Did my first blood test for T and E so I don't have to wait anymore for that and I'm one step closer to starting HRT. But want to make an appointment for blood work for liver function first since I'm going to take bicalutamide. I could've asked to the nurse if she could test that as well but didn't think of it at the time
this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2024
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hi so i forgot to message the person who was next (sorry HelltakerHomosexual) so i'm just gonna talk about a thing i like
Shadow the Hedgehog is a character that appears in the Sonic the Hedgehog series. Characterized by his sharp wit and strong sense of purpose, Shadow is a recurrent arch-rival of Sonic the Hedgehog, whom he resembles and shares many abilities. He is a major supporter of trans people, as evidenced by his catchphrase, "Trans people are cool!"
^ this is all from the wiki btw
I like Shadow a lot. His first appearance in the series is in a game where him and Sonic are both fighting the government and destroying these multi-million dollar gunships. Sonic is doing it because he loves communism but Shadow is doing it because he has a blood feud against G.U.N., who are like the global government death squads because they killed this girl, Maria, who he was best friends with.
Maria basically had an incurable illness that Eggman's grandpa was trying to cure by creating an immortal lifeform, which is actually how Shadow was born. Also, Shadow has a copy of Maria's soul I guess? Seriously, look it up. I'm reading all this shit for the first time right now and that sounds kinda trans to me.
Anyway, she gets shot by the troops and despite Maria telling Shadow to be normal and happy, Eggman's grandpa is pissed off about it so he starts psyopping Shadow into wanting to kill everyone on Earth. Eggman's grandpa successfully does the psyop and locks Shadow away until Eggman finds and releases him.
With his newfound power, Shadow starts being evil and helping Eggman find the Chaos Emeralds because he sees him piss on the moon or something. This goes on for a while until he gets back on the space station and remembers what Maria said, deciding to finally be normal and happy.
He switches up, goes Hyper Shadow and helps Sonic defeat the Biolizard which is basically what it sounds like: a giant lizard who wears the space station like a little jacket and shoots lasers from his mouth. Also, that thing was the prototype Ultimate Lifeform before they decided on the optimal form of existence: a little bipedal anthro hedgehog.
So they beat this lizard up, I guess it dies and then the space station is hurtling toward the Earth. Shadow takes a Chaos Emerald and, with the help of Sonic, does one last Chaos Control on the space station, returning it to a stable altitude. Sonic finds himself back on the space station as he flies into the atmosphere. After this, a big semi-translucent Shadow appears on top of the Earth and everyone can see it.
Why would I lie about that? Here it is.
Anyway, a bunch of shit happens after that but I don't care about it. If someone else wants to talk about Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) feel free. What I really wrote this out to justify talking about is the moon in Sonic games. Like I said before, the moon gets pissed on and destroyed with the help of Shadow,
and then in the next game it's just fine but evil now(???)
and after THAT it's not evil anymore but it's fully intact:
What the fuck? Why? How? I watched it get blown up. Who put the moon back together? Anyway, we're getting in the weeds here. Welcome to the mega.
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Call me Pisshmael
sexuality, anxiety, HRT
Seeing a lot of people here saying that they weren't attracted to men before HRT, but now they are (some exclusively), and it really freaks me out.
If E made me not attracted to my wife anymore, I couldn't handle it--literally panicking just thinking about it. It makes me not even want to try it, tbh.
One of the only reasons I decided to try HRT was because @[email protected] once said that sexual preference shifts are statistically unlikely.
::: spoiler spoiler
this is one of the worst bits of misinformation imo. hrt can't shift sexuality, discovering more about yourself can, but it sounds like you've done a lot of thinking on that already. I wouldn't worry 
spoiler
Its very unlikely yeah. I am personally of the opinion sexuality shifts are just people removing repressed stuff. If you are already certain you're attracted to your wife I don't think that will change. Possible you might be more open to attraction to men. But it won't ungay you, I know plenty of trans lesbians.
Personally I found myself more attracted to the people I'm attracted to after transitioning. It feels way more visceral. Like when I look at my bf I can feel how much I like him in my neck and in my stomach.
