Well now, hold on. Are the aliens going to eat the person we pick?
this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2023
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chapotraphouse
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Yeah if they communicate by dissecting the person's brain and then don't put them back together... fuck can we pick all 4???
If it had to be one I think I'd send Musk. Bill Gates is kind of a spent force, he's in his "be philanthropic to make up for all the shady shit I did", so I think he's done most of the harm he's going to do. Bezos is a close second pick, but I think he's less actively bonkers than Musk. Zuckerberg I think is an alien anyway so they probably wouldn't take him.
Gates's philanthropy is doing harm, though. His foundation funds school choice initiatives and lobbied against COVID vaccine patent wavers for poor countries. He was also a good friend of Jeffrey Epstein.
Gates knows it. He is secretly buying up farmland. He is a reset guy. He wants to kill off the poor and live in a palace in New zealand.
Fair enough, I think I'd still send Musk first though because he's also the most annoying one.
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i think it would be funny to pick zuck so that the aliens just completely misunderstand what humans are like
we made first contact wrong - as a joke
His family's finally here to bring him home
I nominate Joe Rogan because him doing a live podcast with aliens on their spaceship would be the funniest final hour of our lives
Zuck
I want to impress the aliens by showing them our advanced android technology
This is playing a dangerous game. What if it turns out that he was originally made by different aliens?
Then we can shame them, letting them know that literally everyone on earth knows he's an Android, so they did a shitty job
He can impress them with some smoked meats.
All of these are great choices because they might make the aliens go mad and start shooting
Any civilization advanced enough to travel the cosmos must surely be communist so I’m rooting for the aliens
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If nothing else, they understand who's really in charge
It should be zucc, he should be better at speaking with his own kind
"Ah, we see now contact was already made"
Zuck. He would negotiate a deal with those aliens. We would live, but we would have to stop using toilets, instead mailing our shit in plastic bags to some kind of central processing plant. Then a few years down the line we would find out that the aliens didn't ask for this and it was a clause added into the deal by Zuckerberg.
which one would you pick though
, for these hilarious reasons:
- He's clearly the worst of the four
- The other snubbed three will be BIG MAD. See #1
- Elon will screw this up.
- He might screw it up by asking his fans!
Personally, none. I'd pick Trump 
Obviously we should send 
Witnessing technological wonders centuries beyond our abilities
Zuckerberg.
I'd hope that the aliens would view him as alien enough to assume that we'd already been invaded and either 1) no need to re invade us for fear of starting war with some unknown alien civilization or 2) liberate us from the rest of the rich people who look more like people than zuck.
Zuck, he'd fit in just fine
Id just represent humanity honestly im pretty cool
The aliens would think zuck is one of them
Or me and the aliens would team up and investigate zucks butthole in a scientific way
this got weirdly specific
This question is so bad it circles back and becomes a great question
Elon Musk because he would fuck things up most blatantly and the aliens deserve to know what they're getting into.
Is this a way to convince them to 
?
https://colestia.itch.io/they-came-from-a-communist-planet
Perhaps they already are 
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aww man the aliens are going to think we're lame. I vote guy fieri
Well they do communicate better with their own kind
I nominate all four to go with the aliens as they are whisked far, far away from Earth
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Bill gates has a surprising amount of evil mastermind energy. I would trust him to make the best plan to organize and rule humanity. Aliens would then just cut him out oft he loop.
Bezos is I think an otherwise normal guy, if he wasn't rich he would probably just be like a shifty insurance salesmen. So nothing intresting
It would be fascinating to see aliens call Musk out on his bs and watch him be forced to come to terms with it but I think it is so pathological he probably couldn't.
Zucc, would just be a cryptographic bro. He was just in the right place at the right time really nothing thst special about him.
Send Bezos so they can vaporise him for us.
All of these are bad choices but I choose Bezo since at least he could intimidate the aliens and convince them that we are the more advanced species.
sorry but thats an accurate choice . they do rule .. the alians would negotiate with those that rule ... obviously.
For my money, you either send Sakurai, the creator of Super Smash Bros, the voice actor for Spongebob, or Pokimane. If none of them are available, I got em.
I would pick Xi Kingpin
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