this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025

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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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Trans Megathread from January 27th, 2024 to February 2nd, 2024 (lemmygrad.ml)

submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

616 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hiiii!

Today: a short yap about computer hardware:

Damn I love the AM4 socket its so upgradable yay, bought a Ryzen 9 5900X for our old desktop soon to be homelab and so excited for it.

Computers are fun! ~~(and expensive)~~

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (4 children)

dysphoria

I feel like never looking at myself is giving me a very warped sense of myself.

I either pass more than I think I do and I’m inflicting needless mental anguish on myself, or I pass even worse than I think and knowing that will destroy me.
Maybe I’ll hazard a look when I’m 50kg and been on this dose of hrt for a year.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Depression, anxiety, self thoathing

Feel fucking useless. Every time I try to go do queer shit so I'm not so chronically lonely I get most of the way there, barley holding myself together from anxiety, then it all bursts and I have to struggle not to break down right at the door. It always ends in me being so mentally fucked while I'm there that I don't talk to anyone and nobody talks to me, or I am so broken down mentally that I don't go and leave crying. Just dont understand how the fuck people do this shit. Just feel constantly burnt out and lonely

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I like when my dream is like:

doggirl-smug “c’mon you’re male, you are the brother, beat up your sisters abusive ex”.

…and then I actually do it as if I’m not a 5’3 estrogenized girl-thing who can’t even pick up 50 pounds to save my life. doggirl-sweat

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (10 children)

I like to name my characters in video games and ttrpgs the name I veeery nearly chose for myself, as like a little joke that literally only I find funny.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (3 children)

One girl in my Vampire group decided to name her character with a new name she wanted to try out. Turned out she really liked that name and now she and her character have the same name, which is confusing at times.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

Planned Parenthood follow-up went well. We upped my dose from 1 mg 2/day oral tablets to 5mg/week EV IM (keeping on the 50mg 2/day spiro for now). Really excited!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

anti-trans legal situation

So far I have heard of state agencies rejecting ID renewals if you use an amended birth certificate, and one case of a trans woman having her passport renewal rejected despite other documents having an updated sex.

I am wondering if the latter was a case of authorities refusing to honor a sex change during the passport renewal process, though, or if the previous passport had also been updated and somehow they knew anyway.

https://xcancel.com/BiggRatBastard/status/1885138737052450887

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)

kitty-cri-screm

reading r/transnord, getting reminded how garbage our healthcare is for trans people.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (11 children)

gonna try to be less of a lurker on here. howdy to all

shout out to progesterone, just upped to 200mg from 100mg and my tits are feeling a type of way

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

So busy lately wow

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I had such a long and exhausting day but I got a permanent cast for my hand instead of a splint held on with an ace bandage wrap and the lady that put it on for me was the nicest person and really good about explaining everything and was so sweet, I'm gonna have to bake her some brownies or something and get her a nice card

sad

I think that's the first time someone's (sort of) held my hand in like 5 years lmao catgirl-cry

After all this stressful shit, when I got home all I could think about is how nice it'd be to have a partner to come home to and just cuddle me

I'm so fucking lonely lol, it physically hurts sometimes

catgirl-flop

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh but on a happier note, went to the park before the appointment and saw lots of nice dogs and a very cute (assuming?) gay couple and the way the one looked into the other's eyes was so adorable

Like you better be good to that boy, I can tell he fucking adores you

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

bad thoughts must be destroyed

must be productive, must finish work, then play games

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)

CW: Genitalia

Tried tucking for the first time (in private). I got some compression panties from Tomboy X. They are expensive, but seem to work. Unfortunately, I got an erection from gender euphoria that ruined the tuck, but I was able to try on some pants that I had gotten and really like but couldn't wear due to the fit as it regards the untucked crotch.

Also, starting to do voice training exercises. It's neat to feel and manipulate the larynx, although I can see how it's going to take a lot of practice and effort to sound natural/consistent. Got laser hair removal scheduled as well. Just going to be $75/session for the the face/neck, which isn't bad at all.

Regardless of the broader context, I am happy to be making consistent transition progress.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Saw a posting for a job I actually want instead of just needing to survive, but I don't think I'm qualified doggirl-gloom Might just apply anyway. If they laugh and throw out my resume it's not like I'll know any way.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (5 children)

The actual puppygirl struggles they don't tell you about

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

thigh highs vs thigh hickeys
🤔

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (3 children)

reminder to myself to do my injection today meow-knife-trans

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

first bit of gardening done this year ^_^

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

it's friday (rice), friday (rice), gotta get down on friday (rice) waltuh

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Want to post through the pain (not actual pain or mental pain don't worry I'm just using words wrong) but I'm realizing I jus kinda need to see a psychiatrist or some shit. Also get friends but that's even harder somehow

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Fuck I had a terrible thought I am being a bad communist

smut, horny

Had a thought about being in a relationship with a theoretical person in a communist party where because of the power dynamics at play they order me to cuddle them and get kissed by them and I have to follow their orders

Alright anyways, I think I'm a bottom-switch, but I am near constantly a sub and a flustered mess when someone is mildly nice to me

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Is life just an endless cycle of u-hauling into a different relationship every 2 years? Surely it will be different this time... clueless

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

In the process of getting a therapist. Hoping to hear back this week!

Venting, Probably Insane

I had a bad day yesterday. Really lost my cool, lost my glasses then got frustrated with my brother over text trying to talk about it. I hit a level in my emotions that I am not comfortable with, so I need to change.

My new glasses were like, part of feminizing my appearance, so it's upsetting not to have them. Glasses are the only thing protecting others from my intense yet forlorn stare. They help me see, also.

I guess I got caught up in assuming that just because my brother is also trans, that he would like, be more understanding of this or something. He came out 10 years younger than I am. He had our parents. Nobody knows what I dealt with in high school, and they'll never ask.

I worry more and more that everyone in my life likes their Quiet Little Brother who Doesn't Speak, and don't have a ton of room for that to change. I feel like I have to work 150% to match other people's social competency in most settings. So speaking of my needs is just really hard.

It's hurtful to call someone your favorite person and then just keep them in a little box and disregard their emotions and their problems when they get too big. You can at least say you don't want to talk about it. That'd be a step up.

Equally fun is processing that I'm probably autistic and have an entire other theater to wage war on in terms of understanding myself.

So yeah, I feel completely out of my element in just about every way imaginable. I'm hoping that therapy will help.