I hope he chooses the most incompetent person ever to lead the team that is meant to protect his life. That definitely has the most potential to lead to a funny outcome
this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2024
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chapotraphouse
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"We're going to perfectly recreate the Kennedy open topped car ride because what are the odds this happens twice?"
Well Kennedy's head just did that. Oswald was just the patsy to cover up what scientists still can't figure out.
Oh….okay…so these wild ass appointments aren’t actually concerted efforts to destroy the government they’re just stupid
Danny Boingo was NYPD and was in the Secret Service for like over a decade during the Bush/early Obama years, this might be one of the least stupid picks so far tbh.
Trump is personally invested in his own safety after the assassination attempt, so it makes sense that he would pick someone who at least has relevant job experience. He still managed to pick another TV personality, which is super funny.
Exactly, he's still a TV guy but with the added bonus of actual work experience for the position. Bong Gongino is still a colossal dumbass, but he's not near as ridiculous a pick as Dr. Oz or Linda McMahon.
Given the history of the NYPD and the Secret Service... I feel like you'd want an outside guy to yank the leash, not an insider who will be along for the ride.
I was going to say this one i expected him to appoint some absolute demon that nobody has ever heard of but no it seems like literally the stupidity is the point.
Starting to lean towards the theory the entire interview process for these is
-
Will you use the 25th to remove me from power.
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Give me damning evidence I can keep to use against you if you try to use the 25th.
“Now that ah, Danny Bongos is handling security, he’s gonna take care of things, capisce?”
Imagine if his name was actually Danny Bongos. On average about once a week he'd be in a fistfight to "defend his honor". In other words - somebody laughed at him due to his name.
First day initiation for recruits: "Remember... Boss hates nicknames. Don't call him BongBong, DongBongs, Bongos, Big Swinging Bong, Bongly, Mr. Pong Bong, Mr. Pong Dong, Dongoroo, Bongoroo, Bongoree, Bring in the Bong, Bongee, Bonger, Bwaga, The Mad Bonger, Danny Big Bong, Danny Small Bong, Danny Bongs, Bong, Bongoloo, Gone Bong... Actually, best to just keep your fuckin' trap shut. Got it?"
my dude like three people have tried to shoot you in the past year what the fuck are you doing lmao
(please do it)
Thesis -Bingo
Antithesis -Bongo
Synthesis -Bongino
Bingo bango bongo i am so happy in the jungle i dont want to go
Convinced the appointments are now just trying to troll 
Daniel John Bongino (born December 4, 1974) is an American conservative political commentator, radio show host, and author. He serves as a host of The Dan Bongino Show on Rumble. He served as host of the Unfiltered with Dan Bongino on Fox News until April 2023. In his early career, from 1995 to 1999, he served as a New York City Police Department (NYPD) officer. Next he served as a US Secret Service agent from 1999 to 2011. Bongino unsuccessfully ran three times for Congress as a Republican.
Dan Bongino
The dude sounds like a yo-yo.
A guy in Trump World is actually named Matthew Calamari. And - I'm not making this up either - his son's name is Matthew Calamari Jr.
Reality is not only outpacing the Onion, but our very own c/fakenews!
He sounds like the fake name I'd make up after smoking an entire blunt to my face
blunt rotation, but we're just making up candidates and their backgrounds with each pass
Also, let Elon take a stab at it
Great idea, Mr. president!
Make sure you only hire PTSD addled former-specops guys too! Make sure they're not taking any of those forced-fem quack pills or going to pussification therapy.
(Are we at the stage where secret service "accidentally" the president then auctions off the presidency to the highest bidder?)
(I strategically a word)
Trump, please rename the secret service to the "praetorian guard", it would be cool and based and roman and there are no other secret reasons.
E tu Bongino ?
I mean, it's literally called the SS rn, naming it Praetorian Guard might actually make it sound less Hitlerist.
I mean, that's already what it is in reality. It's why I get (maybe irrationally?) angry when anyone defends its existence. Like I'm not objecting to some baseline security for "important" officials... but that security in the case of the president comes directly at the expense of everyone not covered by secret service protection. It's just such a clear and obvious as fuck trampling of any idea of liberalism to allow a goonsquad to have unlimited authority to remove people, arrest them for speech (and not speech that is normally disallowed- evaluated protections), extrajudicially murder citizens on a whim... it's just the praetorian guard for modern times in every way. They can do that job without stomping rights, btw. Maybe that means more risk for the big guy... ok. That's a risk every leader is supposed to accept. Why the fuck does one person get a personal small army that is immune to consequences?
Just one of my personal "Things that piss me the fuck off, and I feel compelled to constantly rant to an unhinged degree IRL and online because too many people just blindly accept it as "fine and ok."" No one has ever provided me with a valid reason within law or just "liberal thought" to excuse its existence as such though. But, whatever. Many things to rant about for which people have no answer other than "why do you care...?"
Praying for the year of five presidents.
(I strategically a word)
reddit vibes 
Death to America
Yeah, it was intended as a meta joke thing... normally it's the response when someone actually accidentally... never mind
Bongino hit transplant
I thought c/fakenews for a second.
There's NO WAY that's a real person's name. That's just too on-the-nose.
I want the lathe to have Trump to say "This is my new body man - Tommy Lasagna. Great name - right?..."
The following video includes everything I know about Dan Bongino. Do not tell me more.