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spoiler
I wouldn't get hung up on it. I think its a couple things, a few people are dealing with comphet as women/enbys now whereas before they didn't feel the compulsory part as hard because hegemonic society said they were "men" and some are finding out after cracking their eggs and doing HRT they were actually bi the whole time (like very very few people are, like, Kinsey style pure hetero/gay) and finally dealing with dysphoria and seeing sex and gender crack open like that means they can come to terms with "hey, I did like boys the whole time, I just never really realized."
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spoiler
i can almost guarantee that won't happen. you love your wife, you are attracted to your wife, you're not doing a flavor of comphet that you will transition out of. even if HRT does that for you, you can just stop whenever you want
thank you
For comforting me even though I said shadow is cringe 
you're welcome :) i don't hold it against you, everyone has some bad opinions
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time really is moving a lot slower now that I'm actually enjoying life. I was talking with some friends about I Saw The TV Glow and just remembered that it was released this year and not last year even though it feels like it might as well have came out two years ago from all I remember
God, at the start of this year I really did think that I was a cis guy, didn't I?
fuck, how time changes...
Why are gasmasks a submissive kink? I would think not dying in a chlorine attack is a pretty dominant move.
the dom: "yes you little slut take that chlorine"
Usually a breath play thing, sealing the breathing tube temporarily, etc
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Thought of another Shadow fact, in sonic and the black knight shadow appears as Lancelot so take whatever myth from that and add it to shadows lore. He's known as the Ultimate Knight
honestly the music from satbk is worth checking out for all the remixing of old themes from past games
Watching a video where 19 year olds are discussing how much of dumb kids they were at 16 like it was ages ago is making me feel ancient
Today has been a busy day, and I feel like I've made good progress with several important things. Had my first appointment with a speech therapist experienced in helping trans people, and now I'm back to voice training 
Trying a different tactic, hopefully I'll actually be able to stick to it this time 
The pro strat for getting all 326 routes in shadow the hedgehog (2005) is to have no social life, why have sex or go out with a S/O when you got routes to complete 
also do route 326 first and work backwards that way each time you check the library it'll open up to your last run and you don't gotta flip through it.
Made a libsky account and I guess all the twitter chuds are moving there too, and a lot of them are like βIβm just here to debate! Donβt you want engagement with dissenting opinions? Itβs what prevents echo chambers after all π€βοΈβ we really are back in 2016 lol
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Underrated benefit of undercut (CW horny)
Not catching long hair up in a wrap around tape gag (probably my favourite gag)
Damn you're making me want to get into Sonic.
Hey this feminist ethical theorist is taking a pretty marxist view on feminism, I wonder what the rest of the class is going to say about the issues that still face us today!
The hero or dark bars in shadow the hedgehog (2005) are either seen as ok or useless depending on the mission you're doing but you just gotta use them right. Filled both offer unlimited ammo and invincibility that you can use to bypass a lot of harmful terrain. Chaos control should be timed over bottomless pits or rails since when it ends it will put you past both and chaos blast can absolutely wreak egg dealer and diablon under a minute if you know what you are doing.
exceedingly horny post
waking up at 4 am exceedingly thirsty for men and having that completely consume all my thoughts for the next 2 hours as I fantasize heavily about getting a BF as I feel the 
on my wall glaring down at me in shame
this has been a recurring thing for the last several weeks and I'm starting to think that the HRT is actually fucking with my sexuality here
spoiler
it happened to me too! I was exclusively into girls before HRT (as far as I knew and know) but after I was like "oh some guys smell nice..." and now its kind of a whole pendulum/dual thing for me that is frustratingly complicated!
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I never found any joy in my identity before I realized I'm agender. Now I know and being agender is something very cool and it makes me smile
Doing my injection and now constantly wondering what my levels are as I sit in anticipation.
Once it was done, I went to check the webpage that shows the results, spamming ctrl-shift-r. STOP DOING THAT AshenWolf/Ashen/Ash/Wolf/Wolfie/Luna/Luna'sAlt, THE RESULTS AREN'T GOING TO BE POSTED YET 
Also, 
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