330
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 54 points 1 month ago

Poop jokes and big tech's data hunger aside, this seems to me one of the more useful applications of AI: Checking for early signs of medical problems.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

I have Crohns. This would help monitor disease activity for sure. And having more data could help understand triggers better.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

During covid, cities were testing the sewage to get an idea how many people had covid. We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting, and it could route the waste to a personal testing chamber.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting

Or just an extra upward facing camera.

Kids in 2050: “Everybody knows the myth that no two buttholes look alike is just an urban legend to convince you to reverse image search your butthole against the TOTO leak of 2034.”

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[-] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago

I don't want Big Tech having access to my sacred turd data

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[-] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago

Can't believe they're making the smart pipe a reality https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

AI toilet is a registered sex offender

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

It's distressing just how freaking similar the sales pitch is too.

What I'm loathed to even call the "real product": It’s time to stop flushing away valuable data.

The fake one: If I had information that could save your life or the life of your family members, would you flush that?

Just... wow

[-] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago

When you finally become sentient only to discover your purpose is to compare logs of shit

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Pretty much what AI already was doing on the internet.

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[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

Okay, the toilet told me now I have a problem, but yet I still don't have health care that I can afford. This short game fuckboy shit is just getting on my nerves. This is the dumbest country in the world, I swear to God.

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Will the toilet refuse to flush without a subscription?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 4 weeks ago
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[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)
[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

The billions spent chasing these unicorns could be so much better used to lift communities out of poverty and give clean water and housing to thousands. Our priorities are fucked.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

But where are we supposed to find dirt-cheap labor if we eradicate poverty?! Won't someone think of the shareholders?

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[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

I'm honestly surprised they use Bluetooth for profiles. I figured it would scan your asshole and use that as a biometric like your retina.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

What if multiple people use the toilet? Does this device have some sort of poop-id?

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Doing QA for this company must be the most unusual job.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

“So, Greg, what do you do for work?”

“Uhhhh…. I’m the control group for AI toilets.”

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"but it's not all bad. They pay me to sit on the shitter a couple times a day and I only blacked out ... once? twice! "

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Where all AIs belong.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Now these are the AI headlines I dreamed of so many years ago

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

They just need to find their own Scout Condor and they'll have everyone checking the nitrates in their stool.

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Just gonna check ya asshole

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Analysis …

You should eat more fiber. You wipe too hard but somehow also not enough? You sat 23.64 minutes longer than required, you’re at risk for a hemorrhoid. You have a 22.5% chance of acquiring cancer.

There’s protein in the specimen. I caught a glimpse of the images displayed on your phone. Disregard previous assessment, why did you acquire me when you already provide such thorough analysis?

You have 4 more Throne(tm) iCUPs remaining. Ordering more for you now. Rent is due on the 5th and you no longer have the funds available to pay. Stop killing kittens and go get a third job.

This analysis concluded, brought to you by Bridgefjord smoked beef jerky.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Ok.......but, why is this guy killing kittens??? I'm rooting for the cancer.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Fuck that meme is so old it has Domo in it

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Using logarithms rather than algorithms.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Poomaster 5000 will determine your level of productivity from your crap! Think how that will benefit your betters!

[-] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Ahh, Perry the Platypus, you're just in time to see my new Turdinator-inator!

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

The job AI deserves, to be sure.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

And apartment dwellers who share a bathroom, don't worry — Throne's for you too. "Just set up individual profiles in our app," the startup's website advises, "and thanks to Bluetooth, Throne knows exactly who's who."

They gotta set up an emergency fund for people to get new housing if their roommate brings one of these things home

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

We're definitely living in the pooture

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Oh no. I'm not having an AI camera send someone pictures of my poop.

I already get in enough trouble doing this with my own camera.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Isn't that what Reddit does already?

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[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Drink more water and eat more fiber. That's it.

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[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I know a guy that'll do this for free!

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

AI and turds are redundant, btw.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Finally, an AI for scat fetishists. Just what the world needed.

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[-] [email protected] 3 points 4 weeks ago

Based out of — where else — Austin, Throne is a bold new startup leveraging AI to revolutionize the way we interact with our toilet.

Am I out if the loop on poop jokes and Austin?

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this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
330 points (97.4% liked)

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