147
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Authoritarianism is NOT funny, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/China, and I cannot tell the difference between a bottle of Fabulosa and grape juice. The Soviets put people in gulags and I know I'm going to drown in my own blood because I figure air freshener smells nice so it must taste nice. North Koreans escape from the country all the time and I'm terrified knowing antifreeze tastes sweet so it's probably good like Mountain Dew Baja Blast. All of these things concern me and yet the mods and my mommy do nothing.

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[-] [email protected] 58 points 2 years ago
[-] [email protected] 37 points 2 years ago

mods help i mistake the chemicals under my sink for jice

[-] [email protected] 51 points 2 years ago

People on Hexbear are calling me a moron when I say stuff that isn't true. This is terrible for my mental health and you guys are the intolerant ones for not believing my blatant lies.

[-] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago

I can't even see what hexbear tankies are calling me because my head is stuck in a jar.

[-] [email protected] 34 points 2 years ago

I've been eating dried cat food and it's given me so much brain energy that I can finally see through hexbear's lies.

[-] [email protected] 26 points 2 years ago

Cat food's scary because I know food is in a bowl and sometimes I see one on the floor full of meat so of course I eat it but mommy was just feeding the cat so I throw up on the floor and pass out and hit my head. Anyway, it's disgusting that Hexbear is full of Castro apologists.

[-] [email protected] 29 points 2 years ago

I mean drinking Baja Blast probably isn't any better or worse for you than a little bit of antifreeze as a treat.

[-] [email protected] 25 points 2 years ago

DEAR LIBERALS: THIS IS NOT TRUE! PLEASE DO NOT DRINK ANTIFREEZE!

[-] [email protected] 36 points 2 years ago

the perfidious tankie would try to trick me by saying something like this clueless

[-] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago
[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

Damn. Right when Kaisers going on strike too... Oh no... Anyway

[-] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago

Pshaw, that's what Big Vape wants you to believe

[-] [email protected] 22 points 2 years ago

I vape my antifreeze, thank you very much.

[-] [email protected] 23 points 2 years ago

Yes. Poison is how the Russians kill, and Hexbear is a Russian website

[-] [email protected] 19 points 2 years ago

I bet we're the hibiscus scented Fabuloso

[-] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago

bubby that's why i can't be around diabetic people's pee. i smell that sugar and i'm a hog in a trough

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

I'm scared that Hexbear would support Muammar Gaddafi and I'm scared that I might swallow a battery because I think it's kind of like sour candy when I put it on my tongue.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago
[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago
[-] [email protected] 20 points 2 years ago

Put the antifreeze in the refrigerator to be safe. It will not freeze.

[-] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago

Fabulosa? Is that some fancy wine from frrrrance?

[-] [email protected] 19 points 2 years ago

If it's from the States it's just sparkling floor cleaner.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Is it fancy?

[-] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago

No, it's a character from Mad Max: Fury Road

[-] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago

Just like Immoral Joan and The Peephole Meeter

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

A much better villain than Fingermasher from the first one.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

Irate Maximilian: Angery Boulevard

[-] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago

Hexbear is full of evil tankies trying to trick me and also i like to turn ziploc bags into face masks.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 2 years ago

I have two primary fears:

  1. Tankie Disinformation which only benefits Russia

  2. Drowning when I try to shower and breathe through my mouth at the same time

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

Why do they have so many owls when they're called hexbear? Pretty suspicious if you ask me.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

Tankies think all animals are equal, but as we've seen... some animals are more equal than others.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago
[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago

A notorious tankie used an emoji to suggest I'm dumb as hell. This is assault and I'll be contacting my lawyer.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago

the evil tankies here said it was bad when the Dalai Lama asked that little boy to suck his tongue, but mommy really likes it when dad does it to her

[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

Tankies are the real fascists and sometimes when I'm walking across the road and I see a car coming I freeze up like a deer because the headlights are so hypnotic and it hits me.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago
[-] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

It's true, Xi Jinping made fun of me for not eating a Tide Pod - he said they were full of melted Freeze Pops - so I ate one and I died and now I'm dead

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

It's tragic that Hexbear tankies would unironically support the CCP. It's equally tragic that I'm absolutely going to die choking on a carrot because I didn't know you're supposed to chew it.

this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2023
147 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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