checkmate Christians 
Not accounting for the naughty kids who flipped a light switch on the Sabbath. Probably Santa would have to visit about 3 homes in total, which is why most adults don't believe in Santa.
this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2024
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chapotraphouse
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What Mr. Tyson doesn't understand is that there are four simultaneous 24-hour days in a single earth rotation
He is already too educated stupid
Evil oneness
It's literally no issue, Santa can just stop time. Haven't you heard of his stand? He has "The World". It can stop time. Santa is all-powerful. He can stop it for as long as he wants. Checkmate.
I don't really hold this against him, tbh. It might sound insufferable but also is a nice piece of trivia. Maybe because I'm autistic I tend to sympathize with people who write tone-deaf and completely pointless infodumps
I don't hate him because he's annoying, I hate him because he is (allegedly) a sexual assaulter
also every one of these tweets seems to accompany a fresh accusation. wonder who accused him on Christmas two years ago
This is also exactly the kind of thing every kid gets into after they find out Santa isn’t real, they go through an ex-Santa believer nu-grinch phase where they need to find facts to process their new reality.
People leaving religions go through the same process of militant atheism because they have to dispel the lingering doubt in themselves
Realizing Santa wasn't real at 4 years old was the beginning of my radicalization. After that I believed nothing without looking it up first, which of course led me to communism. Idk how all these other contrarian fucks ended up libs
I was the first one in my class to realise it was all fake and I broke so many souls that day. I went to every other kid "you think Santa is real? Guess what you dork it isn't"
I beg to differ. We can see his exact route in realtime on Christmas eve delivering presents. 100% possible! https://www.noradsanta.org/en/map
and he will visit them, as santa is an eldrich horror beyond our comprehension and our belief keeps him banevolent
please god make neil delete his twitter and shut the fuck up forever i'll never ask for anything again
Isn't it kind of fucked up to teach your kids about Santa. Like you're basically telling them that family didn't do much gifting for them it was all Santa. Its better for the kid to know you love them and thought about them rather than lie to them and subvert your relationship
Anyways I'm going to the local mall to debate a phony Santa 
I figured out santa was fake when I was 5 and the toys said made in China
As a postal worker im also kinda annoyed with Santa. Mfer I busted my ass all month delivering presents and even the elves get more credit than me
I stand for the troops and salute the flag 
My kid is 4 and Santa is hitting hard this year even though we don't play up the Santa stuff. The level of pervasiveness of Santa in American culture is huge. What I've started saying to her is: "did you know that anyone can be Santa? Sometimes mom is Santa, sometimes Dad is Santa, or grandma and grampa, and one day you'll get to be Santa too."
She gets all her ideas about Santa from media and other people. It feels almost impossible to avoid.
if you're gonna lie to your kids, lie about fun shit Calvin's dad would say.
I do think about that a lot, and how not receiving gifts is explained as a consequence for bad behavior. As a kid, if you notice all the poor kids aren't getting gifts, isn't the obvious implication that they're all naughty?
Santa is just another part of the American Civic Religion that reinforces prosperity gospel. The rich children are rewarded by gifts from Santa while the poor are punished by being ignored.
Naughty kids get clean-burning coal, the backbone of our Nation's energy supply. If the poor kids would just save up their coal and start a Koch competitor, they wouldn't be poor.
new Ed Edd n Eddy episode idea just dropped
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adult santa enjoyers are SEETHING. they can't withstand his logic
If they join forces with Disney adults they would be unstoppable but alas factionalism wins again
I think ots important for there go be people from the scientific community who act in the role of "popularizers of science." Its good to have liasons to speak to a general audience and make people aware and excited about what they do and discover.
But damn if this guy isn't the most insifferable prick about it
Ngl I do like doing the “if this obviously fake thing were real what would that take” but Neil is still annoying as hell
I hate Elon Musk for a lot more reasons than NDT but for those reasons where my hatred of them overlaps I hate them equally
Santa is a very powerful wizard. Possibly the last wizard on earth. Next question
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so? he's just really good at his job
Sounds like the type of person who always says their favourite Christmas movie is Die Hard.
Santa is confirmed as an Omega level mutant with reality warping powers so thats easy for him
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