"WTF? I'm going to get crucified for little Timmy, when he beats off on his dad's OnlyFans account in 2022? That's a no."
Jesus ALLOWED himself to be crucified because of our sins.
He noped out.
dude that's some weak sauce in the meme
what of dropping nukes on Japan, or gassing jews or the jews obliterating their neighbors, or the genocide of native inhabitants by immigrant colonists, or shooting protestors or ad infinitum.
Yeah OPs is way funnier than yours. Sorry boss.
> dropping nukes on Japan
> Jewish genocide
> Palestinian genocide
> native inhabitant genocide
> shooting protestors
It's officially canon that God doesn't see these as sins because he's a cunt.
I love when people use these tame little examples of sinful fetishes when there is an entire galaxy of god-awful things people get off to in this world. I think Jesus let himself be taken out cause there's not enough eye bleach in the universe...
cranking your hog to questionable material is not prohibited in the ten commandments
Or saw a guy jacking it to wario hentai and was like 'this isnt so much a sacrifice as an escape'.
Or a guy rap*ng a child then murder it. No way that was real, he simply landed in this garden orgy and joined in. Deciding, orgies are nice, gotta protect the homies.
Jesus be like "oh god they're gettin creative"
Bold of you to assume that was a sin
Well it was a guy. Makes it gay. You know how that mythology feels about gay.
I know that the Old Testament spat out some dubiously translated shit that was abolished by the new covenant and Jesus had jack and shit to say about gays sooooooooo
You guys, the best Jesus stories aren't in the Bible. Look up the "Apocrypha" to get a list of these books.
In one, a schoolboy aged Jesus kills a kid and then brings him back to life, just to be a show-off little shit. He did plenty of sinning himself.
Wild, wild stuff, including lots of stories about Jesus' childhood.
That’s… not a thought I was prepared to have today 💀
You know, it's kind of refreshing to think that somebody tried to think of the most horrific sexual perversion imaginable, and could only come up with Waluigi hentai.
c/wholesome
The hardest thing to do is invent an entirely new perversion.
I put 2 rats, a clove of garlic and a 1/4 cup of heavy cream in my Ninja blender, then funnel the resulting mixture into my ass while an obese clown massages my taint.
That's just a Juggalo Jiggle.
I think the bloodhound gang is still ahead of you on that one.
Nah after that he just wanted to die..
Jesus can get off his high horse. I bet he has a sordid browser history himself.
Judea had no age of consent i did nothing wrong!
-Jesus
Mostly feet.
John 13:4-7:
so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
Giggity
Hell, what about Mark 14:51. What was Jesus doing with this naked guy on the night he was betrayed?
(45 So when he came, he went up to him at once and said, “Rabbi!” and kissed him. 46 Then they laid hands on him and arrested him. 47 But one of those who stood near drew his sword and struck the slave of the high priest, cutting off his ear. 48 Then Jesus said to them, “Have you come out with swords and clubs to arrest me as though I were a rebel? 49 Day after day I was with you in the temple teaching, and you did not arrest me. But let the scriptures be fulfilled.” 50 All of them deserted him and fled.)
51 A certain young man was following him, wearing nothing but a linen cloth. They caught hold of him, 52 but he left the linen cloth and ran off naked.
naked guy
Neaniskos in the original Greek, not just a boy but a little boy
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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
