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This book being the foundation of Western morality explains so, so much
Belgian Congo vibes
This is something brace would do as a bit
The Bible is a book of bits that people don't think are bits
Iron Age cumtown
Some of them are bits of literal dick flesh
I remember as a teen watching some live action movie about the life of David and there was literally a scene where he shows up with a bloody bag full of foreskins. He didn't take them out and count them but he did drop a dripping sack of bloody dick skin at Saul's feet.
bloody bag full of foreskins
I probably would have gone my entire life without ever seeing that combination of words if I never stumbled into this thread.
Dudes rock?
That's a a lotta foreskin!
Yeah but he gained like 6 levels doing all the farming
Better than the kill quests in vanilla wow. I'm still looking for that last zeevrah hoof to this very day 
If you have a foreskin, I'll snip it!
I LOVED this movie as a kid. The homie had a copy at a sleepover one night and we could not get enough of it, as is expected from like 8 year old boys hahaha
They’ll show the foreskin bag to children but god forbid David smooches Jonathan
Whoa. I'm 30 years old and was educated in the parochial school system (Catholic schools, aka segregation academies) and in all those years of mandatory religion class (preschool thru highschool) had never heard this one. I had to look it up. What a fuckin weird thing to request.
When I was younger, I read the bible of my own initiative (as an Atheist), and I remember this as:
The guy requested something ridiculous as a fuck-off fuck-you, and then the guy massacred hundreds of people and actually ripped their dicks off, and then the guy was like - shit - uhhh, let's not piss this guy off. A deal's a deal.
And then religious people start talking about the symbolism of foreskin removal an piety, and this righteous warrior undergoing a heroic divine challenge to win the girl.
And I thought, did we read the same book? They don't read the book, they have snippets selected for them in church, and someone chooses for them how to interpret it.
I tried to do the same thing at around 13/14 years old. I couldn't get through all of the old testament (torah) because it was full of absolutely insane nonsense. When I got tired of reading the super weird rules about sex and incest I decided to skip to revelations and call it quits.
After figuring that catholicism was pretty weird and whack I landed on atheistish zen Buddhism and did that for like a decade. I have since take the shahada and converted to Islam.
The Talmud discusses this, as that was the price of the dowry to Michal(?), to wed Saul's daughter. The foreskins have no value, but the caveat is that it has value as dog food. (The internet says it's in Tractate Sanhedrin 19b, although I don't know how reliable that is but I knew it was in there.)
It was indeed a way to get David killed, since Saul was losing his grip on his sanity because he was being tormented by a prophecy and an evil spirit that fed and exacerbated on his own internal weaknesses.
The character of David is meant to represent what it would be like to be a warrior with bloodlust and desensitization to carnage if he directed his energies toward the service of God. Religious scholars and tradition contrast this with Esau, Jacob's firstborn, who also shared David's temperament but used it for evil and self-indulgence.
Is this borderlands 4? Or is this gonna be in 5?
You don't need to kill them to get their foreskin though. Seems a bit over the top that way tbh 
It was to prove that the people he killed weren't Israelites. The foreskins weren't the objective, murdering neighbouring people so that they could expand was.
Killing newborn Israelites and then telling the king: "Ha ha. Look! Those Philistines all have tiny penises. Isn't that funny?" 
I wonder if he tried asking them nicely first?
"Hey, bro. Can you help out a homie by giving me your foreskin, so I can get some pussy in return?"
This is no joke grind quest mechanic
The planning and thought process of comissioning this art as something of pride in a kids book...
If this happened in the DC universe he'd be a hero (villain?) after this known as The Foreskinner
Ahhh, so THAT'S where they got that one quest from in WoW: Burning Crusade. Fucking Zangarmarsh, I swear to God.
this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2026
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