this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2025
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] [email protected] 110 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

You can say shit on the internet.

[–] [email protected] 77 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Ow, my eyes! Censor your fucking shame, you damn poop-eating bastard child birthed from your mother's poopy asshole!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It’s opening a portal to hell.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Oh god.

Oh god no.

One of the demons got loose!

No! Don't ask him about his private jet!

Goddamnit.

Now we've got to reboot Buffy.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago

Dear fucking God. How dare you post that disgusting filth. Get that fucking ifunny shit out of my meme

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You can say shit outside of the Internet too. Shit's crazy that way.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago

POLICE!!!! THIS POST RIGHT HERE!!! THEY DID A NAUGHTY!!!!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

Sir this is a Christian Minecraft server

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Oh man, I haven't seen candle Jack in a minu...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

I got a temporary suspension on that R-word site that shall not be named for using the word "retard" in the context of refrigerating bread to slow the development of mold and there was no way to contest it.

So, with that sort of shit going on all over the internets, I give folks a little grace these days when it comes to self-censorship.

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[–] [email protected] 72 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Holy fucking shit. I almost was exposed to a swear word on the Internet by some asshole cunt. That bitch didn't know it's fucking illegal to swear on the Internet. Thank fucking god someone put a thin white line over it. I was about to shit a brick.

fuck

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago

You've been engagement baited

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Bold comment considering your username.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Always make sure to check your disk drives for errors before you have issues

Or in other words:

You best filesystem check yourself before you filesystem wreck yourself.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

I'm sick of it too

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

They didn’t want to open a portal to hell via a spirit of ~~shit~~

[–] [email protected] 69 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

They think metal is all about devil and demon and hell.

Metal in reality: i'll make a journey and find this holy sword to defeat evil and uphold justice.

Alternatively: I'm a dwarf and i digging a hole.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I listen to metal with themes of "my life has go so horribly wrong and all i know is pain" and "hot goth vampire girls". Sometimes both at the same time.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

Metal is EVIL!!!! Also metal- 30min prog rock song about the singers devoted mother dying and going to haven to get her wings

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

And then there is a 91 year old Christopher Lee that is singing about his Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather, Charlemagne.

No, I'm not joking.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

🎵diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole🎵

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

It's wonderful how misunderstood a lot of the 'evil' metal bands are. Bands like Cradle of Filth and Cattle Decapitation have ostensibly repulsive artwork and song titles/lyrics, but the themes and meaning behind the songs meander between tongue-in-cheek fun to philosophical pondering to outright castigation of humanity's treatment of the natural world. Judging a book by its cover and all that stuff...

Then again, there's Behemoth, who literally describe summoning demons and other pagan and satanic rites in their songs. But good grief, the music is so good.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago

The origins of metal have more moral correctness than the "Christian" US. Scroll all the way back to 1970, "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath. Song very plainly and literally about the corruption of the political establishment and the evil of war. That undercurrent never went away, all the way to the present.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

did anyone find out what metal they were listening to? 👀 asking for a friemd

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Actually yeah, Rehfeldt basically is "metal" with the goofy quotes, haha. I think that means Radio Disney is the lazy river to hell.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I don't like metal. But if it rips portals open, I'll start listening anyway.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Rip & Tear!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Do they have to be ripped? Can metal not simply caress them open?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (6 children)

I thought I didn't like metal. A 91 year old Christopher Lee made me reevaluate that stance

https://youtu.be/0eeRBh7fiQ4

I can actually understand him singing it

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago

Damn, American conservatives are weird as fuck.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago

This is why I hate religion. It turned this person's brain to mush. If you are willing to believe a man walked on water why would it be hard to believe the bullshit Trump spews out?

Religion removes your critical thinking skills making you a prime target for con artists.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago

God damnit, I've spent all this time listening to metal and still haven't gotten my portal yet??!?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If anyone's curious, it's Psalm 69 by Minestry.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

You have to use an LP and play it backwards for the portals to open or else it won't work.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

My dad is a born-again Christian and he threw out all his Black Sabbath records when he (re)converted. I started listening to classic metal in college, and I eventually had to ask my dad... "You threw out this? This is some of the lyrically-mildest stuff I've ever listened to." He just kinda shrugged, and admitted that he overreacted a bit, but this is still 100% the way lots of the evangelicals I grew up with think about anything that's not explicitly marketed as "Christian."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

At this point we really need to accept that there are still puritans amongst us. That said, [insert profane insult here, everything I could think of would irritate someone, and well, shit].

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I said BS at a presentation the other week, like literally the letters, because I wanted to say something completely wrong was bullshit, so I censored it for my wide audience. My boss "mentored" me later that I shouldn't say that because I never know who is watching my talk. If those little bitches lose the heart of my discussion because I used an expletive to reinforce the strength of my observations, they can eat a dick. Obviously, I said I'll try to keep their advice in mind because...

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

What does the guy need in his life? There's a glitch with the photo that cuts off right when he says. Did anyone follow-up and ask him what he needed?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Slayer is a Christian band, just saying.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

If you're into Satan, you're subscribing to Christian concepts. An atheist does not believe in God and in extension, Satan does not exist either.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Are they like a knock-off version of Stryper?

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