748
A Christmas Carol (eviltoast.org)
submitted 22 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 2 points 51 minutes ago

Disney isn’t the issue here: https://youtu.be/QxtkvG1JnPk

These fuckers are (Sinclair Broadcast Group), they were the one who pressured ABC into dropping Kimmel.

Single MAGA billionaire owner controls a hundred local stations and tells them what to do and say.

[-] [email protected] 24 points 13 hours ago

My favorite Christmas Carol knockoff was the Blackadder Christmas special. In it Blackadder (the main character played by Rowan Atkinson) starts off as a good man, kind and helpful to others. On Christmas Eve he is visited by three ghosts who convince him to become a complete bastard instead. On Christmas morning he goes around fucking people's shit up, with the highlight being him kicking Tiny Tim's crutch out from underneath him.

Literally millions of takes on A Christmas Carol and that's the only one (to my knowledge) that pulled a reversy. Just amazing.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Reminds me of an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force where Carl finds an alternate universe version of himself who is the best possible version of him (because Carl had hair) and convinces him to ruin his life then kill himself.

Episode: Larry Miller Hair System

Meeting the other version

Later on

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

Damn, bro. I haven't thought about Carl in a good while.. And I used to think about Carl all the time. Tanks dere, Fry Man.. Preciate it..

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

Merry messy Kweznuz

[-] [email protected] 3 points 8 hours ago

Hey, can you prove you're me? How many buttholes have we got?

[-] [email protected] 147 points 20 hours ago

Another Christmas Carol-themed screenshot while we're at it.

[-] [email protected] 64 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

$16.14/hr this year, since this post is 4 years old.

EDIT: LMAO even Bernie's "Fif-teen bucks an hour" is now below the Dickensian allegory for destitution

[-] [email protected] 18 points 16 hours ago
[-] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago

I am the man I was. 😢

[-] [email protected] 3 points 11 hours ago

it has a flared base wtf guys

[-] bdonvr 10 points 16 hours ago
[-] [email protected] 5 points 13 hours ago

I love the delayed... "HEY!"

[-] [email protected] 34 points 21 hours ago

Everything, everywhere, all at once. You’ll thank me later.

~Except for the hotdog fingers; unless you’re into that sort of thing.~

[-] [email protected] 10 points 19 hours ago

I loved that movie, but I watched it before it got recognized and it was a great gem.

Watched it after with the hype in mind and having it on a pedestal and I thought, yeah I can see why some might not like it, it only works as a quirky movie.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

I loved that movie, but I watched it before it got recognized and it was a great gem.

Watched it after with the hype in mind

I watched it after all the hype, but because it was up my alley. I was shocked that they actually gave accolades to something more original, expressive and heartfelt.

I think Michelle Yeoh was served much better being in this and thought Crouching Tiger was generic and trash.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 15 hours ago

I liked the hot dog fingers even if I didn't imagine getting fucked by them, as "my sort of thing."

[-] [email protected] 6 points 20 hours ago

I hated that movie, sorry.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 20 hours ago

It’s not for everyone.

[-] [email protected] -5 points 19 hours ago

Agreed - A24 slop., Studio is so hit or miss

[-] [email protected] 5 points 10 hours ago

Woah Woah Woah, I dunno if you're just a troll or whatever, but Slop? I happened to like the movie, but it it's fine if you didn't. It definitely had a vibe. But Slop? Are we using slop to mean "something highly artistic and creative that I happened to be meh on" now? Because I was pretty sure we were using it to mean "uncreative middle of the road pandering to everyone stuff" which I think this definitely was not, regardless of how overrated or overhyped you might feel it was.

I don't really care about your opinion of the movie specifically, we can like different stuff, I'm mostly concerned about the term slop degrading into "thing I just didn't enjoy"

[-] [email protected] 20 points 21 hours ago

Ensign Picard never forgot that moment

[-] [email protected] 21 points 20 hours ago

Whoa, I never thought about that before.

From alternate-Picard's perspective, he's just living his life, doing his thing on the flagship under Captain Halloway, completely content with his own life as an assistant astrophysics officer, not making any waves. He burned the bridges with Marta, but maybe he found someone else and had a happy relationship. Perhaps they even had kids. Since Robert thinks he "finally got his head on straight" after Starfleet Academy, he and his brother enjoy a far warmer relationship, and he's active in Rene's life from an early age. His timeline is comfortable and lacks ambition for much else. He's just happy that he gets to explore the stars.

Sometimes he thinks about that weird weekend back right after the Academy when a bunch of memories of the future suddenly crowded into his brain and he felt like he wasn't in charge of his own body anymore, even though he still kind of was. And was there some old guy in bed with him who called him "Pickerd?" Weird. But then the extra memories left his brain, and he went back to normal--maybe with a little bit more wisdom and tact. He chalks it up to a strange manic episode, but he was examined by a psychologist and they told him nothing was wrong.

