everybody's beepin!
this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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Trans Megathread for the Week of 2025-01-06 to 2025-01-12 - Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky
(hexbear.net)
Children of Time is a 2015 science fiction novel by Adrian Tchaikovsky.
In the distant future, humanity seeks to create new habitats for itself on distant planets, terraforming them and seeding them with life. Dr. Avrana Kern is heading one such project, orbiting the tentatively named "Kern's World", where the plan is to release monkeys 
infected with a nanovirus that will accelerate their evolution. Through an act of sabotage from an anti-technology group that has also destroyed much of Earth, the monkeys are never released, and the virus instead infects a species of spider, Portia labiata. The book follows the evolution of the spiders and their eventual civilisation, as well as a remnant of humanity that fled to Kern's World hoping to find paradise.
also children of ruin and children of memory, the sequels, are really good
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sorry boss i can't come in to work today. my wife is holding my arm hostage while she sleeps. yeah idk i'll be in next week maybe. i expect full pay for this
it's so strange that americans just did that to their cities. complete unforced error
truly. I took a trip to New York City for the first time and walking around the (now very gentrified) East Village I was like 'ah yes.' Only time I have ever had anything remotely resembling 'retvrn brain'.
My checklist for mental health are make sure I'm clean shaven, paint my nails, and finally epilate. If I can do 2/3 I feel fine usually but feeling bleh so might push myself to do the last one. Just gonna procrastinate first and get some reading done or whatev
The way I think about that if I am feeling depresso/low energy is that it is a sort of limit break activity and even if I overexert it will be made up for by how much better I feel in the whole.
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transphobia is some bullshit. i thought people liked pretty girls but apparently want to stop me from become one? what gives?
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John Lennon if he was amerikkkan: imagine a burger
is he britainish?
Got really drunk on saturday and finally came out to my irl friend group chat. Waking up not remembering doing that was "fun". This is also the second time I've gotten way too drunk and came out (first time was almost ten years ago when I came out to them at a party as bisexual)
Would not recommend it.
internalized transphobia relating to age
In my coming out message I put in my chosen name and for the first two days afterwards, I thought that maybe I wasn't ready to do that.
On analyzing that feeling I'm realizing that it might just be attatched to my internalized shame about coming out at my age and feeling that this whole thing, this whole experience, is a kid/teen/young adult thing. Like thinking about it makes me feel like I'm going to be physically ill. I actually gag when I think about it, out of shame or embarrassment.
I think I need to talk to more older trans people.
Hi Ambii
same feelings
internalized shame about coming out at my age and feeling that this whole thing, this whole experience, is a kid/teen/young adult thing. Like thinking about it makes me feel like I'm going to be physically ill. I actually gag when I think about it, out of shame or embarrassment.
I really felt the exact same way and still do sometimes. It's actually very common. I made a post about it once, and there were a lot of very supportive people who responded. You can check out what they said Here . I'm on the older end of the general population here as far as transition age goes, but there are some people who transitioned even later than me in that thread.
In fact, this feeling is so common that this isn't the first time I've linked this post
You can DM me whenever if you wanna chat with a ahem mature woman.
Thank you for that post. Commiserating with the comments was... therapeutic (?) in a way.
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I'm so glad I started growing my hair out when I did
"I just really like longer hair on guys and really want to try it myself" -my egg ass (to be fair I do still think guys with long hair look real nice)
Now I keep looking at it and it's sooooo weird to think I ever had shorter hair
Vibe! I still mostly date in homomasculine spaces but always look out the fairyish/elvish looking guys with long hair lol.
God, growing out my hair was such a struggle. I must have tried like 4 times before it stuck. It would get to a length where it felt really unmanageable and I would have a panic attack and shave it all off again.
I'm so glad I stuck with it this time
secretly kind of hoping that Donald Trump will be too busy thining about invading Greenland and/or Canada that he'll be too busy to do anything terrible for trans people
Fingers crossed, and hopefully Canada will be too busy thinking of Trump's impending invasion for the next likely PM (Poilievre) to do the same as well.
i've got my fingers crossed that it'll somehow end up with some kind of a switcheroo and canada ends up annexing the us, and then at least there's health care probably.
Does it make sense that I'm kind of hoping I've actually been infertile all along? Then I wouldn't have to be responsible about fertility preservation. It would just be a fact of life and nothing anyone can blame me for
That makes total sense to me. It basically absolves you from making a major decision
CW: Depression, dysphoria
I have been so godsdamned depressed the last few days that is stemming from some extreme dysphoria that I've been feeling with. And yes, regardless of after having had top and bottom surgery, I am capable of becoming dysphoric. I don't feel genuine. I feel fake. Without having had those experiences I missed on growing up, I feel that I will always be on the outside looking in regardless of what I do. I always see these ciswomen whose experiences I could never emulate and it just kills me on the inside. Yay. I have a vagina, I have breasts, but I'll never have those experiences. It depresses the hell out of me and it is draining the will to live out of me. I hate it so much. Couple that with feeling of not being capable of fitting in with any trans communities for a multitude of reasons. Further couple that with the crushing depression that's on and off since my divorce and I just fucking hate life right now. yay
New year (and more specifically I returned home from visiting fam) and... I guess I gotta live again, and by that I mean do productive things (not that visiting fam was bad- it was wonderful, helped my mom cook a lot and just connected with siblings idk) and get my life on track as well as to a point where I could actually have some sort of notion of self worth.
I guess tomorrow and onwards will be the turning point (or it won't, but it has to be). I guess today wasn't so bad either in terms of doing some things for myself. Ought to leverage my siblings (sis could also use help really) for assistance in keeping up motivation (or having any) I guess.
Today I had a weird dream, I basically almost never dream (or at least don't remember them) but in this dream let's just say I looked somewhat different in the mirror and wasn't dysphoric and was going 
even in the dream. Sucks to have to wake up from that tbh, optimistic ish but don't trust myself to see it through properly. 
I guess I also just have severe issues of self-doubt and self-sabotage historically, been thinking of that lately (well always)
I.. I dunno, compared to previous times I'm more defeated, not running on fumes and hot air as much as before and more.. wise(?) I guess, while trying to pick myself up. But I know myself and tbh the honest truth is I just kinda have a really messed up (limbic system, lack of self worth and motivation, learned helplessness etc). How am I supposed to trust that?
Blahaj (bootleg) acquired.
My parents and immediate family keep asking me "when are you bringing home a girlfriend?" every time I visit and I have no idea how to tell them that sooner or latter the "girlfriend" that will come home might just be me.
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Really hoping I pass enough for my sisterβs wedding 
internalized transphobia
Every time I go outside and see a cis woman my age I become jealous and sad. I feel so inferior to them. They're born with the right body, while I have to spend a huge amount of time, effort and money in order to change mine. I have to be on HRT for the rest of my life, do voice training and go through several major surgeries, and even then there's no guarantee that cis people will perceive me as a woman.
And will I ever feel like a real woman? Even if I reach the point where I fully pass, that won't change the fact that I've spent several decades living as the wrong gender, and that I'll never have periods or the ability to give birth 
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