this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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Someone needs to show up at his confirmation hearing and be like: “HULK HOGAN NOT ONLY ARE YOU A HOT DOG, A GRAND STANDER, A SHOWBOAT, AND A PRIMADONNA, BUT YOU'RE A LIAR TOO.”
Then Hulk flexes massively and rips his suit and shirt.
A dem senator says "One, this is not the WWE. This is congress and it shall be respected. Two, that's not really impressive. It's a novelty suit after all."
"YOU DISREPECTED THE WWE! AND ALL MY CLOTHES ARE OFF THE RACK!" He starts growling and growling. As he vocalizes he stands up and stands away from the table. He impressively leg flexes until his trousers rip all over the place. "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG!" he roars.
The dem senator is clearly afraid but tries very hard to not look it. Hulk Hogan is soon confirmed 60 to 37. Most dem senators have no comment. But John Fetterman quips "Of course I voted for him. He's big and impressive. Like me."
He looks like he's about to cry
This was genuinely the first name that popped into my head.
STRAONG *AND* PAOWERFUL.,. WHATS NOT TO LIKE?
---
I made a typo and I liked it so much that I kept going.
AND ORANGE
He looks like shit.
NICE COUCH BROTHER
"9/11 was an inside job" gets to resurface.
It unironically just did. "Building 7 was a controlled demolition" states sitting US Senator Ron Johnson (R-WI).
"Pull it"
General Ripper. And he can double as Secretary of Health and Human Services.
I've been stockpiling my prescious bodily fluids for this very moment
Hire me Mr. President, I will share fighter jet leaks in my gaming discord.
That intern who leaked those classified documents on an internet forum to prove he had security clearance to his frinds
Which one?
i believe Jack Teixeira, unless there were more than just one lol
It's happened 4 separate times just over War Thunder alone, so they got plenty of options.
Trump truly believed in Hegseth as one of his guys and got him in over a lot of resistance. House of cards will start to fall now.
Yeah any day now he will not wriggle his way out of this one.
Oh I just mean his current cabinet will collapse to infighting and turnover like his first one did.
Hopefully making him as ineffectual as last time around.
Donald Trump building a house of cards 
Some podcaster called like "LeEpicKekMaster"
I've been on his show - many times, many times - so I know that LeEpicKekMaster will be a great secretary of defense. Even the greatest - maybe. Iran, China... All problems solved.
One of the Iraq War child murderers he pardoned, probably.
Least the American Sniper chud got owned before he could get the post
Direct democracy, let everyone vote on the official DoD WarHawk™ app
You know, if his current gig of declaring himself interim pope doesn't work out, I have an idea...
I don't know, Jim Cramer?
There are flashing lights and air raid siren sound effects. He puts on a hardhat for some reason. "MANY PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS - BUT CONSIDER WHAT HAPPENS IF WE BOMB IRAN. BOMB-BOMB-BOMB THEM. PANCAKE CITY. STONEAGE-VILLE..." The sirens stop, he removes his helmet, and he now has a serious expression like a doctor is about to explain the surgery needed to remove your tumor. "They're always gonna be a problem. So what if we just solved that problem? Just like that. We juice the federal government's ability to improve the country's ROI. Have a look at this bar chart. Look at the first bar. There's a very, very impressive jump. That's defense stocks..."
Inverse DoD 
Probably an LLM that copied from DeepSeek
Kid Rock
AI Chatbot
Ye
someone hand-picked by Peter Thiel
BallSweat42069