rewind, fast forward things independently. Now you've added immortality into the mix.

• Starting to feel the effects of aging? Just rewind yourself while leaving the rest of the universe in place.
• Got injured or diseased somehow? Just rewind yourself to before that happened and try again. Or, if it's inevitable, just keep rewinding over and over again to enjoy your good health before that happens.
• Always keep your perceptions a few minutes ahead of your body/brain. That way, you can never be hurt or killed by surprise -- you'll always see it coming a few minutes ahead of time, and you can either pause or rewind time in order to avoid it.
• You can keep any loved ones immortal as well, if you choose. Just rewind them to reverse it if they ever age or get injured or even die.

Beyond immortality, it also provides you with other incredibly powerful (and perhaps terrifying) abilities:

• You can, of course, become incredibly wealthy if you choose. Lottery numbers are your playground. Perfectly timed investment choices are trivial. You can accrue decades' worth of compound interest in seconds. (Do be careful, though. You could probably wreck the global economy if you take this too far.) Robbing banks is so beneath you. How much cash does a typical bank have on hand, anyway? A measly few hundred thousand? You could easily make millions, billions of clean, legit dollars in the blink of an eye. Forget robbing the bank, you could easily own the bank.

• From an outside perspective, you never seem to need to sleep. And you can definitely never be caught sleeping and vulnerable. You just need to pause time around you whenever you want to take a nap, then resume time when you wake up.

• It unlocks true 'time travel' -- by pausing yourself and moving the universe forward or backward around you, you can travel freely to the past or the future. And not just yourself, either. You could easily take objects or people with you if you wanted.

• By extending the 'keep your perceptions a few minutes ahead' strategy, you can gain limited clairvoyance -- always knowing what's going to happen in the future. At least, what's going to happen to and around you in the future.

• You can now 'teleport' to any location that you could otherwise get to. Just pause the universe around you while you go there, and resume the universe after arriving. Alternately, you could just slow the rest of the universe instead of pausing it entirely, and now you can cosplay as a super-speedster who can move arbitrarily fast.

• In the (unlikely) event that you actually need to fight someone instead of just using time shenanigans to avoid the fight, you could go back in time and either prevent what made them mad at you in the first place, or kill them while they were young and vulnerable ... or sterilize their grandfather, so they never existed in the first place.

• If you want to fight someone without messing up the continuity of the universe and potentially creating huge butterfly effects, you can just fast-forward or rewind them specifically. Rewind them until they're a fetus. Fast-forward them until they're a dusty skeleton. Really horrify your enemies by doing that half-and-half -- age regress their top half while accelerated-aging their bottom half. Or just pause them indefinitely and leave them as a helpless statue. You could even troll them by slowing them way down -- let them try to fight you while moving at glacial speed. Laugh at them while the bullet they shot at you takes decades to cross the room. (For extra trauma points, you could slow/pause most of their body, while allowing their brain/sensory organs/vital organs to continue at full speed, so they'd be fully aware of how slow they're moving and able to internally agonize about it for a long time.)

Shapeshifting into inanimate things is great until you find out it's DnD polymorph rules and it gives you 0 INT/CHA/WIS, I would be afraid of testing tbh

Then the detective's buddy looks at you and says:

"Ooh. Tough split."