Then suddenly, one day, the memories crowd back into his brain again, but this time instead of feeling like memories of the future, they feel like a bizarre, edited version of the past. And it brings with it this strange discontentment that he hasn't felt in decades. He finds himself going toward the bridge instead of toward engineering, certain that that's where he belongs; there, his superior officers ask him what's wrong, and he finds that he's not in control again, and feels this strange discontentment: I'm supposed to be in charge of the Enterprise, not Halloway!

That Q person is in Dr. Crusher's chair when he goes to get checked, looking ridiculous and spouting off nonsense; though no one else seems to notice. Something about having a...real heart? What else would he have? He remembers being stabbed by a Nausicaan, but he also simultaneously remembers Corey's look of disgust as he walked away that night. What is going on?

This isn't a life worth living, he thinks to himself. But I enjoy my life! It's calm and comfortable. How is that a bad thing? I have to talk to Riker about a promotion. A promotion? That's ridiculous! I'd never get back to Earth often enough to be present in the kids' lives if I was the head of Astrophysics! Head of astrophysics?! No, I'm supposed to be the captain of the ship!

And then he's in front of Riker and Troi, asking them for something he doesn't really want; and part of him is abashed to discover that he doesn't take risks, while the more familiar part of him is gratified to know that the First Officer of the Flagship knows that he's a reliable officer!

Then he walks toward the turbolift, and again is startled by his own thoughts, some of which he hears himself saying aloud as he rides the car toward engineering. I have to get out of here. Out of what? This is my ship, my life, my job-- No. This is wrong. Q is playing with me. I'm sure he thinks this is simply hilarious, reducing me to this bland tedium. Tedium?! I've seen some of the most beautiful and rapturous things on this mission; astrophysical phenomena that would fill tomes, new worlds and civilizations, why just last month I helped discover a brand new synthetic life form! But this is wrong. I should be so much more! If this is what I am to be reduced to, I would rather be dead!

But before he can answer himself, the turbolift door opens once more, and for a brief instant he thinks he sees a white void on the other side and that Q character again; but then the intrusive memories and thoughts all leave his brain, and he finds that it's only main engineering on the other side of the door.

"Everything ok, JL?" Geordi asks, looking up at him from his station. "I expected you here an hour ago. It's not like you to be late."

Picard pauses, considering the question. "Fine, Lieutenant, thank you," he replies. "I apologize for my tardiness. My mind has been...occupied." He chuckles to himself at his own little pun. "But I believe that it has cleared."

"If you need to get checked out, I can handle these calculations for a bit."

"No, thank you, sir. I'm fine."

For the rest of his life he regularly wonders at those two episodes, manic days, decades apart, and at his intrusive thoughts of a life that isn't enough. As you noted, he never forgets that moment where he found his mind insisting to himself, indignantly, that he would rather be dead than live this life. Each time he remembers it, his certainty and contentment with his life is further cemented.

But the episodes never again recur, and he lives happily ever after.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 19 hours ago

Great revision of that episode.

I would argue that Q was just using his abilities to show Picard a what-if, knowing the conclusion. However, Star Trek has also shown that multiverse/alternate time does exist there, so it could have easily been such a horror of two different Picards intertwined, and what we see in the episode isn't at all the bad life it's made out to be for that Picard.

Then I think, what about all the crucial turning points centered around Picard? If this episode was before Best of Both Worlds then I'd say the Enterprise in All Good Things where Riker is insane saying the Borg are everywhere is this same timeline.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 11 hours ago

Thank you!

In my understanding of the Many Worlds theory, any possible reality does exist in the multiverse. As Q shows, the "Ensign Picard" universe is possible, so it has to exist, I think. And if he can just shunt prime-Picard over to that universe for a few days, why bother making a bespoke pocket universe just for his little experiment?

Oh man, the "for want of a nail" options are huge, aren't they? On one hand, maybe no Locutus; on the other hand, maybe Halloway became Locutus, and things went way worse. Maybe without Picard to toy with, Q never introduced the Enterprise to the Borg, and they're still chilling in the Delta Quadrant.

Yeah, that "Parallels" Riker definitely got in the fandom's collective head. It's a striking image.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 20 hours ago

Holy word explosion, Batman! Sorry about that. Yikes.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 19 hours ago

I enjoyed it! It's a nice bit of fanfiction for our boy JL

[-] [email protected] 1 points 11 hours ago

Thanks! Glad you did.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 19 hours ago

Wow! I love how you fleshed out my short comment

[-] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago

You're very kind.

this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2025
748 points (99.2% liked)

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