checkmate Christians 
this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2024
172 points (100.0% liked)
chapotraphouse
13609 readers
754 users here now
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Slop posts go in c/slop. Don't post low-hanging fruit here.
founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
In case you were wondering, for Santa to pass through every chimney of the houses of all those who celebrate Christmas, he must be no wider than 25 cm. However, not every house has a chimney—and technically, breaking and entering via a chimney is a crime. If Santa were caught, he might end up in jail!
AITA because I shot Santa while he was entering my house via the chimney??
ELI5 how big is Santas sack?
That sounds like a comedy premise. Santa gets shot by a paranoid homeowner and someone has to save Christmas.
I think that's the plot to "The Santa Claus" with Tim Allen. Basically a guy catches Santa on his roof, startles Santa, and Santa slips, falls, and dies. Apparently being Santa is some kind of memetic curse, because Tim Allen is now turning into Santa against his will, experiencing all kinds of body horror as he grows a big beard, his hair turns white, and he gains stupid amounts of weight.
Dark and gritty Santa Clause reboot where Santa says "fuck"
Bobby McChud shoots Santa in an instance of castle doctrine. Because of the intricacies of Christmas magic McChud becomes the new Santa. He gives AR-15's to white children and coal to woke children. Hillary ensues.
NSFW?
NTA your chimney your rules
A lot of houses have a chimney that's just an exhaust for a gas furnace, not a fireplace... an interesting twist I've never seen an attempted explanation for
in the Santa Clause movie Tim Allen goes down those too.. as he thins out to fit into the pipe and goes down, at the bottom the wall turns into a giant fireplace, until he goes back up again and it turns back into a normal wall.
lol that's pretty funny and the goofy cgi makes it even better
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=Gv9c0bGEhms
Santa is a wizard. I believe that answers all of the questions
Uhm actually Santa is a sorcerer
Oh, sure, a spontaneous caster that spends all their time in a secluded tower definitely not studying spells. Not buying it
According to most research, Santa had his powers magically given to him without any effort and spends all year spying on people and finding reasons to not give gifts to the poor while running a factory fueled by slave labor. Not only is he a sorcerer, he's also bourgeoisie.
I'm willing to entertain contrary evidence but to act like you know anything for certain about sick an enigma is folly!
real saruman-type operator
naw santa spends 364 days a year doing spell prep for his one big showstopper moment, def a wizard